Acton Part 4! (Blog 159)

Yesterday was a bit of a special day, as it was the first time I had one of my sketches performed at a comedy gig. To be precise it was performed in the Aeronaut in Acton. Historically that has been a bit of a tricky place to get to, but as it was my fourth time in the area, I assumed getting there wouldn’t be too much of a problem. Especially as the last time I went there was just a couple of months ago. As I left the house, I had to check the door was shut around twenty times by pushing it (no joke) as I surely have OCD. (If I don’t, people who do are kind of screwed). A few years ago, I saw on a program a woman complaining that she couldn’t leave the house, as she couldn’t stop thinking about putting people in bins. (Again, no joke). I was thinking ‘just put someone in a bin for God’s sake, it would be funny if anything’. My problems are worse and it should have been me on the program. No not really, the person who was on it was clearly quite a character.

The early part of the journey could have gone better as I missed one of the trains. Yep, because after leaving one, I waited around on the same platform that was also the WRONG platform. That really shouldn’t have happened as there were only two to choose from. Surely the train I needed was on the other platform, as if it wasn’t there would be no point changing trains in the first place. Not to worry though, I gave myself plenty of time for my journey, and no other vehicles gave me problems. As I left the final one to walk to the venue, it was raining. I didn’t want to damage my skilfully made, hand-drawn map, so I just put it in my pocket. (I was so proud of it, I actually showed it to some guy riding on the tracks by nodding at it. To be honest, I don’t really know what I was thinking. It did pass the time, though. Why didn’t I mention that mini anecdote earlier on in the blog in a more logical position? Well, as you might expect I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to admit doing that. Might make me look strange).

Anyway, I assumed I didn’t need my map because it was my fourth time in the town as explained. But to cut a long story short, that wasn’t the case. I bet you were expecting that, right? Never mind. As I got to the theatre restaurant, I had an opportunity to write some notes, as I brought a pen and paper with me. I didn’t jot anything down though, as it was crowded and it would be rude. Especially as I was conversing with people as I ate my burger. It would be saying ‘I do like your company, but my dumbass stories about confusing people are more important.’ Pretty cutting, right? Again, I wasn’t even sure such tales were worth mentioning. Ouch. Similarly, I didn’t make notes during the standup performances later on as that would be even worse. Not only would that be disrespectful, it could also make the performers uneasy. I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but I often laugh at what I write. How would it come across if I chuckled to myself during the performances as I wrote? It would very likely seem I was saying the comedians completely sucked. And you have to think how that would effect the actors; would you think watching someone very angry was entertaining? Nope, a ruined day for sure.

I didn’t make notes and giggle as I watched my sketch called ‘Limited Polygons’ get performed, either. I didn’t want to come across as a massive bighead. Furthermore, imagine if I ONLY laughed during my sketch. Eek. Anyway, I was very pleased with its execution; always nice to get some laughs, right? Earlier on this year I was told it had one of the best dick jokes heard in a while by the London Comedy Writers, in fact. Yeah. Further on in the evening, I heard one of the standup comedians talk about urinary tract infections and how they affected the vagina. I was thinking ‘is she sure? I had a urinary tract infection once’. Such a comment was alarming for someone of my gender and quite distracting, too. Even so, I did my best to pay attention to everything, and I moslty pulled it off. Excellent.

Soon enough the event was over and it was time to go home. I could have written up my notes on the train again, but whilst that wouldn’t be rude, it may make me look like a dick to some people, which would be worse. ‘Who’s that idiot student writing an essay with a pen? He’s DEFINITELY going to fail’. Or maybe they would be like ‘who’s that pretentious moron writing poetry? I bet it’s about killing people. He’s wearing a hoodie, he’s going to kill someone’. Very unfair, right? Hurtful in fact. I didn’t even have my hood up, which is the funny thing. That was the day, basically. Sorry for talking about the journey again. I’m not 100% sure you’ll care, but it was worth a try. Also sorry to Sam Clarke for stealing his thunder by publishing two blogs in one day. I guess check the last blog out. Bye!