Random Get Together (Blog 482)

Once again, I have little to blog about, so why not write about my brother’s family simply visiting me and my dad? As I wait for them to arrive, I’m watching some TV and a program that I at first thought was called ‘Homes Under the Hamster’. Obviously it was actually called Homes Under the Hammer. I’m wondering why anyone would make a program about a hamster living on top of a house, but at the same time, why make a program about a hammer on top of a house, if anything that sounds more boring. More manly, but at least hamsters do something. If it was on top of a house, would that suggest the hamster is king? Now that I think of it, I would like to watch such a show. What rules would it make? How would it interact with parliament? etc., etc. What makes the misunderstanding super weird is the fact I’ve actually watched Homes Under the Hammer, before. After that there WAS a program I was unfamiliar with called ‘The Royal Beat’. Beat has a few meanings so for all I know the show could be about the king dancing to disco music or it could involve the king hitting others. I have no idea.

Right! The visit is now over so I can comment on it. One of my nieces and my sister in law couldn’t come as they had a dentist appointment. On a Sunday? I didn’t even know dentists were open on a Sunday. Maybe emergency dental care is, but my niece is only 5 or 6, she must have been eating far too many sweets. I feel terrible, it was my idea to share the chocolates with those who could make the visit. (My brother, my other niece and nephew). I never even knew my sister in law liked sugary foods so much, she must have kept it secret. If so, there are people to help you. Not me, I only make the problem worse, but maybe a dietician can help you? Or a nurse? Hang on… my sister in law IS a nurse, she can help herself! She’ll be kicking herself when I tell her that. Joking of course, I’m sure everyone in my brother’s family has healthy teeth and eats properly.

Crisps were also shared, but I had eaten some beforehand so I didn’t have any. You may have noticed I talk about food quite a lot, so does my brother. One of the first things we talked about was what takeaways we had recently. It’s a very frequent conversation starter, in fact. My sibling isn’t exactly the same as me though, whilst I obsess over pizza and music, my brother obsesses over kebabs and motocross bikes. I’m wondering what my nieces and nephew will be into as they grow up. Maybe they’ll be doll collectors who love Burger King and a toy car collector who loves McDonald’s. A simple family, but filled with joy. My family also talked about the mini steam engine that was on display in the living room. My dad said it was either 300 pounds or 300 kgs. If he could lift the front of it up, I’m assuming 300 lbs, problem solved. I repeatedly tell my brother to watch Key and Peele’s super funny sketch ‘Rap Album Confessions’ as I think it’s one of the duo’s better ones, but he keeps ignoring me. His loss, he can keep thinking about food, which of course, I get.

Surprise, surprise, my brother had a motorbike video to show me and my dad on his mobile phone. He thinks that kind of stuff is impressive, I think making the phrygian bb3 scale sound musical is impressive. However, to explain why that is, I’d have to give a huge lecture and would the children care? Probably not, nor would my brother. My dad on the other hand may pretend to care, he’d probably say it’s one of his favourite scales even though he has no musical education. Wow, I guess he worked things out for himself. If my family wouldn’t be interested in the lecture, how about you? The thing is, most chords are either major or minor, but the scale just discussed wouldn’t fit into either! It may sound silly to you, but even someone saying ‘phrygian bb3’ to me makes me chuckle. In that respect, it could well be the world’s shortest joke! You can tell it to your music teacher. They’d just be like ‘You’re alright, you! Welcome to the class.’

Now what to say? Food, steam engine, motorbike videos, ignored Key and Peele… ah yes, we also briefly discussed plans for Christmas. Well, at the moment there are none! What I do know is there will be a London Comedy Writers party soon and THIS time I will be printing a map off, not drawing a super basic one for myself. I basically just guessed where to go last year, this year must not be the same. In terms of gifts, I told my brother I just wanted CDs and chocolates as I always do and he said he didn’t know what he wanted, yet. Well, to start things off, how about some Key and Peele? A lifetime of laughs and it’s free on Youtube! He better make his mind up soon, or he’s getting the book of unusual scales and a CD of raga music. You wouldn’t know this, but I’ve spent an hour now wondering what gift to give my brother and how to continue this blog. Does that make me a thoughtless person? Is the idea of giving really so strange to me? Evidently, yes. Here’s an idea: 5 or so copies of the Stone Roses debut album, that way no one need share! :O That’s not self-centred, that’s kind. And on that happy note… Bye!