More Eurovision! (Blog 136)

I previously wondered about what Eurovision might be like and stuff like that, now I will describe what has just happened in the contest performances. Well actually, I will be going on about the results and the TV schedule a lot more. That is because finding things to write about the acts as I did last blog was hard enough first time round. Writing a second helping about the same countries’ produce without repeating myself would be a lot more challenging. Basically, if you want to read about each small musical movie, check out blog 135.

Nevertheless, I did come up with something to say about the recitals. After an introduction to them that I wasn’t really paying attention to because I was eating a pizza, I soon heard host Graham Norton mentioning the fact the second song heard in the competition had never ended up winning. That didn’t surprise me as the clue’s in the the number itself. No. 2 = poo. If you think I’m being silly there, there was a mind reading act later on that explained that freedom of thought is an illusion. So ACTUALLY I was being deep. People were and have always been subconsciously influenced not to like the position. Yes the sub-mind is a favourite subject of mine. Deal with it.

About half way through the contest was my favourite nation, San Marino. Unfortunately the host kind of laughed at it, which I didn’t understand and it certainly dashed my hopes of the country winning. More importantly, my prediction of Marino's success was spat upon and consequently, my dream of becoming thought of as wise sage was over. Had Mr. Norton and the rest of the world gone mad to look down on the act? Are they just mad in general? Quite possibly, as how else did Australia enter Europe all of a sudden?

I’m going to stay on subject of Australia, for a bit. For one thing, they’re both a country AND a continent? They clearly want everything, don’t they? No wonder they want to be a part of other land masses too. For a second thing, if they had won, they’d apparently host in Europe next year, which disappointed me a little. I was hoping they’d host in India to be really random. Or even Antarctica to take it up a notch. Lastly, Australia hosting the European contest makes about as much sense as a vegetarian beef burger eating challenge. Ok, that’s literally all I have to say about the 26 mini gigs. Yes, I know I only mentioned two, and only in a way. Not as much as you may have expected. Whoops. :(

The results, then: I’m not sure why 'expert' independent music judges had a 50% say over the final votes. It kind of takes the fun out of the whole event because it’s removing power from the public. It’s also like someone else telling you what kind of food you should and shouldn’t like. Put simply it’s f***ing annoying. I kind of got the impression Iceland’s angry industrial metal number scored a decent amount of points, simply because it was different. Not because it was good. (Because it wasn’t. Well it was alright). If you want some real music of the genre, you should check out Rammstein. The band know how to put on a performance too. I for one would love to see some flamethrowers in the contest.

Because of the whole Brexit thing, I wasn’t surprised to see the UK didn’t do very well at all from the start (ultimately they came last, to be more specific). Would you like someone who left a party you hosted and said they didn’t want any more to do with you? It’s the same thing. I was surprised to see axe shredder Gus G announcing the votes from Greece, though. I never knew metal was so popular, there. He had his guitar and played some moderately difficult licks, but really he should have done a bit of sweep picking to be really impressive. I don’t mean to brag (much) but I could play what he played. Sweep picks however, are real b***ards and command respect from all that know of them.

Lastly, I thought it was funny how the program guide on my TV at first said the event would be running from 8 PM till 11:20 PM, then it said it would run late till 11:40, then till 12:05 AM. (In actuality, it finished at 10 past but that wasn’t mentioned on my tele, perhaps to avoid further embarrassment). How hard can it be to judge how long 26 songs, an interval and 52 votes goes on for? I would understand going a few minutes off schedule, but 50? In terms of structure, it’s not as if Eurovision was an impossible to predict football match. As hinted at earlier, the world truly has gone nuts. And that’s all from me! Byeeeee.