Last time I had a health checkup at my local doctor’s 6 or so months ago, I was told my next appointment would be in a year, so I was surprised to get a text telling me to get another checkup already. I phoned why I apparently needed one so soon and was told my last checkup wasn’t a full health test which is annoying, as a ‘full’ checkup in this case means I need to weigh myself and get my blood pressure taken. I couldn’t have done that stuff 6 months ago, it would be WAY too

This will be my 100th contest blog? Let’s do something special, then! What could it be? You’ll have to find out but for now, let’s get into Matt and co.’s school-based podcast! As always, I’ll be reviewing as the show goes on and I have no idea what will happen! Exciting stuff! Wow, the teachers begin the podcast by telling their names. I was completely wrong when I guessed, what was it? Joachim and Sebastien a while ago? Could have happened to anyone. Any foreigner, anyway.

How’s about this for a start to the new year: The petrol station meatball wraps are back! My favourite! I had one on Monday in fact, and it was as nice as ever. What happens when I get bored of them? Doesn’t matter, chicken slices are back, too. I’m getting a little tired of the chicken samosas I eat most mornings but maybe I’m expecting too much from a place that mainly sells petrol? I could ask for hash browns from the same place, but they take a good 3 and a half minutes t

To start the day yesterday, I got my daily petrol station foods. Nothing spectacular there for me, but tasty stuff and respect to the place for being open on new year’s day. Otherwise there could be countless stranded cars or at very least hungry people. Then I posted another year’s worth of shapes and THEN I ranked the 22 best albums of the year for Metal Rules. (Or at very least the 22 best albums I reviewed for the site). Why 22? Because I gave a good 20 albums 4.5/5 or ov

Here’s a chilling message I received a while ago, but only yesterday did I feel brave enough to confront… ‘To align with evolving industry standards for user transparency and consent, all publishers and CMPs are required to transition to the IAB Europe's Transparency and Consent Framework (TCF) v2.3 by February 28, 2026. Google’s systems can accept and process TCF v2.3 strings today. As such we recommend that you begin this transition well ahead of the deadline to avoid disru

As the title suggests, this is a depressing blog. It’s not as bad as tomorrow’s though, in that I’ll be talking about me trying to decode the gibberish instructions Adsense sent me. It’s so badly worded in fact, I don’t even have a clue what it’s about. To be fair though, I did only skim read it when I first got the message a while ago now, but that’s because Derren Brown teaches the power of the subconscious. In theory, skimming it should be enough. In his theory. I say ‘his

I’m typing on Boxing Day morning and at the moment there is less positive to say than negative. I’m kinda bored. I went shopping to get food and brown wrapping paper (the only kind they had) so I could wrap presents for my sister in law and youngest niece after running out of the stuff on Christmas eve. That went well at very least, especially as I got my dad to pay for everything. It is the season for giving but who to, that’s the question? Well, my dad was giving to me. To

On Christmas eve, I spilled water on a few of my CDs. Very annoying, but then I had the idea of washing the spines of some of the older ones and now they look as good as new! I thought they were beyond repair, cynical Simon! Even the sun damaged spines look a lot better now, merry Christmas! To start Christmas day I didn’t really do anything worth mentioning. I bought some rather standard petrol station food but I did splurge a little as it was Christmas (I got TWO sugary bun

Ah blog 555, or as Slipknot would say ‘If you’re 555, then I’m 666! >:(’ I however, am never 666, especially on Christmas. Deep down, I think the same is true for Slipknot. Anyway, to start the Christmas shopping day on the Tuesday, I had my monthly blood test. Not particularly festive but at the same time, it’s not really an issue. It is when I get told to have a second blood test, which I’m convinced is just to study me (how about mind your own business?) but at the time of

It’s time for another Matt inspired podcast blog! We’re coming up to 100 contests now, and I’m sure it will very special, but you know what? 99 is a cool looking number, too! Now let’s talk about what the three podcasters say! Matt starts the show by saying he’s a standup comedian and actor, and soon after he points out how he didn’t mention he’s also a teacher, making it seem like he conned his way into the latter profession or at very least the school-themed podcast for a f

