Blog For the Sake of it Part 2 (Blog 571)

What can I say? It’s been a boring month, the highlight of it being washing sands from Africa off my car. It was fun for a few seconds, then the novelty wore off and it was just another car wash, I guess I shouldn’t have got my hopes up. Not only that, I got one less hour of sleep today at the time of writing on a Sunday, as the clocks went forward. Not only am I tired, but even as a 37 year old I can’t work out whether clocks going forward gives you one hour less sleep or one hour more, I have to rely on the internet telling me. It seems like simple logic, but I can’t get my head around it and it’s roughly as frustrating as losing my keys, that’s the best way I can describe it. As in ‘oh for God’s sake!’ In the morning I went shopping with my dad and he told a shopkeeper there were much fewer people around than usual, and my dad’s genuine theory was that everyone overslept. He clearly doesn’t have faith in other people, does he? It could be what inspires my One Screwy Day stories where everything goes wrong constantly. No, this is how my dad sees the world… My dad probably thinks cats should run the country as well. Seriously though, you know the real reason why everything goes wrong in my writings, non stop? Seems extreme right? It’s actually because I apply the 3 act structure to every single chapter and if you Google the structure, you’ll see it describes constantly escalating tension. So there you go, not so much a personal choice, more a misunderstanding.

Here’s a thought, no one seems to know what words should be capitalised in titles, myself included (if a word is shorter than 4 letters and isn’t someone’s name or an object, I say use lower cases) but I do know the last word should start with a capital no matter what its length is. Simple enough, but is 2 a word or a number? If it’s not a word, is ‘two’ a word? You can see why no one bothers learning the system, can’t you? I’ve reviewed many hundreds of albums now and the song and album titles are more or less random when it comes to using capital letters. Again, no one knows what to do. Wouldn’t the world be a nicer place if ALL the words in a title began with capitalisation? I don’t think every letter in a word should be in capitals though, as that suggests anger. It would be particularly in poor taste for the name of light jazz album, for example. KIND OF BLUE BY MILES DAVIS!!!! Where did that come from? Or even worse ‘You’re watching THE TELETUBBIES!!!’ You might as well play infants death metal. However, there are some death bands that don’t shout constantly (for example Fear Factory’s ‘Soul of a New Machine’ album), technically making THE TELETUBBIES >:( worse. A bit sinister, ins’t it? I mean what’s happening behind the scenes of the show? Soul of a new Teletubby. THAT’S creepy. I’m picturing fluffy and colourful creatures with TVs on their stomachs hanging around haunted houses, a big F U to audience expectations!

What else have I got to talk about? It has been a good 19 days since my last blog, you’d think I’d have lots of things to say in that time. Well… not really. I guess it’s a little bit windy outside… Apparently not as windy as when bits of Africa ended up on my car, but weirdly I didn’t really notice any difference in weather back then. The sandy winds were built up a bit on the news, creating at least some interest in me, but a few specs of sand? Meh. I’ll tell you a real news story, how’s about a pyramid being blown all the way to Surrey? It would spice up the mini trains place, important as I’ve been there a good few times already. However, if my brother is reading this, I want to go there again anyway. Again, if washing my car is a notable event in my life, I think it shows pretty clearly that mini trains are AWESOME, at least relatively speaking. I just think they can be improved, that’s all, made a little more exotic. The place has names for its various routes, the exact names I can’t remember, stuff like ‘The Penguin Line’ or whatever, but how about the Egyptian line? THAT would be cool. What wouldn’t be cool though, are squashed trains and visitors. I guess it’s important to say ‘if you ever see a pyramid being blown by stormy weather… run.’ That sounds like common sense, but I’d imagine I’d do a hell of a lot of staring before leaving the area. And that’s it for today, to wrap things up I should explain that if there really are winds strong enough to blow pyramids to England you’re probably already dead! Bye!