Well Dog! (Blog 602)

I recently said my dad booked a vet appointment for my dog just in case there was something wrong with it (it keeps drinking). I also said it was probably nothing to worry about, and I ALSO said I wouldn’t blog about it as it would be too sad. However, as time passed I was so confident about my dog being fine, I decided I’d blog about it after all. So, here we go! As my dad drove me and the dog to the vet, I think I saw a torpedo in a field… I mean how do you respond to that really? Making things even weirder, the field is known for housing horses, so we have horses and torpedos. A gap in the market I suppose, maybe that was the whole point? I honestly have no idea. As always (even whilst driving for myself :S), I was on the lookout for interesting numberplates. In fact, I do so, so much that it’s more a reflex than a conscious decision. One plate in particular stood out to me, that being ‘KCF’. Kentucky chicken fried? That’s close enough to the real thing. It just doesn’t really compare to the torpedo story, does it? As he was driving, my dad hit his car wheel on a curb. There is clearly a curb-hitting gene in my family, as a damaged tyre was the reason I failed my MOT. Hopefully my dad’s car wasn’t damaged, otherwise I’d have to spend a very long time at the vet as we’d wait for the AA. Not only would I be bored, I’d be at least a bit sad about my dog too, despite what I said earlier. Turns out the tyre was fine!

Things weren’t perfect though, as the numberplate made me hungry. Mm, Kentucky chicken fried, delicious! A sign near the vet’s entrance said ‘no cigarette butts’ which makes complete sense obviously, but on first glance it could look like simply ‘no butts’ and what do you do in that situation? I guess cancel your appointment and go somewhere else, unless you have some kind of freakish abnormality? I mean what a thing to ban, right? A sign IN the vet’s and by the side of a device used for weighing animals said ‘Go ahead, hop on!’ It’s worth pointing out people aren’t allowed to use the thing (I was told that in a prior vet visit, after weighing myself) so that suggests vets think animals can read for themselves. The vets would be like ‘sorry, I can’t speak properly, I’ve lost my voice. Please read the sign’. When I read the sign and weigh myself on the other hand? I get told off. Also in the waiting room, I noticed a sign on the door saying the name of the doctor. I thought animal doctors were just called ‘vets’! Are animal doctors and vets the same or different?? That alone is confusing, so again, imagine my response to the torpedo. Hopefully it wasn’t armed. You hear of ready to fire WW2 bombs being found but at least you can explain them, I think the position of the torpedo in the field is even weirder than the torpedo itself.

When we were called into the doctor’s/vet’s room, the dog was giving an examination and everything seemed to be fine. When my dad said the dog was drinking 7 pints of water a day, the healthcare worker said ‘Oh really?’ in disbelief. I found that funny, as the guy in the pet store didn’t believe my dad, either. My dad THINKS he keeps tricking people, clearly not. He lies pretty much daily and a lot of the time you have to wonder why. Usually people lie in a way to get something from others, right? Maybe he wanted to vet to be sad, but God knows. To be on the safe side, a sample of my dog’s blood was taken, and the dog really hated that, naturally. Thank God it doesn’t have to have monthly Clozapine blood tests like me, right? Luckily my dog is completely sane. After the test we went home, and now I’m waiting for the results by phone. I’m sure everything will be fine! Now what to say? I’m still thinking of the torpedo, tbh. It’s just that submarines are far more known for travelling in the sea, how did one get to my landlocked town, and how did it lose one of its weapons? Really it should be world news. Unless it’s a cover-up, maybe? I can see how that would be embarrassing for the navy… And that’s all I have to say, bye!