Contest 89! (Blog 503)

It’s time to share another Matt Jones podcast again! It lasts a good hour, so the plan is to listen to it in the background as I type about it! Should be good! I just want to see the time 12:34:56 on my computer clock, and I can get going. Annnnd… Here we go! (I actually clicked on the video at that exact time, who knows maybe the video’s analytics will record that. If so… my actions were no coincidence whatsoever!)

Oh good, the podcasters are talking about shaking and not sleeping properly after drinking coffee and how embarrassing that is. Yeah? Well how about drinking coffee and going insane because we all know that’s MY world. Shake a bit for a short while or everything going to (expletive). Again, what do you choose? At least it gives me stuff to write about? Material a little on the repetitive side, at least? So maybe I should drink some coffee to get MORE ideas? I don’t mean to write more filth, but (expletive) off. I’m very sorry, but that’s how strongly I feel. I go into a cafe in a carefree mood and in high spirits? Then I get recommended a cappuccino? More swear words. For that reason I would make an unlikely podcast guest, so I guess well done Matt. I was thinking of plain deleting the prior material as it was just SO cliched for me, then I thought ’screw it, the only coffee anecdotes for me personally are just so terrifying. Such writing could simply only go one way’.

I could create a new conspiracy where actually Matt never talked about coffee. If I did that, maybe, just maybe I wouldn’t have ever ended up talking about the drink. I would clearly need to do something drastic to stop myself, but the evidence about Matt drinking the stuff is right there in the podcast. I would have believed it though, if someone said something as crazy as that a good few years ago, now. Something like ‘You know that guy who talked about coffee? He didn’t really talk about coffee.’ That goes to show the kind of wild stuff I used to believe in. And of course, starting rumours is no way to treat a friend, and I do consider Matt a friend now. Whether deep down he wants to be, I don’t know. Even if he doesn’t, you can’t go around trying to make others part of conspiracy theories, of course you can’t. Unless of course, I have an espresso, which is just one more dreaded drink that drives me mental. How do you think it feels being terrified of such a silly sounding beverage? It’s like being scared of a booptibooo.

Moving on, the podcasters say how important sleep is. Couldn’t agree more, if I don’t sleep properly my memory is even worse than usual. That is saying a lot as we all know if I find myself in a strange place 5 or more miles from home, I’m stuck there if I’m without help. It puts me on the same intellectual level as a bee. Let’s Google how far bees can effectively travel now… Yes, there we go, bees can fly as far as 5 miles for food, how about that? And of course, bees don’t fall for conspiracy theories. Unless maybe that bee sting I got that one time was because the insect was worried I’d harm him, which is at least KINDA deluded? Part of me DID want revenge, but it would be too time consuming and difficult to get it, and if word about that got out there, if anything I’d look worse than the bee. Wow, Matt explains how much he plans his life. He plans his work as a teacher, he plans how he maintains a successful relationship, etc. A very strange thought for me as I plan next to nothing. A lot of time I wake up and think ‘What should I do today?… Then I think… whatever ever I want, let’s wing it.’ I do have planned ideas sure, but mostly for about 7 to 14 days in the future. And I THINK that explains why I’m still living with my dad. Live in the now, right? Or maybe not.

I like how Matt says he gets up early, does some meditation, works at a school, does some studying then goes to the gym and then calls that ‘wild’. Yes! See, you don’t have to do drugs and joyride to be wild, you can just be responsible and hardworking! It’s very easy to brainwash small children. You could say to them ‘You want to be cool, right?’ Then the child goes ‘Yeah, everyone wants to be cool.’ Then you could say ‘then be a party animal’, you could say ‘dress up as a frog’, ‘wear only one shoe’ and the child will believe that’s what you have to do to be cool/wild etc. If you follow up the advice which a trendy word like ‘word’ or ‘respect’ and follow the word with a cool hand signal? Well done, you’ve powned a child. Children may be innocent but with that comes easy powning. Does that make them annoying or endearing? I don’t know.

I thought one of my brother’s friends was cool because he spiked his hair up so I copied him. Did other people perceive me as cool? Not really, in fact one person noted that I was spiking my hair up with women’s hairspray which I denied at the time, but I did realise that’s what I was actually doing. Maybe my mum thought I was simply expressing my femininity, but the very least she could have done was talked to me about that. The prior writing was more material I have shared before (in more detail this time which is something), but of course the hair story is nowhere near as common as mental health ones. I thought Lister from Red Dwarf was cool because of the way he dressed, I was clearly convinced you could get others to look up to you, just by how you appear. I guess you have to have a great personality. However, if you DO have a great personality and you constantly wear a huge novelty traffic cone, would you STILL be perceived as cool? Surely not. That makes me feel a little bit better. Do I feel cool now? No, I think I completely gave up on the idea at around 15 or so, (coincidentally the time wear I could well have worn a traffic cone) and I feel fine!

Right! Want to actually watch the podcast and not my three minute summary that wasn’t actually about the podcast, but about me? Check it out, below!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAQXAFbtYWM

And bye!