Punctured Tire... ... :O (Blog 60)

Ok, to start the (working) Thursday I added to my joke collection and after doing at least something, I thought I’d get myself some dinner. (Don’t worry, that wasn’t supposed to be interesting, things aren’t THAT dull for me. Well… Hm. Maybe). For a bit of a change, I intended to cycle to a cafe a few miles away. I quickly found my bike had a puncture. (Again, not supposed to be interesting). That was annoying, but I had a plan: Drive to and get something from Gourmet Burger Kitchen, instead - Yes, on a Thursday! As well all know, I usually go on a Friday. THAT was supposed to be (and was) interesting! The day felt like tomorrow, and my whole sense of time got messed with. I effectively got jet lag, but without the physical symptoms. I googled ‘immune to jet lag’ to find out what was going on and got no explanation. Needless to say, I was freaked out.

Whilst waiting for my milkshake, chips and onion rings in the restaurant, I came up with the idea to pop into the nearby bike shop. There, I could enquire about inner tubes. So I bought the right kind, I was told by the shop keeper (bike shop keeper to be super clear, not the chef) to note down the numbers on my tire. Not a problem, why would it be? A few minutes later I picked up my food and shake. After consuming them with huge respect in my home, I applied for some comedy work. Hopefully I would be doing some writing for an online magazine. Granted, a woman’s magazine, but that doesn’t matter. Anyone can write for it. I read through the site and it was funny, so what’s the problem? Funny is funny. However, I prepared a mental note insisting the runner of the page that I could offer absolutely no stories on child birth. Actually no, maybe I could wing it. Worth a try, right?

After all that, I finally got to work investigating my bike tire and noting its specifications. I drove to the bike shop once again. ‘No you haven’t given me the right numbers’, I was told. Not an issue, I wrote ALL of my tire’s specs down. ‘Ok, they’re the ones I’m looking for’, I heard soon enough. ‘So what valve has your bike got?’, I was asked… … … ’Oh for fuck’s sake!’, I thought to myself. ‘Errr…’ I thought and said. My confusion didn’t matter, however. It was explained to me that thicker tires usually had one type of valve and thinner tires had another. I had thick tires, so I bought the tube for those. Again, not an issue. So, success! I drove home with a sense of pride and optimism; what would cycling in this lovely warm (relatively warm I mean) weather be like? Once my bike was sorted, I cycled to the gym. I’ll tell you what the ride was like: Super. I do like warm (-ish, as explained) nights. Truly exceptional. My favourite.

A day passed, and I typed up yesterday’s events. After THAT, I cycled to the cafe as I originally planned. Was that worth writing about? Hmmm…. Well, I guess it made a change from the samosas and the chicken biryani I often buy at the local newsagents. Since the baguette place closed down, my diet has become somewhat less varied. When I got home I sorted through some emails for the online music magazine I’m helping out, and I tried to make that humorous in this entry. Several fruitless minutes passed. It was time to go nuclear and use all of my brainpower. I would find at least SOMETHING witty to say. I tensed up all my muscles, as if that would help. I put on the inspirational song ‘Eye of the Tiger’ and wore my sweatband. Then it came to me: ‘Music’ rhymes with ‘Moose sick’! (Partially). ‘Ohhhhh... Fuck.’ That’s the best I could do? Well, I guess all writers get stuck at some point. It’s fine, it’s fine. Whatever. I just went to the gym after that. Was that funny? NO! I needed a break from comedy… -_-

After that rehashing of old ‘I did nothing new/couldn’t think of anything’ material, I got back feeling very refreshed. Ahhhh. I’d recommend working out to literally everyone, I really would. After posting this blog, I’m planning to go to the shops and to get myself some chocolate (yep, the way I always do) and also some very low alcohol beer. (0.5%) Why? Well, after trying some, I noticed they make me feel very relaxed. I literally feel the same way drinking normal beer as I do the weaker version, I’m assuming just because they taste the same and I’m tricking my brain. What’s great is weaker beer doesn’t have the negative health effects as the more potent stuff, meaning I can pretty much drink as much as I like! :O Very cool. Alright, I’ll end things here, eeeeeeeeybybybybyb!