Comedy Contest 22 (Blog 150)

This contest has been one of the craziest, yet. Out of the 6 entrants, 5 have felonious tendencies. (If I was a psychiatrist, I’d genuinely have to do some research into comedy and criminality, because needless to say, that’s quite a lot). So, one stand up wants to be a drugged up OAP when she’s older - no it’s not just her body, that’s illegal to be very clear; one overtly claims to run people over in his car yet somehow remains free to this day (clearly the man isn’t just a clever comic, but an all round genius); one guy spent time in a police station; and one is just attracted to criminals. Not so bad, but that could lead to assisting an offender. Clearly however, crime doesn’t pay as the only law abiding entertainer was also the winner. She certainly wouldn’t have won if outrageousness was one of my scoring criteria, but at the end of the day, why would it be? Can you imagine if it was, and everyone kept trying to outdo each other by being as crazy as possible? That’s how poo-flinging GG Allin got famous. Not good.

So what did Ange chat about in her routine? Interestingly, she talks about how hard it is being fat. She points out that it takes much time and effort maintaining her figure, and that’s valid. Many people spend a great deal of hardship trying to be thin, but who would win in a fight? Ange or a small, skinny boy/girl. (Or indeed adult). Of course one would have to question the ethics of such a showdown, but only a madman would say the child/whatever would be the victor. Similarly, the heavyweight boxer Butter Bean may have looked out of shape, but he knocked many people out with what seemed like ease. Staying on the subject of fighting, when I was a young’n in karate class, I witnessed a match between a grown man and someone of my age at the time. The man kicked his ‘opponent’ and sent him flying. It was unusually harsh behaviour, though it was one of the funniest things I’ve seen in my life. Even so, I STILL would consider a match between Mrs. Pange and an infant ‘too far’. Go me.

The rest of her set is kind of X-rated, so I’ll leave it your imagination. Or alternatively watch her whole performance, here…

https://www.facebook.com/schoolofhardknockknocks/videos/348075552568238/

I’ll move onto a description of a lovely family walk that was executed a month ago, now. Well it never happened. But my father, brother, his fiancé, etc. did discuss the activity, and that was something. I decided not to blog about all that at the time not because it would be completely pointless, but because if you watched Ange’s video you’ll now believe me that half of it’s pure filth. Consequently, I’m desperate to tone it down with something more family friendly, so I saved the anecdote for here. So the walk talk: Basically the Wiedemann dynasty discussed how great it would be to take advantage of the sun. I don’t mean rip it off and steal from it, I’m fully aware that would be impossible, I mean appreciate it. Again, to be clear.

Ok, now I’m going to change the subject, just to beef this blog up: This may appear random to you, even for me, but it’s something that has been on my mind for over half of my life now. So I’ll finally get it off my chest: The Fishbone album ‘Give a Monkey a Brain and He’ll Swear He’s the Center of the Universe’. I don’t mean to annoy you, Fishbone, but monkeys do have brains. Even if you used the argument ‘no I mean a human brain. I’m trying to say humans are very self-centred’, you’d still be wrong. Monkeys are far more selfish than people are. If you think the animals go around donating to charity and helping old ladies cross the street, you’re deluded. Ok! Bye!