Bummer (Blog 25)

So, it’s Summer. The time of year when mosquitos steal your blood, and you’re left itching all day because they spit inside of you, in the process. The time of year when daylight robbery cases soar (as there is more daylight), and of course, the time of year when the sun comes out. Hooray, the heat! I don’t know about you, but hot weather makes me feel sluggish, and for want of a better word, gobshite. Many people don’t see the seasonal weather that way, however. For some, it’s the hotter the better; as in, ‘OMG, it’s 32 degrees out, today! Tomorrow it will be 35! If it gets any hotter, I will catch fire! :D’ I hate to say this, but the higher the number isn’t the better number on a thermometer, there is a limit. Some people seem to need to be told this, before it’s too late and they fry.

You know what else is bad about Summer? Its name. Say the word out loud; it’s a depressing word isn’t it? Summmeeerrrrr. The same goes for Autuuumn. WINter and Spring, on the other hand are cheerful sounding words. Fittingly, Winter is my favourite season but annoyingly, I prefer Autumn over Spring. That shatters my ‘mood of word matches mood of weather’ hypothesis. Not completely, however. Take the days of the week; everyone prefers the weekends over the first four working days, right? So, for the latter we have Monnnday… That’s a depressing word (or a DW), isn’t it? Then the equally dark Tuuuesday follows it, then Wednnnnesday (another DW), then Thuuuursady (a DW), but then Friday, however! Friday, the time when all tasks are finished with, that’s a happy sounding word isn’t it? Friiiiday! The same goes for Saturday. Sat; bright and snappy. Suuunday isn’t as light, but then again, unhappy thoughts of restarting the daily grind emerge, there.

Alright, is there anything good about Summer? I do like warm nights, I have to say. (Note I didn’t say ‘hot nights’). There’s just something about wearing a T-shirt in darkness that makes me feel happy inside. Is that it, then? Yeah, I think so. Other than maybe I’d prefer to do paint balling in conditions that are less muddy than in Win. I’ve seen some awful things, whilst paint balling; people getting shot in the leg at point blank range, people tripping over and losing all their ammo. Like Vietnam vets say, ‘you weren’t there, man’. You will never know the terror I feel at night, when I have those flashbacks. I’ve just realised I’ve gone off topic. I do apologise. I guess theme parks are better in the Sol, too, but what I’m trying to say is; ‘Sun…. don’t go crazy.’

Now, for the sake of balance, I will discuss what is exactly the same in the Summer and the rest of the seasons. Spilling water on keyboards is always annoying. As far as I know, the time of year doesn’t affect the danger of this. The ever-present risk of AIDS is always annoying. You don’t want AIDS. And lastly, disappointing, fake spam emails assuring you that you are millionaire are read all year round. Now to beef this paragraph up so it is roughly the same size as the others, I will go completely off topic and list the letters of the alphabet in alphabetical order: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y and Z. And now back in reverse…. Z, Y, X, W, V, U, T, S, R, Q, P, O, N, M, L, K, J, I, H, G, F, E, D, C, B, and A. That was easy.

To sum up; what’s the big deal? It’s hot, so what? If people really like that weather so much, they wouldn’t put so much effort into cooling down, would they? Ice creams, fans, air conditioners; are these the products used/consumed by people who REALLY like the heat? I’ll tell you what behaviour comes from people who do like the heat; wearing no sun cream, wearing jumpers or jackets, not jumping into a pool, when on fire. Well, the last one is a little extreme, but you see what I’m getting at, here. And don’t go around acting like then sun is your friend, it will only end up eating the Earth. If you’re still going on about how great it is at that time, there is something seriously wrong with you. Skin cancer will be the least of your worries. Ciao.