Flippin’ Brilliant!… Right?? (Blog 442)

I’ve been waiting for this moment for years now, and I never even thought it would happen. As this is a story filled with hope, tension, fears of failure and ultimately success (or is there? read on), you could assume what I’m going to say has just been made up by me, but nope, everything I’m about to say is 100% real. There was even a twist in this story! Be warned, what I’m about to tell you won’t make me look like the most mature person in the world, BUT if there are five year olds reading, what will follow will fill them with wonder. Right, here goes: One of the stair climbing machines at the gym has been out of service for a week or so, and has been recently repaired and made available again. So what? Well, that meant the top five scores (calories burned) had been completely wiped away, with the exception of one person.

So what? Well, I had a plan and that was go on the machine longer than the other person twice and then enter my three ‘initials’ in the top score also twice. By doing that, I could write ‘YOU’ on top and then ‘SCK’ (suck) below it. Success! I did indeed enter ‘YOU’ on the top of the scoreboard. I had a short break where I went on a neighbouring hiking machine for a while, and was about to enter the second score. Oh no! Another person was about to use the stair climbing machine! Not thinking and not knowing what to do, I ran to it then ran back to where I came. It looked really sus. Nope, false alarm, a member of staff just SHOWED the machine to a newbe gym user to impress him without using it. That meant the plan was still on! I did indeed do the exercising and then I wrote ‘SCK’. An old mental health nurse was right by my side as I wrote the letters (which was the twist), but as she didn’t complain I assume I’ve gotten away with it!

How could I top that? Well, even later on in the day, I did an even shorter stair session and wrote ‘LOL’. It wasn’t perfect, the leaderboard looked like ‘YOU SCK ABM (or whatever the guy’s initials were) LOL’ but it was damn close to ‘YOU SCK LOL’ and I’m sure the other gym users will get the message. Those using the machine would just be like ‘Well… I guess I suck. Is that funny? I don’t feel like laughing.’ Sadly I only burnt around 50 calories each session, so I don’t expect my records and mischief to last long, but some people WILL see, they will most likely pull some very funny faces and lots of people will see that. And of course, there could be anecdotes. Perfect. Furthermore, the gym prides itself on having polite users, but if the guy being shown the machine ever sees such records, he is going have to ask some very difficult questions. :(

Having just contradicted myself, things aren’t perfect, however. The member of staff showing the machine to the guy clearly saw how super eager I was to use it, and he must have been wondering why I didn’t seem to want to use an identical machine immediately by its side. The reason was because the alternative stair climbing thing doesn’t keep any records for whatever reason. If rumours make their way to the members of staff about people sucking, I’m going to be the number one suspect. Or am I? I am after all, nearly 36 years old. Someone of that age COULDN’T write such messages, right?? They have to have been written by the sixteen year old gym users. I was always doubtful of how much such people bring to the business and well… that has just been shown now, hasn’t it? It’s sad, really.

To wrap things up, there are good times and bad times in life. When going through darker moments you just have to keep being positive and look towards the future. Look towards the near future even, in many cases. I have been feeling low recently as the boredom has been getting to me, sometimes I just feel like maybe, just maybe the boredom will continue. Well, not any more. The boost will almost certainly get me through the next few months. I have some doctor checkups coming up that I never particularly like going to as the nurse is not so good with her syringe usage and doesn’t seem to be interesting in improving, but during such times I can just think to myself ‘Yeah. I’ve finally done it’, and that should bring me a great deal of peace. You can find the same sense of wellbeing too, all you need is a little bit of patience, a little bit of luck. And on that super happy note… Bye!