Contest Blog 90 (Blog 507)

I asked Matt if he wanted me to share another of his videos, but he hasn’t got back to me about that, SO I thought I would review no one in this month’s contest, instead. Should be interesting or MAYBE it will be weird. He’ll probably contact me eventually, but the Wiedemann Comedy tradition is to review at least one person a month (or in this case a non-existent person), and let’s keep the tradition alive at least for now. I know the special thumbs up picture is ill-fitting in this case, but hell, let’s say Matt has won, anyway. He’s not going to get a high score though, he’s actually going to get the lowest score possible. In comparison it’s like someone turning up to a university entrance exam and refusing to even write his name on the paper. But at the same time, an interesting story for the examiner and something to blog about. Even if Matt doesn’t contact me sometime in the future, that wouldn’t really bother me as I’m getting tired of these blogs. That’s interesting as this is my 90th of such blogs and that’s around the point where I got bored of my podcasts. Many people say the best life expectancy is around 88 and after that things go downhill, so there you go, more proof linking the number with things that suck. I was born in 1988, does that mean my date of birth sucks? No, because my birthday had a 19 in front of it. A completely different number! I actually think the number 1988 is great. Not as varied as 1987, but a hell of a lot more varied than 2000! And they said people born on the year were lucky… -_-

The only thing that bugs me about not doing any more contest blogs is I was hoping to do something special for my 100th contest, and that was to write about TWO comedy videos, making it the first true contest in a very long time. In fact, I think the last time I did a contest that was actually a contest with more than one person in it, was way back in contest 43. That’s almost 4 years ago. You’d think someone would have had a talk about that with me at some point during that time, I guess people would assume I’d grow out of such behaviour. Nope, it’s got worse. Maybe in an even weirder situation it could get worse still? I’m wondering how a contest could have any less than zero entrants. I could CALL people ‘less than nothing’ which is a real phrase, but abuse for the sake of a more daring comedy contest? It’s not on. It would be even worse if I bent the laws of physics for the sake of a new kind of contest featuring less than one person. Seems kinda dangerous to me. However, I’m a responsible person, I could write to leading and entertaining scientist Brian Cox for his views on the special new contest featuring less than no competitors. He probably wouldn’t be interested about that, but I DO have a very intriguing new equation, that being E=MC3. It’s like Einstein’s law but in 3D! Super cool.

What does my new equation mean? I don’t know it could mean anything. I can try to explain it though, E=MC2 means things in 2D can’t go faster than the speed of light (for example Mario in the Super Nintendo era), E=MC3 I think means things in 3D can’t go faster than the speed of light, for example Super Mario in the Nintendo 64 era. Call me pretentious, but that sounds logical enough to me. However, maybe I’m not as smart as I claimed. On the train home from London, I noticed a poster on the transport saying the exact time and date as the time and date I looked at it. Then I realised it wasn’t a poster but a constantly updating computer screen. In a way that was a relief, but in another way my life did have less meaning. I mean for a bit I thought that the time I saw on the apparent poster had some kind of special significance. After all the time it took to make and hang the poster, someone had finally seen the date and time written on it! Oh wow! Well, I guess no wow. At very least I was hoping for some kind of prize, and I think I deserve a prize if I’m willing to give someone a special thumbs to someone for doing absolutely nothing. Oh never mind. And bye!