Happy Easter? (Bog 432)

It’s Easter Sunday! As that’s only one letter away from Easter Funday, would it be irony if the day didn’t turn out to be fun? It’s simple maths, you count how many letters are in Easter Funday (there are 11), you count how many letters are changed (just the one) and then you come to the conclusion it would be I guess ROUGHLY 91% irony? If only the phrase had ten letters, that would be easy to work out, 90% irony. (I worry both are wrong and I’ve just posted gibberish. It kind of makes sense to me at least, but putting thoughts to paper is a challenge). I also have to admit I don’t know how to work out percentages on calculators. Would it really be that much of a problem if there was a percentage key? Well there is, but it doesn’t seem to work. Say I want to work out 2% of 5. I type ‘2 % 5’ in the calculator, and it says 0.1. How’s that make sense? Oh actually it does make sense I was thinking the answer should have been 2. That’s a fraction, isn’t it? Two fifths of five is 2 I mean. Doesn’t matter. In that case, with technology I can more accurately work out how much irony today is if it’s not fun! It’s… Nope I still don’t know. Sorry. -_- It’s roughly 91%, leave it at that. If such laziness was exactly what you were expecting, I apologise, but I’ve just wasted a good half an hour of the day trying to be clever and typing nothing! How do you think I feel? Just imagine someone sitting down for that long, just thinking, because that person was me. Not exactly deep thoughts, were they?

That’s particularly bad as I got out of bed an hour late because I forgot (or rather didn’t know) the clocks changed. I assumed it wouldn’t matter as I have a day off from the gym today and should have plenty of time to myself, but nope, time is quickly going down the drain. I’ve also wasted time Googling Deftones album sales. Their ‘Koi No Yokan’ has only sold 13,000 copies? That really doesn’t sound right at all. I was also surprised to learn their debut is their third most successful album as I always considered it a hidden gem. Nope, it’s a plain gem. I think it had mediocre reviews, I think that’s what I meant by hidden gem. See, I can think rationally, I just don’t like percentages. Anyway, to start the day I went shopping with my dad! Sadly all the Easter eggs were sold out. Or was it sad? Instead I ended up buying a collection of chocolates. Very easy to share, right? Rather that than buying 7 eggs for the whole family, that seems like too much to me as my dad bought some eggs too. They’d just be huge stacks of them. My brother explained he wouldn’t be visiting me today, so I wasn’t in too much of a hurry to get the eggs, he SHOULD be visiting tomorrow, if not I’ll be binge eating on my own. That would be ‘Chocolate Binge Badday’ I can’t even begin to work out the percentage of irony that would be.

Moving on, my mood always drops this time of year. Well, I used to be fine, but when reaching the age of 31 or 32, something snapped and all of a sudden things got even worse for me, I have no idea why, it seems like a random number to me. Maybe that’s why I have a deep rooted dislike of surprises. I THOUGHT I didn’t like them because they interfere with my schedule, on second thoughts it could well be a mood thing. It makes me bitter because the media tells us surprises are fun and wacky. My idea of a surprise now is darkness and despair. Why don’t people put more money into truly effective antidepressant research? Imagine if everyone was happy, can you picture a happy killer? No? So do the research and see and end to knife crime, I’m serious. I certainly can't picture a killer who isn’t angry that makes even less sense. So why not make a drug that reduces anger? You put the drug in an Easter egg, only making the experience nicer, that’s what I want to see happen, I really don’t care about mobile phones that fold in two. They have been advertised as amazing, but does folding give you better connection to the internet, cheapen the cost of usage, etc.? No, you’ve been tricked.

On the plus side, my mood is pretty good now as the weather is cool (if you’re confused by THAT you’re not alone) and my mood has further lightened since deciding not to take this blog writing business too seriously. Me complaining of myself writing gibberish rings a bell and I could worry I’ve rehashed old material, but I’m sure many think everything I say is gibberish anyway. Let those kind of worries go and you’ll be happier inside, no doubt. I’m not sure if you’ll make other people happier, you could annoy them, but if you talk nonsense to someone what are they going to do? Call the police? Maybe if you shout nonsense at people they will, but keep your cool and you’ll be ok. Now what to say? I know, I will be enjoying some chocolate later as I’m rather peckish. That has nothing to do with the fact it’s Easter, I always eat chocolate. Again, if you want to see a real confectionary wigout, you wait until tomorrow. Exciting stuff. Now what to say? To the kids out there, work hard in school and study maths, it’s important. You think working with percentages won’t ever be any use to you? You’re wrong, it helps you with problem solving in general. I didn’t do well in maths and look what happened. Now bye!