Change Your Name!!!! (Blog 6)

Aloha! Writing this blog will be a challenge, as pretty much all that’s happened to me since writing my last one, was me going to bed. Ok, so, it’s raining outside… Rain rhymes with pain… Hm… Actually, that’s something I can work with… Don’t you think it’s funny how the word ‘rain’ rhymes with other negative words? Stain, pain, bane, chains that shackle you and overpriced champaign. Everything that rhymes with rain is bad. Perhaps this isn’t surprising, as simply saying the word, sounds like your moaning. ‘Why does it have to raaaaain’. See? It’s an annoying word. In contrast, think of the word ‘sun’. Short, snappy and cheerful. Rhymes with ‘fun’, ‘won’ and ‘pun’. Who doesn’t like a good pun, or indeed, a bun? If you’re an uber fan of mine, you may have noticed I began exploring this idea, in another post. However, at the time, I didn’t realise quite how substantial it was.

Now we’ve discovered that words sound like what they mean, we can analyse the behaviour of the ultra-influential Theresa May, and therefore, can predict at least part of your future. The first word that springs to mind is ‘jeez’. As in, ‘jeez, Theresa May, I can’t believe you’ve messed up the UK. Now everyone will pay’. I don’t mean to sound like a pessimist, but we’re all doomed, and just because of her name. It doesn’t have to be like this, though, all she needs is an alias. Maybe she could call herself Victoria. Victoria the victor of euphoria. Chillingly, nothing rhymes with Donald, meaning that Mr. Trump’s actions are impossible to forecast.

Alright, NOW I’ve run out of things to say. However, all I need to do, is something outrageous, and then I can write about that. However, I must stress outrageous AND legal. What ever that could be, is currently elusive. I think it’s something to ponder over some fish and chips. For now, I’ll just jot some ideas down, and see if I can develop them….

Jump all the way to the fish and chip shop.

Roly poly the way to the fish shop, then say to the cooks ‘waheeey!’, then roly poly back.

Ok, I like neither of those ideas. Compounding that, wix.com isn’t available to contact on Mondays, so I can’t expand my website, yet. Hmmmmm……… I guess I’m going to have to hang around here, then for a while. So… Have you noticed how Van Gogh would have made a great goth? Cutting off his own ear? Very metal. Oh, we’re back to that stuff again, it wasn’t even intentional. But what does the van mean? No, Simon, you’re thinking to hard, you’ll drive yourself mad! Time to go to gym, and take my mind off things.

Ahhhhh. That’s better. Now I’m just staring at a blank screen, still with writer’s block. Well, it’s not truly blank, I’m looking at a picture of the stars. Isn’t space big! You could argue that a lot of the wonder in the world is gone, now science has advanced so much, but did the ancients have any idea how massive the universe was? Probably not, so in a way there’s more wonder, now. I mean space is so big, it’s ridiculous. Ramble, ramble, ramble. On a related note, I’m just going to eat a couple of papadums. They’re basic foods, but I like them. I like them more soft, don’t ask me why, I just do, the same goes for cornflakes. I don’t like soft biscuits, though. Is there any sense of consistency in the world? Nothing makes any sense, not even biscuits and papadums. What hope has the world got in preventing WW3, if we can’t even make sense of the food we eat. But then again, should we fear WW3? I mean it just sounds so silly, doesn’t it? World War Threeeee! It sounds like something a toddler would say. World War 4 sounds more fearsome, like a world war of the Gods. Oh, we’re back to the sounds of words, again. I do apologise. Alright, I’ll finish, with that experimental incoherent entry, now. A hui hou!