More Teeth and Food Highs and Lows (Blog 92, Weird Blog 1)

I’ve had a bit of time to kill over the last two days, so this is going to be a multi-day blog. Nothing crazy but that does need explaining because in the next paragraph, I say ‘today’, and by that I actually mean ‘yesterday’ at the time of posting on my site. Why should you read my work? I don’t mean to give you any spoilers, but teeth are involved as are burgers, but not from where you might expect. I’ve brought up GBK several times in my entries, but that fact doesn’t mean I got some food there, yesterday. (Or today from Thursday’s perspective). Actually no, forget that bracketed sentence, it’s weird. ‘That fact doesn’t mean I got some food there, yesterday’, is much better to read. Here comes what happened two days ago plus one. Get your thinking cap on, because the following is as confusing as f**k.

Ahhhhh. The £50 I thought I paid for my previous Friday’s dentist checkup wasn’t actually for my that, but the future (at the time) oral hygiene appointment that I had, today. (Yesterday). That’s a relief. If it cost that much money just for a few quick prods of my teeth, imagine how much it would cost for a whole mouth servicing. I’ll tell you how much I did actually pay for one: £50. That’s obvious now. I’d be lying if I said that my cleanup wasn’t painful, because there are few things worse than teeth torture, as far as I’m concerned. Ow. That was some super sharp-pained horror. But at least it was logical: Something gets rammed into a part of the body, you expect a certain amount of discomfort. What wasn’t so logical were the questions I got asked, last checkup that I should’ve brought up in my prior blog, but to be blunt, didn’t. (But at least me bringing them up in this blog isn’t completely random, right? Again, just weird). So, I got asked by the dentist if I was on any medication. I said yes, and then he asked me if I had any medical conditions. Few people take medications for fun but in his defence, I may have been in the minority. Who knows, right?

After all that business, I treated myself to a burger at a takeaway restaurant. The menu had words such as ‘gourmet’ on it, and the items were reasonably pricey, so the food had to be nice, right? Nope, it was nasty as hell, so I had to throw it on my roof when I got home. I didn’t give it to my dogs, because I didn’t want them to grow obese. That’s a fate that will have to be left for the birds. If you ever see or hear animals dropping from the sky because they’re too heavy to fly, that may be because of me. A half pound burger is a lot of meat for critters so small. Frustratingly, I could have so easily have spent my money on a half pound of meat that WAS from GBK, but you live and learn. Even the chips weren’t very good from the place I shall keep secret. I couldn’t even manage a few grams. All you have to do is cook potatoes for a while, what’s the problem they’re having there? Oh, never mind.

It’s tomorrow! (Or it’s today!) I’ll be getting a…. a….. Ok, I said I wouldn’t write any more about milkshakes. Many, many times in fact. Too many, even. However, I never said I wouldn’t write about the place I got the drinks from, did I? A great place, a great place. I may be getting the unmentionable product, but I will also be getting chips there, too. Don’t worry GBK, I won’t be saying YOUR chips suck, I know they don’t, I’ve had them before. What do I write about them, though?? Perhaps more importantly, how will I make the previous paragraphs readable? You won’t know this, but there was a time when they were even more bizarre. Anyway, what do I put more effort into? Writing style or chips? The age old question. I guess… Chips! Sorry if I sounded a bit all over the place then, but the stress of this blog is finally getting to me.

So, GBK chips. Chips, chips, chips. Mmm. Not to crunchy, not too sloppy. No condiments were needed to enhance their flavour, so they’re totally not getting the roof treatment to say the least. Having said that, the food I threw on you know where, yesterday (on Thursday) hasn’t been touched. It seems no one wants the stuff. What exactly was it that I took a few bites out of on the day after Wednesday? (Ok, I’ll stop mentioning the date, now). Did I eat nuclear radiation patty or something? That would be an outrage. No, I’m sure I didn’t. Please note I never mentioned where exactly I got my takeaway, because if I did, I’d get sued to f**k. Alright, that’s all from me, byeee!