Fifty Favourite Tunes! (Blog 151, Superblog 8)

It’s my special 151st blog superblog! I’ve celebrated a similar event by writing about my favourite albums, now I will discuss my favourite songs. (That I have on CD). As I will only allow one piece per artist, the following list won’t be truly accurate, but it’s far more interesting than writing about Deftones song after Deftones song. The entries in last place I do like but I don’t LOVE them, but after the first three you’ll read about, you’ll be informed about the really good stuff. Hope you’re excited, let’s goooo!!!

COOL SONGS

50. Something to Believe in - Offspring

Not a bad ditty. Certainly better than their annoying one that goes ‘And all the girls say I’m pretty fly for a white guy! :D :D :D… :D’ As that was the first song I heard by the band, I assumed all others by them were a load of poo for many years. The punk equivalents of Vanilla’s ‘No Way, No Way’. How wrong I was.

49. Legions - Stratovarius

Talk about an epic chorus and an epic song in general. The solo is balls though. On the plus side, it’s an outstanding exercise in recognising what the minor scale sounds like at great speeds. Don’t knock it too much.

48. I Stand Alone - Godsmack

The most aggressive headbanger about social anxiety I’ve ever heard. Usually such neck-hurters are sad. It is a lot less threatening than most of the band’s works, though. No ‘f**k you’s are to be heard.

GETTING BETTER

47. Microwaved - Pitchshifter

Perhaps the most angry song in the world about cooking food. Only joking, I’m 100% sure it’s about (and against!) racism. Because you know… Microwaves and racism? That whole link, there…

46. Rapid Fire - Judas Priest

Pretty intense for a rocker released in 1980. Thrash before thrash with some of the most operatic though un-cheesy singing of all time. As for some of the solos: If you can’t speed pick like Mr. Malmsteen, just play legato. It sounds less scrappy/demented.

45. Now Your Ships are Burned - Yngwie Malmsteen

Strangely a pretty obscure Yngwie song. Well ‘pretty’ is a bad word for something about burning some guy’s ships, I’m assuming with people in them, though it does a have a calm section. As all arson victims are made to think, right?

44. Some Say the Devil is Dead - Cruachan

Not as epic as some of the songs before, but the chorus is first rate. Even though it’s anti-English. If it was pro-my country, I would probably claim it was my 43rd favourite song, at least. Only joking, I would never blog lie. Not just for you but for me. What happens if I do fib, and reread myself many years later, forgetting that I did? I would have to spend ages wondering ‘did that REALLY happen?’ Imagine if I lied about something big for a joke. Head f**k right? Not worth it is it?

43. Kickstand - Soundgarden

Owners of the PS1 game ‘Road Rash’ will be very familiar with this one. Short but sweet. Well sweet is a bad word for… Actually I don’t what this one’s about. Kicking a stand? Write what’s in your heart, I guess…

SUPER-COOL SONGS

42. Tera-Fied - Static X

Not exactly terrifying. More depressing. Or Dip-Ressin as SX might say. A very hip use of language. Go them.

41. The Cuckoo - Pentangle

With a name like ‘Cuckoo’ you know this folk song is a girly one, right? Yeah, well f**k it.

40. A Past and Future Secret - Blind Guardian

Interestingly, this one is kind of folky, too. When writing out this list, I thought it was just a rough guide, as you can never be exact about what your favourite melodies and such are, right? Well, maybe not. There’s something about this genre that is very early 40s.

39. Red Hot - Motley Crue

Unfortunately I don’t have ‘Live Wire’ on CD as that’s my favourite MC song. It has a great video where the performers dress up as girls but still look manly. It’s very interesting. But RH is a standout too.

38. Through Glass - Stone Sour

Ah SS, Corey Taylor from Slipknot’s side project. Well the two acts sound nothing like each other. It’s like Mick Hucknall starting a death metal band. Having said that, I do believe he used to be a punk singer, so maybe that’s not too strange either. As in ‘AND I LOVE THE THOUGHT OF GIVING HOPE TO YOU, MOTHERF**KER!!!’ I think all of us want to see/hear that, deep down.

37. A Design for Life - Manic Street Preachers

Usually when I write music reviews I complain that the melodies are too boring and do little more than go up and down the scale. However, this case is a special one. The vocals should be as dull as hell, but they just work. Much pondering and countless sleepless nights have been fruitless.

36. Morning Glory - Oasis

A fun classic with a fun video. In it, the musicians are kicking a football around the room of their flat and are having a great time. Very reckless, though. Really it should be an intense punk video.

35. Bad Day - R.E.M.

Not a black/doom metal song as you may be expecting. Paradoxically, this is one of the most upbeat out of the 50.

34. Breaking the Habit - Linkin Park

Not as rebellious as Judas Priest’s ‘Breaking the Law’ but it clearly isn’t supposed to be. It IS very tuneful, though.

ULTRA-COOL SONGS

33. Your Teeth in my Neck - Scientist

The best song on the dub (reggae basically) LP ‘Scientist Rids the World of the Evil Curse of the Vampires’, mostly because it has over ten seconds of singing in it. And my word is that singing awesome. (And by that I mean slightly creepy sounding).

