Action in Acton (Blog 117)

Acting in Acton! Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? But were the comedy performances in the area of West London and in the Aeronaut pub/theatre, ‘ringing’? (That’s a new word invented or rather updated by me, meaning ‘good’. Sounds like it could be slang for ‘good’, right?) I guess so, they were very entertaining. The sound system was very loud, though. Had I not worn my trusty ear plugs, it would have coincidentally caused actual ringing in my ears. That is just a coincidence, though. As my mental health was in tip top condition I didn’t read too much into the links between the real and made up words. (If you don’t think that would be likely, think again). My healthiness was in part because I had consumed no caffeine in the bar earlier. I checked. Yes, me asking if drinks have the mild drug in them is somewhat of a catchphrase of mine. It’s not the best one out there, but it’s certainly better than ‘OH MY GOD THIS HAS CAFFEINE IN IT!!!’ which is something I have thankfully never said. Ok, like milkshakes, hot chocolate and Papa John’s, I will try to stop mentioning caffeine so much. However, if you were to analyse such topics, you can get a pretty good picture of what my life revolves around.

Anyway, the acting in Acton; let’s go more in depth. It was a mixture of standup routines, sketches and fun songs. To go along with the singing was a keyboardist, and the first thing he played was a glissando, by sliding his finger down the keys. I was thinking to myself ‘that is NOT a skill. Who’s paying this guy?’ It later turned out that he could play, however. That was a bit of a relief and a disappointment at the same time, if I was being honest. As Donald Trump featured in much of the material, xenophobes were discussed quite a lot. A performer asked the spectators if anyone was a racist, and I put my hand up as a joke. That was the kind of joke that could have ended VERY badly, but fortunately no one took it the wrong way, and believe me I checked. As far as I remember someone did say ‘yes’ somewhat more convincingly than me, but I may have imagined that. That was because I was concentrating hard on my hand drawn map I made to find and leave the place. As always, I didn’t want to miss the last train and get stranded. On the other hand, I may have been hallucinating for the first time in years, but I’m sure my lemonade wasn’t dodgy. (Whoops, there I go again). I think the former explanation is more accurate.

Interestingly, the intervals between the acts were also good. Lots of great bands were played through the speakers, including some music by Deftones. Their song ‘Digital Bath’, if you’re curious. By the looks on people’s faces, most hated it and I’m sure some vomited inside, but it’s nice to hear a little bit of metal in a public space. What else did I do in such times? More map checking, as well as wondering how many people got into to venue without paying. I certainly was never asked if I had a ticket on me. (Though to be fair I did show the waiter mine, but I’m not sure if he had anything to do with the productions). I also never saw anyone else show their passes to anyone, which is either good or bad. Either the staff thought all people in the theatre were delightful so and sos who would never rip anyone off, or alternatively the running of the place was simply lax as F**K. What else did I do during these times? I did a bit of wandering around, but not for too long. I didn’t want anyone to steal my special seat. The back of the room, and in the corner? So good.

As fun as the night was, I was very anxious to get home on time, as explained. As soon as everything was over, I made a somewhat rude though necessary exit. As I alternated between fast walking and jogging in the streets, I found that I remembered where the station was very well. Wow. Would you believe that my understanding of the three trains I had to get was also pretty good?… Not perfect, though… In fact not very good at all, now that I think about it. There we go. I forgot the fact that I had to get another two trains after leaving the first one. I thought I had to get one. That caused a few moments of mild peril, then I got reminded of what I had to do, by a late working staff member. I needed to get a train to Waterloo before my home town, to be specific. However, when the transport arrived on time, the announcer said it was going to Strawberry Hill! AARGH!!! On the carriage I said ‘IS THIS GOING TO WATERLOO???’ as I jammed the doors open to give myself more time. (Whoops, that was cheeky). A kind hearted passenger said to me ‘Aaah, that’s an interesting one, that…’ and I was unsurprisingly thinking ‘JUST SAY F**KING YES OR NO, I ONLY HAVE A COUPLE OF SECONDS!!!!’ Eventually as we all left, it was explained I was indeed on the correct transport despite the message, and I simply said ‘thank you’. From that moment on… Swish! Great success. And for the 117th time…. Byeeeee