Contest 101 (Blog 564)

Right, it’s time for another Matt and co. podcast themed blog! I’ve been watching his video with self-generated subtitles and for whatever reason, the captions point out when Matt is ‘snorting’. Sounds harmless enough, but what do you associate with snorting? Don’t worry, you can prove Matt doesn’t do drugs as he’s right there being filmed! Right? Sadly no, he sometimes snorts off camera. It’s probably nothing, but I’m just saying Matt complains about how stressful being a teacher is, and in another show he told of how much he likes energy drinks (I think). Where do you go once the drinks wear off and stop having the same effects? Ever heard of gateway drugs? Oh my God. I’ve just realised what I’ve just typed. I am SO, SO sorry Matt for that egregious allegation! I mean people don’t snort cocaine to calm down, do they? I don’t mean to offend Matt when I say he’d give the most mental podcast ever if he was taking cocaine as I would be no better! I’d be worse even, with the schizophrenia and all, my word. Aliens, evil robots and reptiles ruling England, you name it, I’d talk about it, I’d be hyper too. Again, there is absolutely NO sign he has ever done that, so I’ll shamefully move on. Matt said that he ‘chugged half a litre of goat milk’ and the captions said he snorted again shortly after. So there you go, that’s what he snorts. I didn’t see him do that, but who am I to say I’m better than A.I.? Matt, I’m concerned. It’s good to drink, not to inhale. And I get the confusion, goat milk IS usually healthy! :) Oh wow, I’ve just realised that even though the subtitles said he snorted after the goat milk story, that does not of course, mean he snorted such a drink. Again, embarrassed. -_-

Another teacher said ‘half the class has IEPs’ which alarmed me, then I realised IEDs are the things you have to watch out for. (Improvised explosive devices). Phew! Just a misunderstanding. I mean student behaviour hasn’t declined that much has it?? Stop talking about how hard teaching children is and address the real issue! Again, just a misunderstanding. Matt later suggested it could be a good idea if they cloned themselves so there could be five teachers in every classroom. An interesting idea, but Matt must be well into his 30s now, meaning you’d have to wait another 30 or so years to have more fully grown Matts. He’d have to look after them, school them, etc. Matt… Are you on drugs? Of course not, it was a just a harmless idea. He has pointed out he has been working very hard recently with all the teaching and studying he does, you can work too hard, leading to mental health problems. In psychology it’s called an ‘overvalued idea’ rather than a delusion. Oh what I would have given to simply have overvalued ideas as a teenager, Matt has no idea how lucky he is! Think about cloning as many of you as you like! Just don’t quit your job and work in a laboratory, because I would have done. Again, no shame in it, I had a disease. It’s like judging people with cancer, it’s not fair.

Even later on the subtitles almost said a teacher snorted a sub. (A sandwich). However, here’s what was said exactly ‘So, one (snorts) of the subs, that is a regular’, and he continues. It was close, wasn’t it? Of course the guy was talking about another veteran substitute teacher, but in my paranoid state of mind I thought he’d literally inhaled a sandwich right into his lungs. Again, who am I try criticise anything these people say? Further proof you shouldn’t trust self-generated subtitles is when the words said ‘Kindergarten Cup’ instead of cop. What a dull film that would be. The teachers then talk about LREs. What could they be? Not something to do with explosives again? Oh thank God, Least Restrictive Environments. I was going to say, now I REALLY get why these people have anxiety before teaching. TWO different types of explosives? It’s too much. Again, a misunderstanding. I’ll tell you what isn’t a misunderstanding, though: The teachers keep talking about how hard it is to teach children anything as their behaviour is so bad. I on the other hand would be thinking ‘This is really flipping easy. All I have to do is tell everyone to behave, they don’t behave so I try again without having to teach anything at all? I mean… lighten up!’ No only joking, though having said that, there was a teacher who simply let me do nothing at all without even bothering to help me, which sounds bad, but she seemed to like me giving me mixed feelings. She probably did so because I was just as lazy as her!

Right, video summarised, check it out below!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0JE9aReTOQ