Noise Pollution Solution (Blog 83)

In a previous entry, I mentioned how I couldn’t find Green Day’s ‘American Idiot’ after a good two attempts. Well, in the end I found it at the local charity shop. I didn’t like it that much after all that, but it’s very welcome in my CD collection, as are all of my CDs. I do have a couple of records that stand out as particularly terrible, but then again they are rare at least. (For obvious reasons). However, ‘Idiot’ isn’t the CD I will be writing about, though it is related to my blog’s subject in more ways than one. Three, if you’re counting. Instead after that part-inspiring intro, I shall be writing about Green Day’s ‘Warning’, bought very recently at the same shop. Similarly, it’s a release that I’m not too much of a fan of compared to ‘Dookie’ at least, but am I glad I bought it or what!! If I didn’t buy it, a not long ago listened to Behemoth album would have remained in my hi-fi.

Why would that be a problem? Well, the other day I had a go at sleeping in my bedroom with the windows open, but the temperature was still too hot for me. Thus, I decided to sleep in a cooler downstairs room, as I lied on the sofa. However, I didn’t shut the windows as I left. That was an issue, because I also forgot to turn off my CD player alarm clock. When I woke up the next morning, I noticed that Green Day had been blasting out VERY loud to the whole street for about 25 minutes. Imagine if I had blasted out death metal!! Passers by and even police if was unlucky, would almost certainly have assumed I was sending out a very sinister message. ‘Oh no, Simon’s gone on a rampage’. It could have been worse, though. Behemoth may be heavy, but at least you can’t understand a word the ‘singer’ ‘sings’. Imagine if I had blasted out the very sweary Slipknot. But once again, only light rock music was heard. Maybe witnesses at the time were just thinking I was being fun, for whatever reason.

Alternatively, as I only gave a mini concert the one time, perhaps my neighbours quite rightly believed I made a simple mistake. That’s good. Or is it? What’s worse, noise pollution or coming across as an English idiot? Maybe it’s the latter. If so, perhaps I should continue forcing my LP collection on people, just to give the illusion that was my plan in the first place. But what music should I play? Power metal is too cheesy, doom metal is too depressing and progressive metal is too confusing. As local drivers would have their attention completely distracted by proggish odd time signatures, a huge pileup could be possible in response to Dream Theater. No, the music I’d have to play would be Iron Maiden, the band universally loved by all rock and metal fans and deep down, everyone. But then what and how long do I go on for? Unfortunately, I would have to blast out the heavy metal superstars every day for the rest of my life. That’s just how it goes. Oh, what’s that knocking on the door? ‘It’s the police!’, I hear? That’s no good, but I have an explanation, right? Well until next time… Byeeeeeeeeeee.