Seriously, all my problems are caused by technology. (Blog 463)

Yesterday, I didn’t have my computer as I was getting it repaired. What could I do as I waited for it to be picked up? Very little, other than come up with more jokes and blog by hand about what was going on at the time. The first joke I came up with at around 9:15, as I watched the TV was ‘Who is the best with guns? Aim-ee.’ Was that a new joke? It did ring a bell, but I couldn’t be sure as again, I didn’t have my computer. (I find out if jokes are new by searching key words such as ‘aim’, and the rest of the joke will follow. Simple. Thank God I don’t have to look through all my jokes one by one, that would make me very unhappy). Turns out the punchline wasn’t new, but the rest of the joke was sort of different. Not TOO bad in the grand scheme of things. Just not good enough to add it to my collection of jokes. Here’s a joke that IS new: ‘Why was the female, fraudulent bird bad practice? It was miss con duck.’

I got a call at 9:30 explaining my faulty computer would be collected in 30 minutes. That meant that after that, I could leave the house to get my almost daily hash browns and crisps. Also, as I was told my computer could well be fixed in 24 hours, hopefully I’d get it back on Wednesday morning and I could eat my Wednesday night kebab free from worry. Could I eat my hash browns free from worry? Nope. I was too concerned at what could be wrong with my Mac. Maybe getting hash browns from another place would add some spice to my life and distract me from my troubles? It was definitely an interesting thought. In the meantime, I wrote another punchline I got when looking at my CD collection: ‘Indie scribe-able.’ Does ‘scribe’ mean ‘write’? If so, here’s the full joke: ‘Why couldn’t the writing rock band be described? It was indie scribe-able.’

Soon after the joke and after my Mac was picked up, my dad said he would be going to the garden centre. THAT would distract me, who doesn’t find plants relaxing? I soon found out my dad DIDN’T buy any plants, but a spade-like thing. Is that relaxing? Quite the opposite, it’s an aggressive looking tool. :S I couldn’t find any of the new hash browns at the alternative, non-petrol station shop that I enjoyed a few days ago, instead I got a pepperoni slice! I also got a cinnamon roll with cream on top, but all of the ingredient got stuck to the packaging. A shame, as we all know I LOVE cream. Both foods were enjoyed at home, and it was there I came up with another joke, but as suspected again, it wasn’t new so there’s no point sharing it now. -_-

You know what? Chilling out, watching TV as I worked wasn’t actually THAT bad. I was actually having a better time than I did at the latest steam fair, no lie! An absolutely horrible advert for the place, but don’t worry I blame the misery on the sunny weather, compounded by the fact I was with my dad for a very, very long time. I was considering calling this blog ‘Techno Terror Part 2’, but I suppose it wasn’t true terror. Very annoying sure, but yeah, I did find the programs I watched to be strangely therapeutic. Maybe playing guitar would be a good thing to do? I’ve recently come up with a new lick! Combining blues scales with minor pentatonics is very common, but blues with the natural minor scale? Not so much. I call my lick ‘the natural minor blues hybrid mega lick!’ I played it a good few times, then continued with my notes.

Here’s another joke!: ‘Where does a confused Eleanor come from? Elle eh?’ Great, now here’s a new punchline: Arty-fact. The full joke? ‘Why was the truthful painting a relic? It was an arty-fact!’ I couldn’t Google if relics and artefacts were the same thing. I thought they were and yep, now I know they are! I soon found out that BBC news programs go on for a super long time. One section goes from 9 AM to 1 PM, then you get another hour of news on a different channel immediately after! Quite frankly, I was enjoying it. Here’s another punchline: Bay root! However, I’ve written lots of jokes about bays, and to be honest, I don’t truly know what a bay is. Google says bays are the same as inlets. All very good, but what are inlets? I can’t be bothered to find out. I’ll leave completing the bay root joke for those reasons.

After the abandoned joke writing, I spent a long time watching the news and doing nothing. At least I knew what was happening in the world? No, I kept seeing the same stories over and over again. It was helping me remember the stories though. Oh if only I was to be given a test on the news, then it would be all worthwhile. Maybe I could test myself? Right, there are forest fires in Greece, there is water in Mars, and there is something new about the Titanic. I’m not sure what. I’ve failed, haven’t I? I’ve failed the super short quiz I gave myself. :( At 1 PM, I was getting a little bored of all the news, but even so… better than Sunday. I was hoping I’d get a call soon from the computer place for that reason. After all, I paid £6 more for a faster service, the normal service costing a respectable £18.

A good percentage more, isn’t it? Not like in the garden centre where I saw £3 off an item costing around £125! So go to the place ASAP before you miss out. It was exactly 13:37 when the boredom really started kicking in. Not to worry, just six minutes later, I got the call I was hoping for, yet fearing. There were a few things wrong with my Mac, but it was fairly straightforward to sort out, so my Mac should be delivered back to me later on the same day! Time to write more jokes as I waited. Actually, no. I couldn’t think of any more. At 14:30, I walked my two dogs so my dad didn’t have to. That sounds like an act of kindness, but actually I was bored as explained, and I wanted to get my dad’s dog walking out of the way for him, so he could be indoors when I was at the gym and when my computer would be sent to me.

I finished walking the dogs at 15:10. Nice walk! One pet did a poo only 10 or so metres from a bin, so that was good as well. What was better, the scenery or the convenience? Probably the scenery, it really was very, very nice. The nearby bin was just nice. On Sunday, I got more sunburn despite the fact I was wearing a good amount of suntan lotion. Is there such a thing as ‘ok sunburn’? There has to be otherwise, what’s the point of the products?? They don’t have the slogan ‘it makes the sun just a LITTLE better’ do they?? Did I make the problem worse with my sunny walkings yesterday? I’d have to wait and see. Probably yeah. More TV followed, but crucially, not the news, I’d had enough of that.

I watched an antique repairing program instead, but the amount of telly in the day? A bit extreme. At 4 PM, I decided to stop taking notes as that’s the time of day I usually stop working and have a short rest before going to the gym. It was a good session, but not completely free from worry, which was annoying. That time I was concerned about my Wix site. I couldn’t login on Monday, because I cleared my internet history so those working on my computer couldn’t see it (don’t worry, I’m sure they wouldn’t, I later gave them five stars and left them a nice comment). The internet clearing meant I needed a Wix confirmation message to be sent to my mobile when I got my Mac back. However, it got sent to my old mobile phone number I don’t have any more! Don’t worry, it all got sorted out, obviously. I just have one nitpick with the computer company: A very good service, but when I saw my screen load for the first time, I was almost blinded by the brightness, so I had to turn it down. That’s all! However, I should warn those working with my computer may have eye problems. And blog over! Bye!