32. Loud and Clear - Racer X

Speed metal at its finest! It may just be a blitzer about how sound travels (not exactly badass - pretty geeky actually) but the instrumentation is nice and crazy and the vocals don’t suck. (As they do in many early RX songs).

31. Comfortable Liar - Chevelle

I hate this piece of poo… -_- See what I did there.

30. Porcelain - Red Hot Chilli Peppers

Very calm for a band claiming to be ‘red hot’. ‘Warm soothing chocolates’ might be a more accurate band name.

29. Vicarious - Tool

Of course this one’s good, it’s by Tool. They take about 50 years to record a single album. Their upcoming one better be good as it’s been delayed at least three times and for not short periods, either. If it sucks, singer Maynard James Keenan needs to give up his wine making business and go back to what’s important. Hopefully he won’t drink too much of his goods as there’s nothing worse than seeing a singer drunk on stage, especially one who attempts martial arts moves the way he does.

28. On Most Surfaces - The Gathering

See Stratovarius, there’s no shame in playing guitar solos with under a million notes, check out The Gathering… But here’s some advice for the goth metal band in question: Use more notes! Your solos are as dull as f**k.

27. Kings and Queens - Aerosmith

Oh if only this song was my favourite. It would be the king. As explained however, it’s bad practice to lie in blogs, so I won’t say it is my fave. Fiction is what stories are for. Or are they based on reality, too?? :S

26. Believer - Ozzy Osbourne

This one is very eerie sounding, which is something you might expect coming from someone who used to be off his face 24/7. Constant drugs do funny things to the brain, I’m sure.

25. Owner of a Lonely Heart - Yes

Ironically, this is the least lonely song in this entry. It’s bang in the middle, surrounded by many others. You couldn’t make it up, right? I love irony.

To celebrate this midpoint section, let’s have a fun interview with myself!

Simon: Hello, it’s been a while! Ready to get questioned?

Simon: Go for it.

Simon: What’s your favourite song?

Simon: No, no. What’s YOUR favourite song?

Simon: Cheeky. You’ll have to wait/skip to the end.

Simon: No.

Simon: You can’t be bother to skip?

Simon: My mouse doesn’t work very well.

Simon: That’s a lie and you know it. You’ve just started using a fresh one, today.

Simon: And the way its wheel spins to move the page feels so good…

Simon: So why not skip?

Simon: I don’t want to wear out the wheel.

Simon: Just move the page down with the buttons…

Simon: It’s not the same.

Simon: You really can’t be bothered to click then?

Simon: Nope.

Simon: Are you feeling well?

Simon: No…

Simon: Ah. I’ll move onto another question then. What’s your second favourite song?

Simon: Well that’s not AS bad as the first question, but it still sucks.

Simon: Come on, it’s not THAT terrible just to move your finger… You sound like you’re feeling awful?

Simon: Yeah.

Simon: Well I feel great.

Simon: Do you realise how crazy that sounds?

Simon: Yeah. Well. Anyway, next question: What’s with the lack of thrash metal and such on the list?

Simon: I don’t know. I guess I’ve matured with age. I still like the genre, though.

Simon: Excellent. You’re not grandad Simon, yet.

Simon: Right.

Simon: Are there any songs on the list you wish you added in hindsight?

Simon: I should have added ‘Go With the Flow’ by Queens of the Stone Age, a Taproot song and ‘Duel’ by Swervedriver.

Simon: Why not change the list?

Simon: Can’t be bothered.

Simon: Neither can I. I guess I’m like you, huh!

Simon: We’re more similar than you realise.

Simon: Agreed. Bye!

24. Sign of the Cross - Iron Maiden

This case would be ranked a lot higher if the instrumental middle section wasn’t so painfully monotonous in places. The singing however, is first class.

IMPOSSIBLE TO CRITICISE SONGS

23. Princess of the Night - Saxon

A magnum opus about trains! Pretty dumb, right? I know I just said this and the following can’t be faulted, but just ignore the words and listen to the music. That’s what I do and I stick by my ranking.

22. Stars - Lacuna Coil

A creepy song about looking at stars. I like looking at stars. Now I feel creepy, too. Again.

21. Back to Back - Hammerfall

The most nonchalant (kind of) singing about war I’ve ever heard. It’s kind of inappropriate really, but hey. As it’s based in the past, it’s not so bad. A laid back song about recent conflicts could only be described as deranged.

20. Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana

What does teen spirit smell like? And what exactly is teen spirit? I for one, don’t know. Which is probably why the lyrics here mean nothing to me.

19. Achilles Last Stand - Led Zeppelin

The 70s were a different time. Back then f**k-ups were not only ignored they seemed to be have been embraced. Jimmy Page clearly messes up his solo, here. Computers these days would be on to those slight imperfections like they were the plague. Don’t worry youngsters, they’re NOT. Actually they’re quite harmless.

