Extreme Teeth Cleaning (Blog 160)

I hate to bring up something as dull as journeys again, but my travels to the dentist are worth mentioning because they were so annoying. Again. Well they were a bit annoying. Nowhere near annoying as the pain I felt when getting my teeth cleaned. (Well, maybe my pain was worse than annoying, it was very uncomfortable. In a more extreme example, would you call a slipped disc merely annoying? Probably not). Anyway, my journey was annoying because I planned a different route beforehand, because of roadworks that had been going on for weeks. However, turns out that was a waste of time because on the day of my appointment they were finished. Ok, when I said I planned a different route, it was only about a minute longer but still, I technically did put some time into my plans. Just not a lot. Ok that wasn’t worth mentioning, was it? Once more, I apologise.

As I arrived to my destination so early (yep, damn lack of roadworks) I had plenty of time to visit a charity shop and buy two DVDs. One was The Shawshank Redemption and one was a film I’ve never heard of. Why bring that up? Well, I’ll explain later. The reason isn’t particularly interesting, but so what? After a lot of sitting around in the waiting room, I was called into the operating theatre. Soon my Shawshank DVD was discussed. (There you go, I hope you didn’t wait too long and lose interest). Apparently it is very good. The dentist asked me if I’d seen Pulp Fiction. I wondered why he brought that up. Did he want to subtly imply he was going to go ‘Medieval’ on me, the way the gangsters in the film did on their enemies? Quite possibly. As mentioned earlier, my hygiene procedure wasn’t much fun.

I had hope, though. Once my suffering was over, I was going to get a chocolate milkshake. Fridays are milkshake days, as you may know. Digging my nails into my hands seemed to help me cope, too. That’s a bit of a paradox, isn’t it? Why would more pain help with pain? I wonder if people who have been shot get their more severe symptoms relieved with more intense methods. Do such victims get struck hard with baseball bats? I’m not saying I hope they do, but I am saying that would be a funny concept. But logical, as just explained. I’m sure morphine is a more typical painkiller, though I think it’s more dangerous. So maybe bats have their place in hospitals? Just a thought.

Once everything was over, I asked the dentist if mouthwashes cause stained teeth. He said some do, and he asked what product I used. I said ‘Listerine’. Apparently that brand is completely fine, so my brown stains came about naturally. Damn. Just when I thought there were better options for me, and just when I thought it wasn’t my fault my teeth were so mangy. Not to worry though, the marks were removed. More importantly, despite my frequent dreams of my teeth falling out, it seems they are fixed in place perfectly well. Stupid, nonsensical dreams. Alright, that’s all I can think to say, other than candy floss grapes literally taste of candy floss. They’re strongly recommended; I’m sure I’ll blog about them soon. Byeee!