Pub Quiz Fail (Blog 38)

So, I got invited to a pub in Hoxton by a fellow comedian. (And I went there). On the train journey to the place, I travelled passed Peckham, home of Derek and Rodney Trotter! Who knows what kind of shady deals were going on, just meters away from me? As my map reading skills are not so impressive, I gave myself a good one and a half hours to find the drinkery, once off of the transport. However, I reached my destination in around 30 minutes! That may sound admirable, but the walk back homewards only took around five minutes. But it’s good my memory was functioning. Back in the time of arrival and annoyingly, the pub didn’t open for another hour. Consequently, I had to act and appear like a well-off tramp, as I ate my newly bought chicken chow mein on the pavement. That was to the occasional sound of people screaming. I guess that’s London, for you. Eventually, the public house doors did indeed open, and it was nice to be in the presence of wonderful, soft furniture. Not long after, I met the jokesmith, gag artist, or whatever you want to call him.

For a few minutes, we got to know each other and we exchanged a few ideas. I gave him a printout of my six monologues and a copy of my book, ‘The Danger of Proverbs’. The former are to be performed on November the 1st. (That’s the plan, anyway). A sneaky idea of the stand up-er is to hide my scripts behind a book prop, just in case he forgets his lines, but no one is perfect. In fact, the manuscripts may work to his advantage. As people who read are generally perceived as more intelligent, maybe that would improve his self image, as he reads my ramblings of let’s face it, a bit of a weirdo. In return of my gifts, the performer gave me a Game of Thrones graphic novel and DVD. They were worth more than what I gave him, (I sell TDoP for the very reasonable £7.50) so when it came to value, I was winning. He also very kindly paid for a Jack Daniels and lemonade, after I drank my first one a little too quickly. But I was thirsty and intrigued as I’d never had Jack Daniels, before. It tasted kind of medicinal. So, here’s a thought… If Jack Daniels drank his product, would he be getting a taste of his own medicine?? #cheeseyjoke

Shortly after meeting, the pub event started: The Game of Thrones quiz. I was immediately in a bit of trouble, as I had never watched a single episode of the program. I had only recently found out what it’s about, and all I did know for sure, was the theme tune. Therefore, it may not come as a surprise to you, when I say I didn’t answer a single question correctly. I might have done, but unfortunately there was no opportunity to hum the music. If I was given the luxury of multiple choices, I could at least have guessed and treated the game as some kind of lottery, but in reality the best I could have hoped for was to go unnoticed. Sadly, that was impossible, as I more than audibly kept complaining that I didn’t have any clue what I was doing. It wasn’t long before everyone was given a break from the quizzing and I could hold my head up high and be just a normal pub-goer again. The mirth conjuror performed a short stand up routine, and the specialist questioning began again.

So I didn’t miss my last train home and end up stranded in London, I left the pub early and headed back. Yes, that was the time I walked a glorious, problem-free, five minute trek to the station. I didn’t even look at my map! (Not that I could have done, in the dark). What was even better, was the fact that I was just in time to catch BOTH of my trains! What a way to end a day! What were the journeys like? Very much like they were the first time round, but not as interesting, as I’d seen everything before. Did I see any whacky deals from Del Boy and co.? Nope. However, after recently checking out the worryingly high crime statistics for the Hoxton area, maybe if I ever head back there, I will see something more humorously rogue-ish. Or I’ll just get mugged. Not quite as funny, but it would be one hell of a story if Damien Trotter was the perpetrator. And I think that’s all from me. Byeeee!