Contest Blog 86! (Blog 481)

In this month’s Matt Jones promo day, his character asks ‘when do I get a break?’ Well… he gets a break today! Please share his video below and subscribe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsl6i09D6O8

He made the video a good five years ago now, all I have to say to that is be patient. Yes, maybe even you the reader can post a similar video on Youtube and hopefully a mentally ill person will share it for you in the end. Matt comes from America, the land of opportunity, fingers crossed, you do too. If you come from a normal family, your parents would have probably told you that the advice I’ve just given you about working with crazy people is absolutely terrible, but mentally ill people do have feelings you know? Part of the problem is many of such people have too many feelings. I’m not comparing myself to such people, but inmates who set fire to their cell when they’re in it have FAR too many emotions, obviously. I’m just saying, be kind. Matt also says that everyone wants to be someone else. You know who I’d love to be? My dog, so I could meet me. No, that didn’t sound right at all. I meant I’d like to be either one of my dogs as they’re so happy. It’s just worth noting they’re so happy because of me. No, that didn’t sound right again. They’re happy because… Ok, I don’t know why they’re happy. I’m just putting the thought out there that they’re happy and they’re around me a lot of the time… …

Matt says he would give anything to be someone else and all of a sudden, someone appears to grant his wish. Let’s be clear, Matt may come from the land of opportunity as explained, but people offering to make your wishes reality? I’d avoid them, personally. Needless to say you have to avoid such people if they’re mentally ill, too. I take back my comments about upsetting mentally ill people, really you have to put yourself before their needs. What might their needs be? I don’t know. They may genuinely be trying to help you, they may be planning on getting something from you in return, that being anything from magic beans to your life. Oh. My. Word. It’s another Matt Jones blog and I’ve talked about insanity again, I am REALLY sorry this time. How many times is it now? What I do know is it’s less than 88. To go in the completely opposite direction, I heard it’s technically possible and that it has been done for people to stop all schizophrenia symptoms by switching to a ketogenic diet. Wow, inspiring. In the diet you can have meat and dairy products? Does that mean I can eat pizza??? No, because you can’t have grains. If you thought my advert for Matt was good, here’s an outstanding review for the drug that I’m on, which is Clozapine: I’d rather be on it than not have pizza!!

Now to change the subject! As explained in one of my interviews, I can make whole monologues out of many of the ideas I have, so rather than waste a good one, I thought I’d make a small paragraph out of a not so great idea, that being one that makes me look like an immature 10 year old. Ok, here goes… I read the news headline ‘yellow warning for snow’ as ‘yellow snow warning’. Yep, the back of my mind assumed people have been peeing all over snow up and down the country, and English people need to be warned about that in case they eat it. But why make such a silly sounding headline?? It should have been something like ‘Warning: Do not eat the snow due to risk of contamination.’ It’s not a catchy heading, but it does tell the story. I wonder what I’d make of the heading ‘red warning for snow’. Would I assume people have been pouring tomato sauce all over icy conditions? In that respect, I’d much rather have a red warning even though to many, that sounds worse. I mean it’s such a kinder thing to do than pee on it, the ketchup tradition is one I would genuinely be interested in being a part of even though is it a bit wasteful. What else would you put on your bacon sandwich? It would result in bland for a good couple of months or so! :( And… bye!