Staiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiines (Blog 496)

January was a ridiculously dull month, so I thought I’d treat myself to another trip to Staines! In the carpark and as always, I repeatedly checked if my car was locked, had a ticket showing through the windscreen, and if the headlights were turned off, etc. However, I didn’t check the latter as often as I usually do as I got fed up. Why? Because the sun was shining right on my lights, meaning I couldn’t tell if they were on or if it was the sun. I mean they shouldn’t have been left on, as it was day time and I didn’t put them on in the first place, but you can’t be SURE can you? If I did run my batteries flat by the time I was about to travel back home and I couldn’t start my car, at very least I would be making the most of the 24 hour ticket I was forced to buy. But that’s petty behaviour, obviously. The first (productive) thing in the town was visit the CD shop! The only Weezer album on sale was the one I already own, and the ZZ Top album I was interested in wasn’t there. Time to take a risk and buy another album I hadn’t heard of, I guess. (That was by a band that had a first initial near the end of the alphabet).

Ahhh, who are the mysterious group known as ‘Wunderhorse’? Whoever they are, they sound very Germanic, and as all fans of industrial metal know, that’s what you have to look out for. I think the band name means ‘Wonder Horse!’ That’s wonderful! Or should I say… wunderbar! Also in the shop and out of curiosity, I checked if Tool lowered the price of their latest album and made it available as a straightforward CD. Not some kind of mind blowing experience that comes with a book and special glasses or whatever it is you get, and nope, after all this time it seems you are forced to get all the extras. Whilst I wasn’t interested in a deep audiovisual experience, I was interested in a deep culinary experience and that’s what I assumed I would get when ordering my muffin and milkshake just a few metres away.

I have to say I didn’t seem to like the Bueno shake as much as the others I’ve had in the foodery. Could that be because my standards had recently been raised by the excellent Five Guys? If so, it’s a great advert for them. Or at very least an advert. Whether they want to be part of a mental health blog, some would say a mental health freak show blog, I don’t know. Papa Johns have never complained at least, on the contrary, they recently gave me too much food by mistake on two occasions. Well…. maybe it wasn’t a mistake. If not, thank you. It was way too much food and a part of me was even ever so slightly annoyed, (perhaps because the unpredictability of the situation didn’t make me feel in control and I lacked a feeling of power - the power over pizza), but on reflection I AM grateful. Anyway, after the muffin and shake, I bought a spicy Subway which I planned to eat at home!

As Subways go, it was pretty good! The company claim they’re not as good as ways (as they’re sub ways :P), but I disagree. Moving on, I’ve just done some Googling and Wunderhorse is an English band? Huh. That’s strange. However, they play alternative rock, indie and grunge? I like all those genres! Exciting stuff, and the album has no reviews on Allmusic.com? It’s mysterious, too! Ok, so they’re not German, but the band name IS German, right? Right?? Nope, an online translator says the word has simply been made up. There go my plans to learn the language, I thought it would be easy! Apparently the German for Wonder Horse is ‘Wunderpferd’, the band were way off! They were miles away and I feel stupid, no one wins.

Let’s listen to the album now… Ooh not bad! Or as the Germans say ‘Nicht bad!’ Or ‘Pretty gud!’ Or ‘Rather exggschellentgghgh’. Well that’s how the band probably describe their music, anyway. Well done, I believed you could speak the language. No, you know what? Maybe the band meant to combine English and German languages in their band name? If so, they have succeeded! It’s the kind of thing James Joyce would have done, his Finnegans Wake for example had MANY languages in it, sometimes multiple languages in just word! Did that add to the overall experience though, or did people really think ‘Well done…’? Because for me, one language is enough. You’d have to wonder why I would write a blog for example in 2 or 3 or even more languages. The reader would just be like ‘This person is really smug…’ And on that depressing note for the band… bye!