New(ish) CDs! (Blog 59)

I did my top 50 albums super blog a while ago now. Since then and over the past year, I have bought a number of classics that would have easily made it into my old top… I dunno… 30, maybe? That may not sound too exciting, but I have over 600 CDs, now. Therefore those albums would be in the top 5%. (That was me acing the mathematics, just there. I’m also very quick with my 2, 5 and 10 times table). :O I’m sorry, I believe that’s what psychologists call ‘compensatory narcissism’. I still have no paid work and it’s getting to me. :( However, that may change… Be positive, right?

Ok, (the new ‘so’, that is. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, read blog 58). Ok, in 10th place of the newly bought CD chart I’ve just decided to make, is ‘Make Yourself’ by Incubus. (Would it have made the old half-hundred? Na…)

Anyway, I got this one from a charity shop for just £1. I don’t understand why anyone would want to sell one of their precious albums (yes, all albums are precious), the concept of giving them away completely baffles me. M.Y.'s funky drum beats and funkyness in general is top class, further confounding me. Oh that syncopation.

In 9th is Tony Macalpine with ‘Concrete Gardens’. (Again, not really top 50 material).

This album is nowhere near as good as his masterpiece ‘Maximum Security’. (That one actually came in 10th in the prior superblog). But then again, no instrumental rock is or ever will be. In Concrete, you can expect jazz fusion ideas, with some really heavy 7 or maybe even 8 string guitars set to 100% distortion. That is some heavy jazz! (Or noisy jazz, depending on taste).

In 8th, Linkin Park also make a return with ‘Meteora’. (This album is kind of like ‘Hybrid Theory’, but not as good. No top 50).

This album is worth buying just for ‘Breaking the Habit’. The rest of the record however, is like their debut (that came in 24th) but a little worse, as explained. This album is incredibly easy to get into, but can get tiring if listened to too much. Perhaps more so than usual.

In 7th is Guthrie Govan’s ‘Erotic Cakes’. (Ohhhh, this was close in making the top 50).

One of the world’s most skilled guitar players (as made clear in my top 20 guitarists blog), however his music isn’t in that special 8%. (The top 50 of 600, to be clear. Is 8% right? Oh who cares). What do I recommend to him, if he is reading this highly informed and scientifically precise blog with hints of calculus? (As in using a calculator, right?) Make your song titles make sense! ‘Erotic Cakes’ and ’Ner Ner’? What are you on about??

In 6th, we have ‘By the Way’ by Red Hot Chilli Peppers. (Also the new 45th! Nitro Gods have now left last place. :( )

Another CD bought from the same charity shop. It’s also another funky CD, but this time with better songwriting. Someone out there really hates this kind of music, if this was from the Incubus owner. How can you give TWO albums away?? He didn’t even send the music as a present, showing he doesn’t want anyone close to him to hear it either. Come on. It’s not THAT bad.

In 5th is The Drums’s comeback ‘Abysmal Thoughts’. (The newer 45th! Sorry RHCP, you are now 46th. :( Still, it was nice while it lasted).

You know that (very) old rule where I said I didn’t allow two or more albums from one artist in the super chart? (No? Well you do now). Well, that rule has gone out of the window. Why? Because The Drums’s ‘Portamento’ came in a very respectable 11th, all those months ago… Yep, they have 11th AND 46th… I never thought that could ever happen. :O

In 4th place is ‘Smash’ by Offspring. (It’s time to skip a lot of places! The new 32nd!)

Punk! Apparently one of the best punk albums of all time! Smashing!!…. …. I’m… I’m sorry, I don’t… know what came over me… Never before have I made such a cheesy pun, without being ironic. (Yes, that old excuse). Er…. Let’s just move on… I said move on!!… GO! >:(

In 3rd is a reggae album??? Reggae called ‘Scientist Rids the World of the Evil Curse of the Vampires’, by Scientist?? (Against all odds, it’s the new 30th!)

Reggae?! Yep. Or rather ‘dub’. I’m not sure what the difference is. Anyway, even though the whole album only has 2 to 3 minutes of singing on, those 2 to 3 minutes are some of the finest melodies you’ll ever hear. Good things happen to those who wait. Trust me.

In a well deserved second is ‘Diary’ by Sunny Day Real Estate. (The new 18th).

Ok, the first song on this album is by far the best, making much of the album a bit of a disappointment. However, there are some other really good songs on this one. Interestingly, their song ‘fur’, no ‘phurto’?… No it’s ‘Pheurto Skeurto’ (whatever that means) uses the highly demented augmented chord. Get a keyboard and play ‘C, E and G#’ together. It will sound horrible. However, SDRE pull it off. Very clever.

…. And in a glorious 1st, is ‘Defenders of the Faith’ by Judas Priest! (This one makes it up all the way up to 10th place in my original listing. That makes it roughly in the top 1.7%!

As much as I think their just released album ‘Firepower’ is a cliched load of poo, ‘DotF’ is a metal masterpiece. It’s hard to imagine how some of the songs on this album could be improved. The song ‘Defenders of the Faith’ is a little simplistic, but I guess that’s part of its charm. Is that funny? Nope, but this is metal. Comedy and metal rarely goes together and for good reason. Heavy metal humour is often a little on the loony side. If you don’t believe me, check out Cranium’s music on Youtube. It’s stuff about killing people, sung in a girly voice, it’s quite bizarre.

And that’s the top 10 chart of albums bought in the last year or so! To sum up, if you’re new to Judas Priest, don’t listen to their latest album first or you will get the wrong first impressions. If you already have listened to it, DON’T hit your head hard against a brick wall to erase the memory from your brain. That would be very dangerous. (Although that was the first thing that came to mind. Then I thought of all the lawsuits, etc., once again). No, what you need to get is some form of hypnotherapy. But that’s if you have the money. Actually, on second thoughts, simply just listen to DotF or Screaming for Vengeance, ASAP. That’s all you have to do, I’m sure. Bye!