Earlier on today, I went to Hampton Court with my dad, brother, sister in law, nephew and two mini nieces! Now I know this sounds unbelievable, I don’t really believe it myself but I didn’t shave, today. I know right? I just had to get that out of the way first as I can’t believe it myself. Something must be going on, but for the love of God, what? On the drive there, I spotted a UVH numberplate! So what? Well… Uncle Van Halen! I’ve seen Eddie, Alex, now his uncle, now I’m on

It’s time for another Matt-based teacher themed podcast summary, now let’s go! Soon after the show starts, Matt says ‘there is no boundaries’… (obviously referring to school, I think we all get the point, now). I hate to sound petty, but it’s ‘there ARE no boundaries’! Yes, I am fairly confident about that, but at the same time whenever someone says a mistake, part of me worries that I’M the problem and even worse, I fear I have to relearn at least some of the English languag

Wow, against all reason I’ve been made king of Italy! It’s one hell of a responsibility, but I’ve made a serviceable pasta and I think that’s a good start. Next step, Ferraris and lasagnes for everyone! Long term readers will know I lied last year and said I was king of Spain as part of an April fools prank, but this time you can trust me. :P What if I wasn’t joking, though? King of Italy AND Spain?? THAT’S a busy job. Sombreros and tapas for all, along with the Italian food

What can I say? It’s been a boring month, the highlight of it being washing sands from Africa off my car. It was fun for a few seconds, then the novelty wore off and it was just another car wash, I guess I shouldn’t have got my hopes up. Not only that, I got one less hour of sleep today at the time of writing on a Sunday, as the clocks went forward. Not only am I tired, but even as a 37 year old I can’t work out whether clocks going forward gives you one hour less sleep or on

On Monday morning I washed my car because the weatherman said it would be coated in bits of sand, carried by winds all the way from the exotic Sahara desert, or something. My car wasn’t COVERED in sand or anything but then again, I wouldn’t really want it to be. It would be something that would stick in my mind which I guess would be a small benefit though, I just don’t want to drive looking like a weirdo. It was interesting when I saw Amish people whilst in America and I’m b

This time I’ll be blogging even though I have nothing much to say, and because I promised (or at least said) I’d write at least four blogs a month to the person who suggested I start a website about 9 years ago now. Hello Nat, this is for you. Who is this Nat? Natalie? Nope, he was man! A man from Greece, they clearly have a different idea of what to name people and I mean really. Calling a boy ‘Nat’ over here is a huge no-no, it’s like calling a girl ‘Bruce’ or ‘Hank’. (Two

This month’s teachers themed podcast is called ‘Teachers EXPOSE the Real Reason Classrooms Are Failing.’ I actually think I know the reason. I mean surely it’s either a problem with the students, parents, or (and I know Matt and the two other podcasters will hate me saying this), the teachers. It’s not going to be because people aren’t eating enough carrots, is it? But let’s find out what they’ll say…  I hate to say this as well, but Matt soon asked another podcaster a fairly

Six seven! Oh joy! Or near enough. Anyway, as I’m typing on a Sunday morning (I have just a few seconds before the afternoon in fact :O) my brother’s family SHOULD be visiting me and my dad later on, and I believe my sibling’s claim. Why? Because I didn’t shave today. I’m really kicking myself I didn’t start my shave diary when I first noticed something strange was going on, because you think things are weird now? Yeah, how about double the amount of times in a row I didn’t s

Yesterday, I went to Staines again! To start the shopping trip, I bought two toothbrushes. Not really worth mentioning (apart from then). After that though, I bought some new shoes as I only have one good pair of trainers left, and when they wear out, which will probably be soon, I don’t want to walk around with shoes with large holes in them obviously. There’s looking punk and then there’s looking in a very bad way. As I shopped, ‘Hey Ya’ by Outkast was playing on the radio.

