Christmas Shopping Spectacular (Blog 489)

Yesterday, I went Christmas shopping in Kingston and THEN Staines, hence my use of the word ‘spectacular’! Soon after getting out of bed I found that I had no computer problems to taint my day, but I was told by my brother and the nurse who took my blood early in the same morning, that the parking would be terrible in the latter town. That did spoil things a little but as I always tell myself in times of hardship ‘live in the now’ and that’s basically what I did as I looked forward to a superb shopping spree. On the train to the first town, I noticed graffiti inside the transport saying ‘only ilegal activity.’ ‘Illegal’ should have two Ls making it ‘illegal’ in the world of spelling which does work, but I mean come on, how is it possible to only do things that are against the law? Even the most hardened criminals do at least some things that are law abiding, such as eating and sleeping. It suggests the vandal eats endangered tigers and can only sleep whilst on sedative narcotics. I mean… wow, how can you not catch such a person? And how are you supposed to get away with graffitiing with CCTV everywhere? There’s no activity from the guards there! :S

Also on the train, I noticed one of my brother’s ex girlfriends who now has 2 daughters. In a parallel universe, she could have ended up being my sister in law, isn’t that trippy? A weird sci-fi experience and all I was doing was sitting in a train. I noted down with a pen that they were playing the word game ‘I spy’ but I didn’t write the words they used as I thought that would be kinda creepy. However, little did they know that in my mind, I actually joined in with the game. I never guessed the words correctly, though it did pass the time. After leaving the transport and on my travels to the CD shop, there was no I spy, but maybe that was for the best as the game gets a whole lot more complicated in open areas with hundreds of things in sight in just a few seconds. If you said ‘I spy with my little eye, something beginning with L’ in the train for example, you could say ‘liar’ referring to the vandal, but in a city? There are just too many possibilities.

In the CD shop, I noticed there was an artist promoted called ‘Charli XCX’. For the last time, XCX is meaningless! I saw XCX on a numberplate a while ago as well, and while it is a palindrome and well ALL know how much I love those, at the end of the day it’s a pointless and longwinded way of simply saying ‘C’ or, if you’re not part of the ancient Roman empire, another way of saying ‘100’. What’s wrong with 100? I think being called ‘Simon 100’ would be cool! Makes me sound impressive, maybe I’d be enhanced by some kind of robot technology. I then searched for the chocolate shop I went to last time but couldn’t find it, which was annoying. Ah the special chocolate with artificial sweetener, not sugar. I usually consider the prior ingredient to be the underdog, but boy did it prove its worth a few months ago, that’s for sure. Very nice. Not to worry, I went to another chocolate shop instead.

After that, I walked back to the station, but I missed the train by about 5 minutes! To pass the time, I had a small look around a Warhammer shop where I saw a small skirmish and lots of products on display. The store owner asked me if ‘I was looking for a man in a box’, in a reference to my Alice in Chains jumper! Excellent, quick witted humour with an admirable knowledge of music. As WH is a game of tactics, the guy could well make a good general, as well. A funny, grunge-loving general. A charismatic general and for that reason, someone to be feared. He should quit his job and defend England against the threat of other countries getting jealous of our vegetables and invading us! If you have no idea what I’m talking about, that’s completely understandable, you just have to read my Kamikaze Popo monologue, that’s all. Anyway, back in the station I did get the chance to see the time 12:34:56, which I liked.

Shortly after getting home, I drove to Staines! Would you believe someone asked me how to use the ticket machine and not the other way around? THAT’S something that could suggest a parallel universe, that was plain weird. Also nope, there was no problem getting into the car park. I wasn’t annoyed by that, but again my day could have easily been tainted if I let the ‘bad news’ I heard earlier get to me. Maybe I should stop saying ‘taint’. It’s definitely one to use in moderation, though. I think everyone could do with a better vocabulary. A vandal could write ‘only felonious endeavours.’ Is that a cool thing to say though? Maybe not, but also impossible. The first shop I went to was HMV, where I contributed further to a young family member’s heavy metal education by getting them a System of a Down CD. A bit of a crazy album, but lots of fun.

A few seconds after leaving the music store, I saw a perfume shop right in front of me without even looking for it. Very nice! There, I bought my brother some aftershave. Sounds simple? Well, just so I could get sent a receipt by email, I had to say my email address and name a good 10 or so times. When I got home I would find they did get my email address right, although my surname is definitely not ‘Wedaman’. That’s what the email called me, though. Is my voice really that hard to understand?? Or are the shop workers freaks? Never mind, after that came the toy shopping! I may have visited the toy ‘superstore’ that is Smyth’s but finding a doll that wasn’t creepy wasn’t as straightforward as I’d like. It’s a fine line between cute and a bit psycho. I also bought a squishy toy and some toys cars. At the checkout I was asked if I wanted a bag, I said ‘yes’ and was told that would be £1. £1?? Oh yes, for everything, not just for the bag. Damn. Still though, I wouldn’t want to pay £1 for all those toys as I’d feel shady.

In the 5 Guys restaurant, a cook also commented on my AIC jumper, but I got no witty joke, that time. :( He cooks a damn good burger though and that’s what should get the priority, obviously. I ordered a small portion of chips but I got so many, wow. And the milkshake? There are no words or noises to describe it, other than my 2nd favourite word ‘yum’. To end the trip, I went magazine shopping where I picked up the latest edition of Metal Hammer. I was told by an employee that it would cost me £15! Jeez, at least one person in the entertainment industry was being honest! That was too much for me, so I left it. All in all, a good day!… … Until I got back home from the gym later on to find my computer wallpaper was yellow again!!! It was fine for a good week and then THAT had to happen! If I turn my computer on twice a day, I did that over 7 days with no problems and it’s a 50/50 chance of getting the wrong background, that means either my computer was somehow fixed for a bit and went screwy again OR I witnessed a 1 in 4,000 event! And on that intriguing note… bye!