Home and Away and Shaving Foam (Blog 74)

What the hell is wrong with the characters in Home and Away? In every half an hour episode they all seem to be consistently serious. It’s really quite ridiculous, you’d think they’d lighten up every now and then. I get the feeling nothing can stop these people. Here are some potential, harmless scenarios that could happen in the drama and probably do: Someone loses some change as ominous music plays, and the cast later go ‘that must have been terrible for you, imagine if you did that a million times! You’d have no money left! How are you coping?’ Or someone misses a train in panic and to the soundtrack of death metal. They consequently arrive home half an hour late and miss the reality show ’Neighbours’. Their family then go ‘how did you make that feel? You’ve missed Harold unleashing bloodshed, again!’ (Yes, something similar once happened in the ‘neighbourly’ show). They then start to shed a tear with sympathy. Stop it! That’s not normal! In right society, the two situations would get laughed off, or at very worse the foolish people involved would get called ‘dicks’. Not the end of the world. You don’t need therapy for missing any kind of vehicle, but in Home and Away the police would probably get involved with straightjackets.

Many of the plots involve relationship breakups which is fine, but not really when you realise that no one could hold any grudges against anyone else as everyone’s so nice to each other all the time. God I’ve seen some weird breakups on that program: ‘You don’t care about me!’ ‘Yes I do!’ ‘I know, but it’s over!’ Well, I don’t know if they’re all like that. Maybe I need to watch the show more, but I can’t concentrate on it as it’s so strange. As far as I’m concerned, people could break up with each other simply because they forget to ask how the other person felt when they dropped their dinner on the floor. Ok, that’s probably just me.

Gillette shaving foam is also something I’ve been thinking about. The company claim their product is ‘the best a man can get’. How depressing would that be for children to hear? Many get told things such as when they grow up they’ll own a house, a car, etc., and they will be happy. Imagine if they later learn mere shaving foam is actually the best they have to hope for. No, that’s wouldn’t be depressing, that would be devastating. Fortunately however, Gillette is NOT the best a man can get. How about Papa John’s delicious stuffed crust pizza and go-karting? Not only are they superior in quality, PJ are obviously more honest than Gillette, shown in their slogan ‘Better Ingredients. Better Pizza’. The establishment doesn’t say ‘BEST ingredients. BEST pizza’ does it? I’m not sure Daytona Karts have a slogan, they probably have a FASTgan! I’m…. I’m sorry. Forgive my cheesy pun. (Was it a pun?) I’m going now. Don’t look at me!! >:(