Right! As I’m typing on a Friday, I have ANOTHER pointless doctor’s checkup, this time in the afternoon. What do I do in the meantime? Point out how pointless it is. I mean I’ve had another checkup just two weeks ago and when I asked for my blood test results afterwards, I was told I was fine, proving it was indeed pointless hyper mega extreme. I always get asked to complete a survey on my experiences with the healthcare providers, and this time I’ll have to say everything DI

Right, it’s time for another Matt and co. podcast themed blog! I’ve been watching his video with self-generated subtitles and for whatever reason, the captions point out when Matt is ‘snorting’. Sounds harmless enough, but what do you associate with snorting? Don’t worry, you can prove Matt doesn’t do drugs as he’s right there being filmed! Right? Sadly no, he sometimes snorts off camera. It’s probably nothing, but I’m just saying Matt complains about how stressful being a te

Last time I had a health checkup at my local doctor’s 6 or so months ago, I was told my next appointment would be in a year, so I was surprised to get a text telling me to get another checkup already. I phoned why I apparently needed one so soon and was told my last checkup wasn’t a full health test which is annoying, as a ‘full’ checkup in this case means I need to weigh myself and get my blood pressure taken. I couldn’t have done that stuff 6 months ago, it would be WAY too

This will be my 100th contest blog? Let’s do something special, then! What could it be? You’ll have to find out but for now, let’s get into Matt and co.’s school-based podcast! As always, I’ll be reviewing as the show goes on and I have no idea what will happen! Exciting stuff! Wow, the teachers begin the podcast by telling their names. I was completely wrong when I guessed, what was it? Joachim and Sebastien a while ago? Could have happened to anyone. Any foreigner, anyway.

How’s about this for a start to the new year: The petrol station meatball wraps are back! My favourite! I had one on Monday in fact, and it was as nice as ever. What happens when I get bored of them? Doesn’t matter, chicken slices are back, too. I’m getting a little tired of the chicken samosas I eat most mornings but maybe I’m expecting too much from a place that mainly sells petrol? I could ask for hash browns from the same place, but they take a good 3 and a half minutes t

To start the day yesterday, I got my daily petrol station foods. Nothing spectacular there for me, but tasty stuff and respect to the place for being open on new year’s day. Otherwise there could be countless stranded cars or at very least hungry people. Then I posted another year’s worth of shapes and THEN I ranked the 22 best albums of the year for Metal Rules. (Or at very least the 22 best albums I reviewed for the site). Why 22? Because I gave a good 20 albums 4.5/5 or ov

Here’s a chilling message I received a while ago, but only yesterday did I feel brave enough to confront… ‘To align with evolving industry standards for user transparency and consent, all publishers and CMPs are required to transition to the IAB Europe's Transparency and Consent Framework (TCF) v2.3 by February 28, 2026. Google’s systems can accept and process TCF v2.3 strings today. As such we recommend that you begin this transition well ahead of the deadline to avoid disru

As the title suggests, this is a depressing blog. It’s not as bad as tomorrow’s though, in that I’ll be talking about me trying to decode the gibberish instructions Adsense sent me. It’s so badly worded in fact, I don’t even have a clue what it’s about. To be fair though, I did only skim read it when I first got the message a while ago now, but that’s because Derren Brown teaches the power of the subconscious. In theory, skimming it should be enough. In his theory. I say ‘his

I’m typing on Boxing Day morning and at the moment there is less positive to say than negative. I’m kinda bored. I went shopping to get food and brown wrapping paper (the only kind they had) so I could wrap presents for my sister in law and youngest niece after running out of the stuff on Christmas eve. That went well at very least, especially as I got my dad to pay for everything. It is the season for giving but who to, that’s the question? Well, my dad was giving to me. To

On Christmas eve, I spilled water on a few of my CDs. Very annoying, but then I had the idea of washing the spines of some of the older ones and now they look as good as new! I thought they were beyond repair, cynical Simon! Even the sun damaged spines look a lot better now, merry Christmas! To start Christmas day I didn’t really do anything worth mentioning. I bought some rather standard petrol station food but I did splurge a little as it was Christmas (I got TWO sugary bun

Ah blog 555, or as Slipknot would say ‘If you’re 555, then I’m 666! >:(’ I however, am never 666, especially on Christmas. Deep down, I think the same is true for Slipknot. Anyway, to start the Christmas shopping day on the Tuesday, I had my monthly blood test. Not particularly festive but at the same time, it’s not really an issue. It is when I get told to have a second blood test, which I’m convinced is just to study me (how about mind your own business?) but at the time of