Brother’s Baby’s Birthday Bash (Blog 161)

I went into Staines yesterday, to get my brother’s baby girl a birthday present. Fortunately, one year olds are very easy to buy for, as typical gifts for them are kind of rubbish and have little entertainment value. (At least for me). Unfortunately however, the toy shop I wanted to go to was closed. So I thought to myself ‘screw the present, I’m going home’. No only joking, that would bad uncle Simon. >:( I went into the Boots next door to ask when/if the shop I was interested in would open. Luckily, one of the first things I saw in the health store was an adorable teddy bear. So I bought that. It wasn’t bad quality either which is very important - a teddy bear falling apart could be traumatic for someone so young. Like watching a soft zombie movie.

As I was in the area, I thought I might as well treat myself to some new trousers, too. They were quite necessary as my dog mangled one of my old ones. It wouldn’t be so bad if it had a go at the trouser legs, but it didn’t. Put simply, I’d get arrested if I left the house with my clothes in their current condition. And not only that, it ate one of my trousers with ZIPS. I prize those kind of clothes very much. Damn trains seats easily make things fall out, and you have to think of pickpockets, too. ‘But they’re easy to spot - they wear rags and speak in a Victorian accent’. That’s what I thought as well, but apparently they look like everyone else. Just shiftier.

I also got a hot chocolate and cream, which certainly wasn’t necessary - they’re actually kind of bad for you. This time however, I got a medium sized one, instead of a small. But when it arrived, I had no intention of drinking all of it. ‘What do you mean?’ I mean, I’m all about the cream. There was loads of it, and it was delicious. Once there was no more of the stuff to mix with the main drink, I left the establishment, not 100% full but fully satisfied. Then I got a Subway, which I would eat when I got home as I watched a TV program. It wasn’t interesting, but apparently the frame rates on teles have a calming effect on the brain. I’m not going to go into that, because I don’t understand the science myself.

After fooding, I had a bit of time to kill. I could have done some work but to be frank, I didn’t want to. I need a break every now and then, as does everybody. I’m not living in one of those wack job countries where you can take a day off just because you feel like it and still get paid, (yes they exist), I’m in England. :( However, I’m self employed so it’s my rules anyway. So what did I do to pass the time? I went to the gym; to burn off the evil sugar and in the hope I can one day go Bruce Lee on rival bloggers. No only joking. When I got home for a second time, I waited for my brother to give my dad a call and to tell him when to leave our house for his. Annoyingly he was a bit late in doing so. I was praying I wouldn’t have to write an entry called ‘2 in 161’. If you don’t know what I mean by that, sorry but I don’t want to talk about it. It’s too sad.

Round my brother’s house, I was quickly offered some chocolate cake. But evil sugar, right? I was in a health-pickle. I was told it would be the nicest cake I’d ever eaten, so I thought ‘screw it’ and I ate a slice. WAS it the best cake I’d ever eaten? Nope. I wanted to suggest superior Belgian chocolates to my brother’s family, but I didn’t out of politeness. What I was really looking forward too, was giving my present to you know who. I didn’t get a thank you, but that’s babies for you - they can’t speak. So it’s fine. I could have given a card to her as well, but would that be an act of kindness or a form of abuse? Well I guess only if I tried to make her read it. And I wouldn’t do that. Too far.

After all that business, lots of family talking about my bother’s upcoming wedding and such went on. Quite frankly it wasn’t worth writing about, and if I did jot down talks of suits, travelling, venues, etc., here (in detail), it would probably be a violation of privacy. Boring (because they mainly didn’t involve me) violations - a double whammy. Later on, other baby toys were discussed and demonstrated. One of them was a huge plastic train with a clock on it. But the clock wasn’t powered by batteries, so it didn’t actually do anything. On the plus side, you could move the hands but still, a clock where you have to manhandle its parts for it to tell the time is pretty pointless, if not totally dumb. But again, I kept my mouth shut.

Towards the end of the outing, (well outing for me) the subject of music came up, and I said how much I like N.E.R.D. (In particular, ‘Jump’ is flat out amazing, but tragically I couldn’t spread the word about it, as I didn’t know the song title at the time. I guess some people will just have to remain musically deprived). When my brother’s fiancé said she didn’t know any of the band’s stuff I said ‘what about ‘Happy’?’ Ohhh how embarrassing. That was by Pharrell’s solo project. I was close though, Pharrell does sing for N.E.R.D., too. Unfortunately I didn’t point that out at the time. Anyway, that was the celebration for me and my dad basically, so we went home. So… bye!