Contest 83! (Blog 464)

I’ve finished reviewing for Metal Rules, so it’s time to share another of Matt’s videos. Why? It kind of needs an explanation, doesn’t it? Force of habit, I guess. There are no real reasons. Why do people eat turkey on Christmas? Are the birds known for being festive? (Or anti-festive, that makes more sense to me, let’s eat them as payback!) Nope, people eat turkeys, just because. I’m not calling Matt a turkey, I’m just saying why not promote him, that’s all. Ah, Google says we eat turkeys on Christmas because King Henry VIII thought it would be a good idea. And it is a good idea, what a wise king, but the point is many people don’t know that and now that I think of it, should we trust ALL of the king’s so called ‘good ideas’? Not if you don’t want to go to jail, you shouldn’t. It’s too late to tell him now obviously, but some of the things he did? They’re not ok. I asked Matt if there were any videos he wanted me to share and he said I could just pick any one I felt like. Dammit! The truth is I can’t know for sure if I have reviewed many of his videos or if I just watched them. Plan ruined, so it was time to get my thinking cap on. I know, I could go way back into the guy’s history and review a video he made before I ever heard of him, and that video is below!…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oOG1-oWx9k

Yes, like me he has his own podcast and like me, basically anything can get discussed, from dog food to freaking out and dying, to people flexing their pecs! Matt sings, as well! What a ride. At the end of the video, another guy sings of death and destruction in typical heavy metal fashion. I say anything could get discussed, but actually all my podcasts consist of is a mentally ill man arguing with people. Boy do I feel insecure. Don’t worry though, as my upcoming podcast will feature a good TWO different versions of me from parallel universes! A psychiatrist’s worst nightmare. Though to be fair, if you don’t want to deal with someone like me, or three, why enter the profession anyway? I guess I don’t act as expected. NO SIMON, NO! Stop talking about mental health!! NOW I’ll try harder, I promise. Matt says he doesn’t want to own a dog because it would die in a week? Very sad, it would probably trigger a mental breakdown. Nope, I’ve failed again. One last try. Would people think I had a mental breakdown if I sang about death and destruction? Right, that’s it. I clearly can’t stop talking about mental health, maybe I should just accept that and move on.

No, I need to prove to myself I’m strong. One of Matt’s guests (who doesn’t hate him which should be respected) mentions a ‘metal alien dog face monster’. Now THAT’S something I want to know more about. If I ever saw one, I’d assume I was having a mental b… Nope. Actually I’d assume I saw some kind of robot, BECAUSE I have seen some robots on Youtube doing some pretty impressive-crazy stuff. If you can get viruses on computers, can you even imagine a virus on a metal alien dog face monster? The more friendly hackers out there could just make the thing lick you and be adorable, but darker people could make the robot dog attack you. You can reason with living dogs by offering them treats, but what makes robot dogs so terrifying is you can’t do that to them. Maybe you could offer them batteries? It’s definitely something to think about. Unless they’re not really robots, but living aliens. Then what would you do? Maybe show them the film ‘Alien’? I’m just saying, if someone showed me a film about myself, I would check it out. Not out of narcissism, but paranoia.

Now to change the subject (slightly)! As explained, I had to get my computer repaired because of some kind of dodginess. I know ‘dodgy’ isn’t a phrase professionals use, but maybe they should to lighten the atmosphere. I mean what’s worse, being called a ‘mentally ill schizophrenic’ or being told you have a dodgy brain? I’d have loved to have heard that as a teenager. Well not really. Actually after being diagnosed as schizophrenic, I was thinking to myself ‘cool.’ Anyway, my computer wasn’t working because of a software problem, apparently. Oh no. Also as explained but a longer time ago, I tried to install some software (a newer version of Sonoma) but screwed up for much of the process even though I apparently succeeded in the end. The dodginess wasn’t because of me was it? Not only would that annoy me it would scare me too, as I’ll have to install similar software again sometime in the near future!!! Scary stuff. I did Google if it’s possible to install computer updates wrong. There were no results which sounds positive, BUT the way I installed the update was perhaps so weird, maybe I’m a one off! :S And…. bye!