Contest 109! (Blog 603)
It’s time for another teacher-based podcast, featuring star guest Matt, one other regular and one new guy, now let’s go! The teachers start pretty much right away by talking about how stressed they feel. I feel stress, too. Not because I feel pressured to write as much as possible, but because I’m willing to write whatever comes into my head with no filter. Scary stuff, it’s an accident waiting to happen. Aren’t all jobs stressful, though? I say if you’re not stressed, you’re not taking your work seriously enough. Unless you’re working in a massage parlour, maybe. ‘Will you just calm the flip down??? I’m trying to make you relaxed!!’ How would that person get hired? Psychopaths are known for having less anxiety, but I wouldn’t want to be massaged by a psychopath (or anyone, you’ve crossed a boundary). The guy would be like ‘Let me get my extra-soothing soap for you…’ Then he hits me. But that’s just a hypothetical situation of course. Those hiring for people giving massages are in a pickle though, aren’t they? They want someone calm who isn’t a psychopath? Who could such a person be? Maybe a completely normal person but after drinking a few pints of beer, but that sounds wrong, too for obvious reasons. A teacher said ‘teachers work insanely hard’. That sounds admirable, but I’d say that was him working TOO hard. I just think it’s counterproductive if he works so hard he starts talking to himself and believes he is the 2nd coming of Christ. Who knows, maybe I’m wrong. I certainly have odd views of massage parlours.
Matt later says that people don’t want to hear teachers complain. Again, pretty normal. What kind of parent or employer thinks things like ‘I hope the teacher complains about the students throwing chairs across the room, what drama! It would be like the TV show Big Brother, but in a school - full of action!’ The head teacher would sacked immediately, but as far as I understand, those opinions seem to be fairly common with parents, which is troubling. But at least it’s not parents AND head teachers, right? Total chaos. Another teacher (a music teacher) says how proud he is of his music students when they perform music. Sounds inspiring, but you must remember music teachers were once proud of me. I mean the teacher SEEMS trustworthy, I’m really sure he doesn’t get off on classroom violence, just be openminded, that’s all. I am sure Matt is a damn good drama teacher though, because I’ve seen a lot of his sketches and they are first rate. I’m sure the music teacher’s music is first rate too, as he studied at Berkley, but yeah he could be a liar. But maybe not! Chillingly, (but please understand he was speaking metaphorically before making any judgements) the music teacher said ‘shoot yourself’ to a student. Of course what he meant was ‘if you don’t participate in class, you’ll only be harming yourself’. So yeah, say the phrase ’shoot yourself’ (or even the full phrase ‘if you don’t work, you’ll only shoot yourself’) with EXTREME caution. You work in a mental home with paranoid people? Don’t even go there.
The music teacher later mentions Bach a few times, and the subtitles are CONVINCED it should be spelt either ‘box’ or ‘Boach’. Never heard of him. I would say the teacher has a weird accent but he doesn’t, he just sounds American. I guess maybe it’s only the Germans who can say ‘Bach’ properly?? Hell, I don’t even know how to truly pronounce my name in Germany, so maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to judge the captions. It’s just they invented a new word, that’s all… Lastly Matt says that it’s very rewarding when he turns children into different people and when they remember you, but what he doesn’t do is point out that he means that in a GOOD way. Then again, if parents ‘shake your’ hand in response to the change, you would assume Matt made a positive difference. Unless the parents are evil, maybe? Oh no! Is this all I’ve got to say about the podcast?? To beef this paragraph up, because this podcast is at least 20 minutes shorter than usual, a podcast regular didn’t make an appearance (likely because he quit) AND because I’m stuck, it’s definitely worth mentioning that I didn’t shave for three days one time (by mistake) and not two, so it will be very interesting finding out what difference that makes to future family visits. If I STILL don’t see them on the day I don’t shave? Well, there are no words. And if you’re reading this Matt, and you have no idea what I’m going on about? Just forget it, it will change the way you view shaving forever and will lead to genuine obsessions. Again, don’t go there. Now check out the podcast, below!
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