It’s time for another Matt & co. teacher themed podcast blog, now let’s go! Matt talks about getting his students to put on a live show, and after the show he thinks to himself ‘That was a lot of fun. It destroyed my mental health, but it was a lot of fun’. Sounds harmless? Maybe it is, but you know what also is so called ‘fun’ and destroys your mental health? Drugs. I’m not saying Matt is on drugs or is even prone to taking them, I’m just saying whilst Matt is in a good plac

England are about to play Panama in the world cup! Before that though, I’ll be talking about the pre-match talk and not only that, I’ll be listing the times things get said/the times where I make humorous observations! Hell, sometimes I may say things that come across as stupid, stay in school, kids. I’ll tell you what is smart, though: I won’t be saying ‘PM’ this time, but using the 24 hour clock! It’s that little bit more sophisticated, now let’s go! 20:58: I basically miss

Yesterday I went to Staines, partly to get a gift for my dad on father’s day, but mostly because I was bored out of my mind. I could have gone to Kingston to spice things up even more (it being the better town) but that’s for my birthday! In fact, A.I. says Kingston is 6 to 8 times larger than Staines (a bit vague for so called ‘artificial intelligence’, let’s pray it has nothing to do with making calculations for rockets), meaning my birthday shopping trip will be 6 to 8 tim

Today, (at the time of writing) England will be playing Croatia in the football world cup! Or rather the soccer world cup, I think it’s only fair to use that word as the competition is being held in America. I know this is coming from me, but you have to try and fit in don’t you? I think everyone in the audience should be forced to eat cheeseburgers and hotdogs, again to fit in. I mean it’s not hard is it? Tasty maybe. What was I doing earlier in the day? I wrote jokes for fi

Yesterday I went to get my car’s MOT sorted out! To start things off, I handed my previously written mobile phone number (how’s about that for organisation??) to the receptionist, but she didn’t take my number, she wrote it down for herself. On the one hand that suggests she doesn’t trust my handwriting, but on the plus side I could keep my phone number for myself. I guess as numbers go, it is aesthetically pleasing. It has a wide variety of digits, I mean. Would you believe

Simon: Right! Another 15 contests have passed since my last Ultimate Contest mega post, so it’s time to do another ultra blog and list the last 15 scores I gave to Matt’s podcasts. You can find the following scores on my Facebook Unsubscribe Tribe page, but no one visits it, so let’s justify the time I spent doing the following ratings now! To spice things up, we have a new guy on the Wiedemann Comedy scene, called The Homicidal Cheeseburger! HC: Thank you for having me. Simo

It’s time for another Matt and co. teacher themed podcast blog! Oh wow, they have 999 subscribers? Not only is that a palindrome AND the number for the emergency services in England, one more sub and they’ll get monetised! I also like the number because you can arrange it in any way you like and it will still end up being exactly the same, now let’s go! Oh wow, Matt compares another podcaster to God. Sounds like the ultimate compliment, but when the other teacher realises he

Simon: Oh no. I’ve received another Adsense message I don’t understand and that I have to (apparently) do something about, otherwise something (I don’t know what) may or may not happen to my site’s adverts. Last time it turned out I had to do nothing at all despite all that was said (and there was a lot of it), hopefully this time will be exactly the same, now let’s get stuck in. Rather worryingly it begins with gibberish straight away… Adsense: New signal for age-related com

Yesterday, I got my haircut! Have you ever heard of the bald man paradox where if you only lose one hair a day it’s far from going bald at all, suggesting that if the same thing happens for thousands of days you’re not going bald then either as the change is so slight, but at the same time you are? It’s hard to explain, of course it is, it’s a paradox. There’s a Youtube video about it, though. It’s not one of the best paradoxes as who notices losing a hair every day? You’d ha

This podcast starts off with the three teachers saying they’re standup comedians. When I was in school, it was the pupils who joked around whereas the teachers were serious, not the other way around. I joked around by climbing out of a (ground floor) window, I’ve never seen a teacher do that. The phrase ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ springs to mind. Well it usually would, I do trust THESE teachers and I’m not accusing them of climbing out of windows. But if ANOTHER teache

