Life Enhancement Guide (Blog 97)

What have I been doing over the last few days? Not a lot, just writing the ultra blog I mentioned not long ago and stuff like that. So let’s talk about something else. Something philosophical, here goes: Everyone at some point feels that their life is boring. However, it doesn’t have to be like that. I will force you to look at the world in completely different ways. In fact, you may want to cancel your next holiday after reading this entry, as you will also find eternal satisfaction for free, right where you are. Unfortunately however, you better know some music theory, or you’re going to get confused by some of the following. :(

So, here’s what to do, simply if you see a car number plate with a friend or two: You look at the last three letters and make a word out of them. ‘But that’s the TV show, ‘Countdown’!’ Yes, you’re right. Almost. The difference is, you have to use all the characters on the plate, whilst ‘filling in the gaps’ with other letters of your choice. They also have to be in the right order. E.g., if you see the letters ‘G, T, G’, you can make the word ‘getting’, but not ’tagging’.

‘That’s still kind of Countdown…’ Ok, ok. Here’s a more original number plate based game: As long as the last three letters are from A to G, you can make chords out of them. For example, if you see ‘A, C, E’, you shout ‘A minor’ and you win the point. (The A minor chord is made up of the notes, A, C and E, stay with me). However, the real fun is in the more advanced harmony. If you see ‘A, B, C’, you go ‘A minor add 9!’ and also get the glory. (A minor add 9 usually has the notes ‘A, C, E and B, but the E isn’t important, so it can be discarded). Or maybe if you see ‘D, E, G’, you can go ‘E minor 7 third inversion!’ Again, Em7 doesn’t need the ‘B’, and an inverted chord is a chord with its first note jumbled up. There’s a better way of putting that, but who cares.

What do you do if you only see two different notes? (E.g. ‘B, C, B’?) You point out the interval, (the distance between them) in that case a minor 2nd. If you only see one note, (e.g. ‘C, C, C’), all you have to do is say ‘C’ as quickly as possible. Ok, theory over! :D Is any of the preceding funny? Nope just informative, but again, so what. And please take care when playing the games as two or more people looking hard at registration numbers and discussing them can freak out the drivers. It is vital you don’t come across as undercover policemen or you will cause needless paranoia or even a dangerous, speedy getaway.

But what if you’re in the countryside miles away from any cars? Well, there’s an opportunity where you can pretend to be a giant. Notice the grass around you? Pretend they’re trees. If you do so, not only will you feel huge, you will feel so high up you will become ever so slightly dizzy. Trust me. Of course, unlike in the prior game the just discussed is more of a solo activity. You don’t want to come across as a weirdo. Unless you want to be left alone, maybe in the company of pesky school teachers on an outing or whatever.

What is there to do on a minor train station with little stimulus? Not a lot, we’re not living in the times of steam engines where the transportation looked epic and imposing. To get through the boring wait, you need an exceptionally good plan. However, the places aren’t for mucking about in. Imagine you’re a giant again and that the various ants are humans in fancy dress and you may fall onto the tracks. Yep, the dizziness thing again, seriously try it out at home. What you can do at stations however, is test out your time keeping abilities by counting to a minute with your eyes closed. Then you can look at the huge digital clock to check yourself.

Ok, one more: Doctors appointments. You can pretend you’re a doctor in a waiting room (perhaps by wearing a suit and giving thoughtful nods to any nurses you come across, I dunno), and once you’ve gained a fellow patient’s trust, you can give a concerned look when they sneeze or whatever. If you have a notepad and pen on you, you can scribble some stuff down as you look at your choice of victim. If you’re good, maybe you could shed a tear. No, too far. It’s certainly too far to pose as a doctor in his or her office. Don’t do that. Well not for long anyway. Just a little bit.

And that’s all from me! Back to ultra blog writing I guess. It’s more or less done, but proof reading 10,000 words is a bit of a task, if not a little boring. But in a good way. Bye!