Rubbish Steam Fair Part 2 (Blog 462)

On Sunday, I went to another steam fair with my dad, partly because I wanted a break from my site. After about three seconds of getting to the place, I thought I made a mistake with the annoying sunny weather and all, and the fact I’d likely be doing next to nothing for the next few hours. Whoops. One of the first things we did was browse the various steam engines, I also saw a vehicle with a machine gun attached to it. I wonder why it was there. It clearly wasn’t steam powered, maybe it wasn’t supposed to be there and was left by someone just as frustrated as me. Let’s blow up everything, that would pass the time. I could drive whilst the mysterious vehicle owner fires the weapon or it could be the other way around, it doesn’t matter. ‘But what if you shoot a person by mistake?’ Don’t worry, I’d imagine everyone would be running away in fear. I didn’t notice any crazy people at the fair, so there is a chance the military vehicle wasn’t owned by a madman… unless he ran away for whatever reason. :S

After an hour or so of sluggish schizotypal walking, sitting in my dad’s van in silence was strangely satisfying. At least I didn’t have to put any more energy into my rambling. Not an ideal fair experience obviously, actually I’d be better off at home, sitting on my chair and doing nothing. How’s that for a slogan? Don’t worry, it can either be blamed on mental illness or my dad. Remember my Flipping Boring Steam Fair blog? Things on Sunday were more or less exactly the same. As the saying goes, ‘doing the same thing more than once and expecting different results is the definition of insanity.’ Perhaps further proof the steam fair wasn’t actually that bad, the problem is with me and my faulty brain. :)

Interestingly, I noticed a steam engine I guess boiler opener(?) in the shape of two hands, much like those of a clock’s. The hands were pointing down in a frown shape. Were my troubles subconsciously caused by that? Didn’t I notice the same kind of thing at another fair? Now that I think of it, I could well have seen the exact same steam engine again! Not TOO unlikely as lots of steam engine fans know each other and bring their contraptions around with them in a kind of tour of the local area. A rubbish tour. After more roaming around the fair, me and my dad spotted a number of fooderies. One of them had a sign saying ‘Authentic Indian Samosas.’ At first I read that as ‘Authentic Indian SAS.’ What’s that? I don’t know, but it wouldn’t have been so strange, as last year there was an army recruitment centre at a similar event! It could also explain the abandoned light assault vehicle.

Instead, I got myself a Sprite and a what used to be called a ’99 ice cream’ because they were once 99p. This time around I paid £4.50 (well my dad did). I think the phrase ‘I got myself a four five oh’, or a ‘four fifty’ could catch on! More van sitting followed. Did I get a sugar buzz? Dear god no. Then again, better than standing. In the same place, I soon noticed a flag I’ve never seen before. It had a yellow background, had a white cross, and the cross had a red border. I still don’t know what it was, but I do know it was fixed to a caravan. Black Sabbath have a song called ‘Planet Caravan’, so why can’t be caravan countries be a thing? Sure seeing an absolutely tiny country that can move around at maybe 70 mph isn’t something you see every day, but Black Sabbath teaches us it is possible.

After noticing that, ‘I’ bought myself some Korean chicken and rice. Chinese and Korean chickens are pretty similar, but I did notice the spices are a little different to my local Chinese restaurant. I don’t know what it was, but a small leaf on top of the chicken really added to the overall flavour. Some kind of magic leaf, I wish I knew its name. I did recognise at least one ingredient in my just purchased meal, I think you can find the same one in Subway bread, I think it’s called ‘hearty Italian’! More sitting in the van followed. The sitting wasn’t as good as the chicken, but again, beats standing. It was there I noticed a horse going on a rampage and it took about five people to capture it. Did a police horse get spooked not long ago during rioting in England? There was certainly no rioting at the fair so I wonder what was going through the animal’s mind. Maybe it was as bored as me.

More food followed! That time I got strawberries covered in chocolate. Pretty good, but was it as good as seeing three people wearing AC/DC shirts? Because that’s what happened. Well it was at least two, it’s possible I saw the same guy twice. Did you know it’s normal for people to forget what shop keepers look like after just a few seconds? I wonder if it just applies to shop keepers. Would people forget me if I worked in a shop? Oh, I’ll make you remember me. More sitting with my dad followed, but this time not in my dad’s van, but on some guy’s mini steam roller carriage. I went on a journey through the fair for five minutes or so, and the next thing I know, I ended up in a huge field with an audience of a few hundred people all staring at me, my dad and the driver! Not only that, we were getting talked about by someone on a loud speaker.

A little weirded out, I jumped off the carriage and then over a short metal fence so I could leave the area. The downside was that I lost my dad, but I found him after another 5 minutes…. …. … More standing around followed! The day was coming to a close and almost all of it sucked. It’s too late now, but I should have imagined the hands on the steam engine weren’t frowning but were smiling and the ‘face’ was upside down. I guess there’s always next time. I recently said how I didn’t like The Ramones very much, but I had the band stuck in head for about half the day. I now know for a fact Sheena is a punk rocker, as I repeated the lyric endlessly. I really was hoping my brother and his family would turn up to fair, but they didn’t. That makes sense as he said he wasn’t going, but it’s good to hope right? And…. bye!