Ok, time for another Eurovision blog! Apparently this is my 10th one, but my site has only been running for 9 years. Not sure what’s going on there. Last year’s was the 9th, the year before that was the 8th, I can’t be bothered to look before that, it’s just annoying. Who knows, maybe the contest happened twice in a year one time? I’m a little surprised as usually I check things a lot. For example, when jotting down the 35 countries taking part in the event, I was told by a w

Yesterday, I went to Brooklands with my dad, brother, sister in law, two mini nieces and one nephew! Ok, ok, I did shave then BUT I rarely see my brother’s family on a Saturday, it’s usually Sunday and I shaved today. After leaving my car with my dad and meeting up with my brother’s family in the car park, we made our way to the show. It was admitted that no one knew where they were going, suggesting they were relying on the power of their subconscious to guide them. Derren B

Yep, I’ve been to Staines again. As I strongly suspected that this would be a short blog, I started the shopping trip by simply walking around an outlet I had no interest in for a few seconds, then leaving, just for the sake of material. What did the place sell? All sorts of things, including plates and luggage bags. Kind of weird, so I do think the following question is valid: What do you call such a shop? Perhaps more importantly, what made the shop so good it replaced anot

As you may have guessed, I visited the dentist yesterday. As always, I had a ‘hygiene session’ (a euphemism for around 10 minutes of relentless teeth scraping) and then a regular checkup not long after. I actually came up with the blog title before visiting the dentist (well some of it, I later improved it with alliteration). I just assumed it would be fitting, however, I actually assumed wrongly as you’ll soon find out. Before leaving for the place, I did have a few thoughts

Shortly after getting my monthly blood test out of the way on Wednesday, I got a very disturbing call from a nurse saying my white blood count was in the amber range, green being normal. However, I have been told the same thing approaching ten times now, and I’ve always been fine in then end. Between you and me, I don’t actually believe the nurse as you do seem to be given various mental ‘tests’ to see how you react, including being sent to the wrong place! Some handle the te

Earlier on today, I went to Hampton Court with my dad, brother, sister in law, nephew and two mini nieces! Now I know this sounds unbelievable, I don’t really believe it myself but I didn’t shave, today. I know right? I just had to get that out of the way first as I can’t believe it myself. Something must be going on, but for the love of God, what? On the drive there, I spotted a UVH numberplate! So what? Well… Uncle Van Halen! I’ve seen Eddie, Alex, now his uncle, now I’m on

It’s time for another Matt-based teacher themed podcast summary, now let’s go! Soon after the show starts, Matt says ‘there is no boundaries’… (obviously referring to school, I think we all get the point, now). I hate to sound petty, but it’s ‘there ARE no boundaries’! Yes, I am fairly confident about that, but at the same time whenever someone says a mistake, part of me worries that I’M the problem and even worse, I fear I have to relearn at least some of the English languag

Wow, against all reason I’ve been made king of Italy! It’s one hell of a responsibility, but I’ve made a serviceable pasta and I think that’s a good start. Next step, Ferraris and lasagnes for everyone! Long term readers will know I lied last year and said I was king of Spain as part of an April fools prank, but this time you can trust me. :P What if I wasn’t joking, though? King of Italy AND Spain?? THAT’S a busy job. Sombreros and tapas for all, along with the Italian food

What can I say? It’s been a boring month, the highlight of it being washing sands from Africa off my car. It was fun for a few seconds, then the novelty wore off and it was just another car wash, I guess I shouldn’t have got my hopes up. Not only that, I got one less hour of sleep today at the time of writing on a Sunday, as the clocks went forward. Not only am I tired, but even as a 37 year old I can’t work out whether clocks going forward gives you one hour less sleep or on

On Monday morning I washed my car because the weatherman said it would be coated in bits of sand, carried by winds all the way from the exotic Sahara desert, or something. My car wasn’t COVERED in sand or anything but then again, I wouldn’t really want it to be. It would be something that would stick in my mind which I guess would be a small benefit though, I just don’t want to drive looking like a weirdo. It was interesting when I saw Amish people whilst in America and I’m b