Double Father’s Day/Dentist Blog (Blog 198)

For father’s day, me and my father went round my brother’s (who is a father too) house for a barbecue. Also there were his wife and my two nieces. It was an exactly 50-50 boy to girl ratio, making things KIND of macho, but not to the point wrestling/boxing tournaments took place to settle scores about football matches or maybe darts or whatever. No fighting happened just for the fun of it either. I do have some boxing equipment if need be, though. The great father’s day bundle. No only joking. In fact that’s never happened. :O Almost right away, it was humorously pointed out that lockdown restrictions should be eased further on the 4th of July and rather coincidentally that’s Independence Day. Excellent stuff. I was annoyed I didn’t realise that for myself so I could blog about it and claim originality but I wouldn’t have done anyway as I didn’t know it was it Independence Day.

My brother was eager to use his outdoor cooking equipment because he only just got it and it cost around £1,000. I wasn’t quite as excited as him because the previous barbecues my dad was in charge of were kind of average. I was pleasantly surprised however, as my sibling’s was much nicer. Whether that was because of better equipment, ingredients or both I don’t know. Or maybe he was just an expert at turning over cooking meat. I believe it was my brother’s first barbecue, so I had balls of steel trying the chicken. Part of me knew I could die slowly and painfully if things went wrong, but I took a chance and it was very tasty. Certainly not to die for, but it rivalled your typical chicken shish. To my pleasant surprise, the burger was even better. I know I sound excitable but as explained, I’m used to mediocre barbecues. Plus my birthday is coming up. Go karts?? Lots of fun.

My brother said to me, ‘try the cheese, it tastes like chicken’. I picked up what I thought was cheese and said 'wow this really DOES taste like chicken’. I actually ate chicken but come on, both foods were white. It could have happened to anyone. The cheese I finally tried was fairly meaty in taste just not that meaty. Throughout much of the event my dad was sanding down some kind of strange structure made of planks of wood, and later on my niece had a go at painting it. I would be lying if I said I knew what it was. Another clue was that it had a metal bowl on top of it, but really that made me even more confused. I didn’t say that though, I just kind of nodded in approval.

After the meat was cheesecake and some kind of cookie based desert. I’m not saying it wasn’t nice but my teeth! We have an arrangement where we’re kind to each other for the greater good. But then again, cheesecake isn’t really a desert as its mainly cheese. It’s more of a breakfast which is perfectly fine. By that I mean you eat milk for breakfast and cheese is made of milk. So… breakfast. Cookie dough however will always be a desert. Or at least an unhealthy snack. Before me and my dad left, it was suggested we could make a habit of barbecuing throughout the week as there was little else to do. Whilst I had a good time, I was thinking ‘let’s not get carried away, here, I do have my own things that need doing…’ I could blog about barbecues frequently but that would probably get dull quickly unless I upped the interest by doing wacky things. But what could they be? Dancing on a table? Pretending to be a fish? Yes that would be blog worthy, but stories would spread about me wouldn’t they?

Ok, that was father’s day. Now for the dentist:

Before I was allowed into the building, I had to wash my hands and wait in line in the sun. Not a problem, I know how to do that. The hand wash however, took me by surprise as it seemed to be mixed with Indian spices. It smelt like a joss stick and I have absolutely no idea why. Maybe to encourage others to use it? Hm. I’ll leave it. Eventually I was invited in. Before my teeth were examined, I was told to use a mouthwash which wasn’t quite as nice. It seemed to be salt water. In fact it was horrible. It’s funny how I like both water and salt, but not the two combined. I explained that one of my teeth went wonky, perhaps because I clench my teeth in my sleep. It was suggested I get something to bite down on when I go to bed as some of my gnashers were worn. Apparently the devices are uncomfortable though, so I thought ‘screw it’. Sleeping’s bad enough in the summer heat, I’m not going to make things worse at a cost of over £100. On the plus side, after a bit of tooth scraping with metal instruments, I was told that all my teeth were fine; at least functionally.

However, the dentist said I needed a hygiene appointment. He didn’t ask me if I wanted one, he said I needed it. That suggests my teeth are so unsightly, me getting whitening is mandatory for the public good. That’s depressing. Making things worse, according to my papers, my cleaning session will last 45 minutes. That’s a good clean. I’m sure that’s just the maximum time though. I guess I’ll see. When my short checkup was over, I booked a hygiene appointment. Before today, I was told I’d have to wait till September to get one, so you can imagine my surprise when the receptionist said she had a cancellation and could get me looked at tomorrow. I’m glad I’ll be getting it out of the way but at the same time, I really can’t be bothered. Never mind. Anyway, because of my at least relatively good teeth news, I thought I’d treat myself to a kebab and a Yorkie. The first just to see if my brother’s cooking really could compare (did you believe that?) and the second just for old time’s sake. (Did you believe that?) NOW I’m going to try and cut sugars down. After maybe a hot crossed bun.

Ok, that was dentist appointment number one. Coming up next is number two…

As I know just how painful hygiene appointments are, I was in a heightened state of alert and awareness. Rather unusually for me, I noticed that the dentist was four minutes and ten seconds late. I never really understood people who have no problem noting the smallest, often pointless details, but now I do. Make me see the dentist every day, and these blogs would turn from every day to profound. Maybe a bit wordy, though. Unfortunately, some of my teeth are pretty sensitive and I don’t like touching them. Imagine my distress when metal spikes scraped into them hard. Ouch. And that went for thirteen minutes! Sure some teeth were better than others, but my word! Based on past experiences, I had to try my very best not to show too much pain as if I did, the dentist would stop and not clean certain areas of my mouth up. That was extremely difficult as I dug my nails into my hands and my eyes started to water. But I didn’t go ‘AAAARGH!’ like last time. Consequently, my teeth are actually looking pretty good, now. But still slightly wonky as explained. The two minutes of polishing that followed were a breath of fresh air, but still uncomfortable.

When all the torture was over, I booked another checkup in six months time. The receptionist asked me if December was ok. I thought that was fair enough, so I said it would be fine. When I got to my car however, I looked at my piece of paper that was handed to me and it said the checkup was on Christmas Eve. That would not be a happy Christmas. Therefore when I got home, I phoned up to delay my agony until January. As I’m typing this up, I’m waiting till I can eat food again, according to dentist orders. I have about ten minutes to go. Now I know I said I was going to cut down on sugar, but today is an even better reason to celebrate than yesterday, so I’m going to enjoy a lemon muffin. Then back to good old healthy living. I insist. (But not promise). I think that’s it, then… Bye!