Dentists, Lost Keys and Innovations (Blog 58)

So, it has been brought to my attention that I’ve been starting my blogs with ‘so’, a lot. Therefore, from now on I will be opening with ‘extremely’. Why? Well if you put the word ‘so’ into thesaurus.com, one of its synonyms is the new word I’ve just talked about. The website looks 100% legit and trustworthy, so I won’t think anything more about it. Extremely, last Monday I went to the dentists, for a checkup. After the poking of my teeth with a sharp metallic object and after an x-ray, I was told everything was all good! What a relief. The experience was far from extremely, extremely, I left the place feeling pretty good. In a small celebration I drank a wonderfully acidic ginger beer, not long after. I usually try not to consume too many sugary drinks, as I eat enough chocolate. I’m a potential medical time bomb, though hopefully my frequent exercising will defuse that bomb, extremely to speak. Extremely as not to be any more annoying, I will stop saying extremely, for now.

A day or so later, I lost my keys. It didn’t make any sense, where could they be? They weren’t in my bedroom or the kitchen, as I tore the places apart. I couldn’t have left them in my car, as how would I have opened the front door of my house I was already in? It was time for some surreal thinking. Could I have opened the entrance with my superhuman strength that I’ve been working on and not even realised it was locked? Probably not, but it was time to stop doubting myself. Success! Ok, it was evident I didn’t use any kind of oblivious brute force to enter my abode. As a kind of pride compromise, I found my keys not in my car, but hanging from the lock of my house door. Excellent! Cheerful use of punctuation aside, at the time my loss was FUCKING annoying.

On Friday, my computer stool I sit on succumbed to severe metal fatigue and one of its legs snapped. Not to worry though, I put the support in its natural position as if it never broke in the first place. Did my shoddy reparations work? Well, for the most part. However, I have nearly fallen on the floor about ten times now, as my seat keeps giving way. As I’m typing this right now, I’m playing a kind of chair Russian roulette, where every second is a risk. Never has sitting down been so exciting, since the last time I broke my chair. I’m thinking of patenting my stool and calling it ’Simon’s Risky Seat’. The advert could be like ‘working all day at home and never do anything interesting? That ends now!’ Something like that. My main concern is people suing me but come on, the advert is clear enough, right?

Other than finding things and breaking things in at least partially benefitting ways (who knows, the idea could REALLY take off), I’ve also been doing some music reviewing again. At the moment theindependentvoice.org’s album review section is completely dominated by me. It’s cool how I can see ‘review by Simon Wiedemann’ six times in a row and not any other site contributors. However, what tinges that elation with a bit of sadness is the fact a band member of a group I critiqued liked my article shared on Facebook. I only gave him two out of five and called his music bland and annoying. To be fair it was, but I did feel bad when he was so nice to me. And for now, that’s it! Tired of me saying ‘byeeeeee’, ‘byeyb’ or ‘byeyeyeyeyybeybeybyeyeybey!!!!!’, that’s ok. I will just say ’twice’, instead. (As in ‘bi’). Hope that’s good enough, twiceeeeeeee!