Contest Blog 79! (Blog 436)

In this Matt Jones appreciation day, the comedian talks about how failure makes you a better person. Couldn’t agree more! I tried to be funny in school and whilst I had at least some success, for the most part people were like ‘I heard he has paranoid schizophrenia. Let’s stay away from him.’ That’s not very funny is it? Luckily I was only known by the people in my school, friends of the people in my school (because word gets around) and maybe friends of friends of people in school. But probably no more than that. Other than mental health professionals of course, word really gets around with them, woah. I also suspect my teachers were gossiping about me. Because of some strange mental defect, that didn’t bug me and I continued to try and be funny and look at me now! Ok, I haven’t really change much at all in terms of personality, but as I keep mentioning, I have written lots of jokes about bees. Over 60!

Matt also talks of the pain of doing well in comedy competitions but not quite winning. I can relate to that, I haven’t won a single comedy competition, or had any real interest in my books or sitcom. I guess they’re a bit too crazy for most people, but the problem is I’m a crazy guy. Take this for example: I’ve eaten 220 grams of dates today (now yesterday as I wrote this blog on a Friday) even though I didn’t enjoy them! (Ok, maybe that’s less crazy and more health-conscious. Actually that’s opposite of crazy). Ok, I’m also wearing trousers that are way too tight as I’m going to the gym later and I don’t want them to fall down! :O (Though if I did want my trousers to fall down at the gym, that would be REALLY crazy, if not criminally so). Furthermore, as I’ve been trying to come up with content for this blog, I have been doing nothing but staring at the floor for about half an hour. Sure I’ve been listening to music, but if listening to music makes you less crazy, you’d think it would get played in mental homes constantly. Want to know a real mental home sound? Patients complaining to nurses about how bored they are.

Matt speaks of the pain of getting booed and that’s something I can’t relate to however, as I write stuff online. Someone could leave me a comment saying ‘boo’ hypothetically speaking, but that hasn’t happened yet. And as explained, in school people just stayed away from me. No boos there, either. Unless they booed me without me knowing, which is possible. Matt then explains how he listened to sad Ozzy Osbourne songs to make him feel better. I kind of get that, but I listened more to Hammerfall and their lyrics ‘Don’t loose your faith, don’t sit there in silence. Show your strength, let’s hail the metal Gods!!!’ which on reflection does deviate from the norm somewhat. Most 15 or 16 year olds listen to love songs or whatever, not about being strong and worshipping Gods that have been made up by a random Swedish singer.

Now check his video out, below!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uH2As0pouuo

Now to change the subject! (Partially). I boasted about what a great bee joke writer I was, but having checked my dentist blog recently, I did say something that didn’t really make sense. I said ‘What DOES your smelly dad’s favourite spice? Pap reeker’ when of course I should have said ‘what IS’. Whoops. Expect another apology monologue some time in the future. Changing the subject again, I saw a ‘personalised’ add on my channel as I was getting ready to copy and paste my faulty joke and it was about ‘intermittent fasting’. Wow, the advert knows I like going to the gym and all that stuff. However, it was aimed at women which hurt me. There’s no explaining the two snooker ads I saw, though. The first was bad enough, but the second suggested I absolutely love the sport. I mean… not really. And on that puzzled note, bye!