That Facebook Comedy Contest I’ve Been Running, Part 24 (Blog 158)

You know when I said that crime doesn’t pay two months ago, as the only standup comedian I reviewed that wasn’t a criminal won?… Well this time the winner, Sam Clarke, once killed a guy, I assume by running him over. What I do know is that the man drove back to his house to wash the blood of his car. Without anyone stopping him? Surely this guy’s charisma levels are through the roof. Only the most charming person in the world could get away with what he did with his surely many witnesses. It should come as no surprise when I did in fact rate his charisma levels as very good, but that was mostly because of his confidence, not his apparent psychopathic tendencies. So don’t be scared. If a comedian said ‘I killed a guy with brick’ and he wasn’t funny, I would NOT give him a high score. I would only if he was. No only joking. I think the trick is to say you kill people, but not actually do it. In fact, I’m sure that’s what it is. So here’s a tip for aspiring comics: Don’t commit any felonies. Let’s be VERY clear. Unless you want to perform in prison fun days, which I believe do happen.

Apparently this performer has anger issues as well as being homicidal. Personally I find murderers with anger problems the most frightening murderers of all. Oh yeah, it’s just an act. Unless the police in Australia, where Sam comes from are even more overworked than they are in England. But even so, if someone admitted to committing a serious crime, SURELY the police aren’t so badly funded they wouldn’t have the resources to arrest the perpetrator. Or maybe Sam’s free because he’s so overtly criminal, no one believes what he says. After all, would you believe someone if they claimed they shot a load of pedestrians and then put the anecdote in a comedy routine in front of dozens of people? Why don’t you have a look at Mr. Clarke in action and decide if YOU think he’s dangerously insane…

https://www.facebook.com/schoolofhardknockknocks/videos/318073532436845/

Now to beef this blog up, this time in a less strange way than previously: Another comic this month was saying that people who believe the world is flat are totally crazy. But let’s stand up for the Flat Earthers a little. I mean some of the Earth is flat. Such as salt flats. My question is, what would a scientist say when he’s on a very large runway? Would he say it’s bendy? Of course not, and even if he did, that would just show how close minded and indifferent to hard facts HE is. Just remember that. Yes, not ALL the world is flat, that has been proven with satellites and with centuries old boat journeys, but you know what the internet is like with its mass of misinformation. Who really knows what to believe? The moral of this blog? Act reasonably. Like I do. Bye!

(P.S., stay tuned for an Acton based blog, soon!)