Whaaat?? (Blog 78, Crazy Blog 2)

More football! Can I make my following material interesting, considering I’ve recently written two blogs about the same subject? Let’s have a try… I’m going to skip discussing the pre-match commentary as let’s be honest, I can’t be bothered with it. :( That’s partly because I’m in a bit of a rush writing this journal, as hours of queuing has taken up much of my post-game editing time. (And no, I’m not writing about something as boring as hanging around). So, to start things off, both side’s singing is truly terrible. No team seems to give a toss about their national anthems, and I’m kind of with them on that. But is not caring a sign of things to come? I can’t say now, but I can certainly reflect on that later. That will be something to look forward to. A guy called ‘Young’ just took a corner for England. Here’s a thought: Where did his surname originate? Was it a description of his appearance? I mean all people were young once, right? Surely it’s a name that could be given to anyone. Well, maybe he looked young for his age. Perhaps me bringing that up is indicative of how boring the match is, but it’s only just started. I’m sure there will be lots of action later. If not, it will come to penalties, which arguably are always pretty nerve-wracking.

Argh, Columbia almost scored a goal. Stop it. They may have nearly done so before without me noticing, because I’ve been busy typing this up and eating a tasty chicken caesar wrap. I didn’t want to get its sauce on my bed, so I had to concentrate hard on the food, not the sportsmanship. I’m often not listening so much to what the narrator says, rather his tone. For example ‘woooooooooah!’ Hard to ignore, right? (Well, hopefully)... ... I haven’t written much in a while apart from stuff about my food, which is a little troubling. I guess I have football fatigue as I’ve been watching games every day. Everything is like a leather ball-like blur, but I’m sure I’ll be nice and alert again when something cool/terrible happens. I mentioned in blog 76 the sarcastic crowd singing, possibly based on them not wanting to win the game, but this time I think it has a different cause. I think the fans are just as frustrated as me. The 1st half is over. Time to eat a small cake at this more appropriate time, when even less is going on. Well I don’t know, maybe the football discussion coming up will be wacky and oddball but I really doubt it. You know what, I’ve eaten too much sugary stuff recently. I’m going to electrocute the glucose the **** out of me with my Slendertone muscle building torture device. The pain it deals out means it’s working. Just need to charge it up… Ah. I’ve lost the charger... ... ... In fact, I’ve just missed the whole of the break as I looked for the thing. Well, I’m sure I didn’t miss anything Python-eque in entertainment quality.

The second half has been on for a while and I’m danger of completely ignoring it all, as I look for that electrical thingamajig. Forget it, I’ll look later. Ooh, a penalty is coming up for England. You can do it Kane! Yeeees! You’ve done it! Alright, alright, alright, I’ve changed my mind. Where the HELL is that charging b***ard? The power-driven abomination? Ohhh, this is doing my head in. I don’t mean to sound unpatriotic, but I kind of care more about it than the football. Am I going to just keep talking about me tearing apart my bedroom in desperation? No… I couldn’t… Could I? No, this is a one in a four year event, I have to experience it. Still though, it must be somewhere. I mean there’s lot’s of kicking about, headers and the occasional ‘woooooah’, but nothing TOO important. Time to go back to my search. Five minutes of extra time and it will all be over. Good for them. Ooh, Columbia almost scored but didn’t. At least I watched that, right? Ok, Columbia DID just score. I missed that. I guess I should write about the extra time, huh? Na, nothing happened.

Let’s just skip to penalties… Columbia: Goooooal!!!! :( England: Goooooaaaaallll!!!! :D Columbia: Goaaaalll!!!!! :( England: Goaaaaalll! :D Columbia: Goooooaaall!!! :( England: Attempt at goal saaaved. :( Columbia: Missed! :D England: Gooaaaal!!!! :D Columbia: Saved by Eng! :D England: Oh. My. God. Goal. I was NOT expecting that. The Eng have only won! It seems the sucky anthem singing mentioned in the first paragraph had nothing to do with not caring in general. Is this a crazy blog? You ****ing bet it it is. Blog 78, Crazy Blog 2! That section was easy to write about wasn’t it? (‘Gooooaaal!’) Am I becoming lazy? Wellll…. My writing was a form of laziness. Laziness that was the product of Slendertone frustration. Is there a word for that? Maybe I should make one. It wouldn’t be arrogant, Shakespeare did it ALL the time…. ‘Slendtion.’ Well whatevs… Ohhh, my dad had my charger. Double win! Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.