Yesterday I went to yet another London Comedy Writers meeting party in London. Because of my excellent hand written notes that I copied from the internet, navigating the various trains was no problem at all, it was even strangely satisfying, so I have little to say about the journey. However, after leaving one of the stations, I was asked by someone trying to get donations from the various commuters if I was friendly. I said ‘no’ and was asked for a donation, anyway. I said ‘

Today, (I’m writing on a Saturday) the gym will be closing early, because of a staff party. Not a party for me, for me it’s annoying. Not to worry, I can do some working out in the gym early on (just a half session), then I can do some blogging, then I can do the rest of the workout out at home. And of course, as I’m likely to be the gym’s biggest user that makes me a gym prince. A half gym prince! That’s a new Harry Potter novel, which is interesting as in school it was poin

At the time of writing (on a Sunday) I got my dad to at least try and repair my car after I scraped it in the petrol station. What I do know is the place’s cardboard sign is still damaged after the accident and good! That’s what the sign deserves. Fine, it was my fault, I get that but as the sign has no advanced microchips in it… what’s it gonna do? Never insult a computer, they’re too clever as we all know. When I said Sunday would be the best time for the ‘repairs’ a few da

As I’m typing on a Sunday, my dad said my brother and his family would be visiting me today. (The former has a habit of lying for no reason)… But I shaved, didn’t I? I never shave the day I see my brother and I shave every two days, as we all know. My dad should have said my sibling would be visiting me either yesterday or tomorrow if he would have any chance of me believing him. As the blog title suggests, me seeing my brother on the day I shave is a paradox. I don’t know th

Ok, it’s time for another Matt and two other teachers on a podcast themed blog, let’s go! Wow, Matt very quickly says you have to have something wrong with you to either teach or do standup comedy and he does both of those things. His lessons must be pretty interesting. If he has something physically wrong with him, he’ll be spewing all over the students, if he has something mentally wrong with him, he’ll only be pretending, which is why I think mental problems aren’t anythin

Earlier on today, I went to the opticians for a checkup as I haven’t been there for over two years. I can’t say I’ve noticed my vision getting worse in that time which is something. However, if someone shines bright lights into your eyes for a good minute or so as they look at you with a serious and analytical stare, you kinda get the feeling that there is the potential for something to be very seriously wrong with you. I’d have to wait and see. After being asked various ques

Plaque on my teeth is already building up despite my recent dentist appointment, so I thought I’d try mouthwash again, but a different brand this time. The first one stained my teeth, so I did some light research and asked the internet if you can get mouthwash that doesn’t leave any marks. I think I’ve found a suitable product but before I get around to that, I want to get some hardcore complaining out of the way. So, I read that the stuff’s dye may have caused my teeth to be

Today’s Matt themed blog will be special as I didn’t get his permission for writing it. I KIND of did, he said I could use any of his stuff a while ago, just not recently. If Matt does complain, I can simply change his name to the completely different ‘Sebastien’ on a later date. In the worst case scenario, I could also say he’s not featuring in a teacher themed podcast, but a tutor themed radio show. Different enough. How do I explain the special thumbs up for Matt? Well, th

Earlier on today, I went to Staines to celebrate the excellent results of my dentist appointments! I was fearing the health care workers would say something like ‘You’ve gone too far, Simon. All the sugar? It has to stop, screwed up face. :S.’ I heard nothing of the sort, so why not go on an intense food binge in the town? Actually there’s a fairly good reason - constipation BUT I’ve been drinking more the last few days and my self-diagnosed torn bum seems to have healed. For

As I’m typing, I’m psyching myself up for my upcoming dentist appointments. Obviously I can’t really blog about that yet as I haven’t been there. I can guess what it will be like though judging by past experiences, I’d be really nervous as I wait, the hygiene session will be really painful, the proceeding overall checkup won’t be nearly as bad, and I’d feel a huge sense of relief and boosted mood when everything is finally over. I heard that after you get stung by a bullet an