18. There is a Light that Never goes out - The Smiths

A pop piece that defies the laws of physics. Everything comes to an end eventually, right? I wonder if Stephen Hawking ever heard this song. If so, what did he think of it?? Maybe he never listened to it the whole way through because it’s kind of wussy from the start. Shame.

17. Take It - Staind

This song is from the first album I ever bought from a charity shop. It was such a great experience I had to buy many more releases from the same places. For 33p or even less each?? Not great business as I’d happily pay a few pounds for a product in good condition, but I guess it’s not up to me. (It so should be, what are the establishment’s goals? Buy a few penny sweets for the needy? Don’t you think that’s insulting?)

16. A Praise Chorus - Jimmy Eat World

Call me paranoid, but is a there a hidden message, here? Look at the title and the band name… ‘A PC (politically correct) Jew? Why in this day and age do people have to be covert about being Jewish? Damn nazis, spoiling everything. Just say you’re culturally sensitive, religious and proud!

GODLIKE SONGS

15. Weak and Powerless - A Perfect Circle

First rate irony here, as I think this is Maynard James Keenan’s strongest work. (Yes, this is his side project).

14. Alter Mann - Rammstein

It’s a shame these people write their lyrics in German because they’re often pretty good, as is the case here. It’s not like death metal, where I don’t care what the frontmen say, as it’s always ‘kill, kill, chainsaw kill’ or ‘hammer kill’ or ‘spade kill’ or whatever. If you check out the translations like I did, you’ll find Rammstein are actually quite poetic.

13. Peace - Senser

No enigmatic naming here that can potentially drive you crazy, this one is plain peaceful. There are no codes in the lyrics either… Actually, P.S.? As in the extra part you get in letters? Hmmm, I think that means… No, I’ll leave it.

12. Would? - Alice In Chains

I once asked myself why this tune was my favourite on the album ‘Dirt’. It may simply be because the vocals have reverb on it and the others don’t. I do like reverb. So there you have it. Not exactly a great reason to love a melody and all that, but it gets a hugely respectable 12th place anyway.

11. Once - Pearl Jam

What ever happened to the PJ (or pyjamas if you’re being fun) singer Eddie Vedder? He started off singing classics like this then ‘progressed’ onto singing along to a solo ukulele of all instruments. Imagine Black Sabbath vocalist Ozzy Osbourne starting out all metal, then writing banjo music all of a sudden. It’s basically the same.

10. Little Fury Things - Dinosaur Jr.

Lftdjr. That’s not a word or a phrase. Let’s Google it to make sure… There are some results but I don’t know what they mean. Never mind, a great song, despite the kind of weird production. I guess it’s not SUPER raw, though…

ACTUAL GOD SONGS

9. Everlong - Foo Fighters

A masterpiece from a band who’s name is kinda silly sounding. What kind of a word is ‘foo’? I eventually learned that foo fighters were strange balls of light or whatever that second world war pilots saw, but many people don’t know that. They probably think FF means a couple of old grannies beating each other up.

8. I Want to be Adored - Stone Roses

Iwtbasr. Pretty self-explanatory really.

7. The Pod - Hum

Ok bear with me, I think I’ve found some insight into the name and band title: 7 starts with ’S’, right? Then we have ’T’, ‘P’, and ‘H’, making ’Stph’. Something to do with Stephanie.

6. Scarborough Fair - Simon and Garfunkel

The lyrics here are just so beautiful. I don’t think I can control myself. I’m not crying, just got something in my e…. Bahahahahahaaaaaaa :’(

5. Seven - Sunny Day Real Estate

57. As in Heinz 57. The tomato sauce song.

4. Shoot the Sun Down - The Drums

The Drums have gone mad! You can’t shoot the sun down, we’ll all die! This should be a death metal wigout, but it’s dreamy pop! I’ve never been so confused since a few sentences ago.

3. Girl Gone Bad - Van Halen

I heard this one waaay back when I was 13, making it the oldest favourite song on the list! It still totally kicks bum! And that is one weird and creative intro chord progression.

2. Scarf Bitch - Team Sleep

I can’t believe this is a demo that never made it onto TS’s only studio album! It would have been the best piece on it! Even better than ‘Elizabeth!’ Fittingly the words ‘Scarf Bitch’ never actually feature in the song, so there is some twisted consistency, there. About the lyrics… Could mean anything but I don’t think they’re misogynistic. Such music is usually hateful, but this is suuuuper chill. I think the title is just harmless slang. For example: ‘Look at that scarf, bitch, it’s bangin’.’ ‘Hang on… You said you’ll only write about songs you own…’ Yeah, well as explained I should own it. If you’re a purist however, just imagine I wrote that ’Elizabeth’ is my 2nd fave.

….

……..

THE BEST SONG IN THE UNIVERSE, EVER

1. Knife Party - Deftones

My favourite number since I was 18! It’s been reigning supreme for 13 years! Unlucky for some, but not for me. Unless I have a heart attack whilst typing this up…. hgfhgf .gfdgfdg gfdgfdh ……….. Nope, just pretending to have a heart attack! Bye!