Buy my Book! (Blog 30)

So, I have my book! As I’m writing this blog, I’ve got my dad to do one final proof read, and then it will be available for sale! (Why aren’t I doing it? Because I’m sick of it!) I will be adding a link to buy ‘The Danger of Proverbs’, at the end of this entry. At first, it will just be available in physical form, but that is what I recommend you get, anyway. As Stewart Lee once said, ‘do you remember the good old times, when there were things?’ (I’m paraphrasing). If you’re like me, you’ll want to stroke it and marvel at it. That may sound weird, but maybe a little less, when you consider the effort I put into it. If you don’t want to indulge in such activities, you will have to wait a little longer, before you can get it on Kindle, for less money. Well, that’s unless I turn evil and charge ridiculously high prices. Only joking, I wouldn’t do that for ethical and obvious practical reasons. Don’t get me wrong, though, the option to charge my book for £2,000 is pretty alluring. I’ve watched The Hobbit, though. I know money corrupts.

Have I done anything funny over the last few days? Na. I’ve reviewed three albums for theindependentvoice.org, but I’m generally discouraged from joking around too much, on the site. At best, I find rare opportunities to be mildly humorous. I have to be honest, when I was first invited to write for the online magazine, I had high hopes of really letting loose. I wanted to write the kind of stuff found on my website’s joke review section. I guess I should stop acting like Sir George, huh? Don’t know what I mean? You will when you buy my book! (Or just hear about it, I would still be happy with that). Anyway, with The Independent Voice, I do have opportunities to be insightful, and that’s fun, too. For example, I have the chance to say things like ‘these people are almost as good as Deftones!’ Well, I haven’t really found the opportunity to say that. But I can dream, because that could well happen one day. Despite my restricted freedom, I do get to listen to lots of heavy metal, which is cool.

I’ve also been removing the unnecessary commas from One Screwy Week, but I’ve still got a lot to do. I really did go comma crazy with that book, in hindsight. You won’t be able to see that wackiness anymore, though, as I’ve updated my website’s book preview page. But I wouldn’t get your hopes up if, even I didn’t do so, anyway. Despite my use of the word ‘crazy’, reading my errors is nowhere near as exciting as I may have made it seem. Was doing all that editing funny? Nope. It was pretty dull, and had it not been for the music I played in the background, it may have drove me crazy. What saved my sanity even more, is the fact my CD collection is so awesome. I estimate I have a little over 600 albums! Finally, do I have any amusing anecdotes to tell about my writing? God, no. So let’s move on.

Ok, some time has passed, and my manuscript has been approved by my latest editor. Thus, you can now buy it online. Type in ‘The Danger of Proverbs’ into Amazon, and you should be able to find it, for the benevolent price of £7.50, if you’re in England, $10.41 if you’re in America, and 8.30 euros, if you’re in Africa. I mean Europe. As expected, publishing on Kindle isn’t the straightforward task I hoped it would be. I’ve submitted my PDF to the company, ( I think) and haven’t got any further than that. Whether my internet has crashed, or my computer is just doing something very time consuming, is something I do not know. All I have to go on, are the messages ‘just a moment, please’, and ‘in a few moments, you will find your book title in your KDP Bookshelf’. Well, which one is it? Do I have to wait a moment, or a few of them? Well, evidently, the latter. But I would have said ‘wait many, many moments’. Or rather, ‘hours’. I’ll let you know when my Kindle book is ready, byeeeeee.