Staines Part 1,000,000,000 to the power of 1,000,000,000 times by 1,000,000,000,000 (Blog 528)

You may have read one of my interviews on this site where I talked about how my left hand is less veiny than my right, suggesting I should naturally be using my latter hand more, even though I’m left handed. Have I written about that before? Maybe two or three years ago? I’m not sure. How do I put things right? Not by writing about something drastically different but by journaling about me going to Staines again! Sounds lazy? Yes it is lazy, it’s that time of the month where I’m absolutely exhausted with my site. Thank God I’ll be doing something different by reviewing more albums for Metal Rules in the following days. Right! To start my shopping trip, I got the boring stuff out of the way. Has anyone ever been excited shopping for vitamin D supplements? If so, I’d like to meet him, he really does love life although he could get annoying. I soon found the vits had been moved, though! Not seriously or anything, all I had to do to find them was go back to the same place I went to last time and then turn around. They were still in the vitamin section and that’s the main thing. That was a relief. What after all this time I hadn’t been taking vitamins, but maybe ADHD meds for women because of the staff putting the wrong products in the wrong places? Or anything else random? Again, the supplements were in the vitamin sections both times and rightly so. The label on the product confirmed that, so no need to worry.

Next came the shoe shopping! Unlike with the vitamins, I wasn’t particularly concerned with what shoes to pick, as I’d just be using them for the gym. Or rather to ruin at the gym, I give them a one year life expectancy. I saw some of the cheapest black shoes on offer (the best colour for shoes, I think) and asked for them in size 9. They only had 9 and a half! Who knows, maybe my feet have grown half a size in the last year or so. On second thoughts, that doesn’t sound likely. My toe nails could grow that much, but growing your nails just so you can fit into larger shoes is madness. It just sounds like a strange goal, doesn’t it? Although it would be something for psychiatrists to look out for if I stopped taking my Clozapine. Basically anything could happen. Size 9.5 was too big! However, there were black size 9 shoes that looked more or less the same as the prior and they were just right. I guess the blue shoes that were on display looked pretty cool, but you have to be careful with what you wear. Apparently if you wear blue shoelaces, it means you’ve killed a policeman! God knowns what fully blue shoes mean. When buying my shoes, I was told that I’d have to give my email address to get a receipt, but I said I couldn’t be bothered. Live on the edge. But what are my shoes going to do anyway? Fall apart or catch fire? Trying them on is surely enough.

It’s with great shame I say that I forget how to do my shoe laces up at the gym for about a minute. I wonder what’s worse, the fact I forgot, or the fact so many people saw. Never mind though, I could work out how to tie my shoes up in the shop. Very easily in fact. Doesn’t sound like something to celebrate, does it? Yeah? Well you have no idea how I felt, back in the gym. Next came the REAL shopping. Burger time! In Five Guys, I ordered a burger and was given an order number, even though I was the only customer. I guess it’s good to be sure. I sat in the same place as the time I went Christmas shopping, that being by a window, meaning I could keep my eye on the people outside and the staff. Just in case. I didn’t order a milkshake as they are too big. They lost a sale in that respect, it’s like the fish and chip shop all over again. Stop giving me extra chicken! The music in the background was weird, it being just feedback over a drumbeat. Normal rock did follow though. Oh, I do apologise Five Guys! I saw a customer enter then leave with a small sized shake. I guess you just have to ask for a small size, simple really. When it was me that was leaving, I threw my rubbish in the bin obviously, but a voucher for free chips as well. I’ll say it again: Stop giving me more food I don’t want!!! It’s not kind, it’s annoying.

Even though I learnt that you could actually get smaller shakes, I went somewhere else for one anyway, just for the variety, and also so I could get a muffin. When I was eating the muffin, a member of staff asked if I wanted a napkin. What are you trying to say? I eat like a child? It’s not my fault the thing fell apart is it? That’s your fault. And calling it a Dubai chocolate muffin? It tasted like regular chocolate to me, I would have preferred a blueberry muffin. A bad advert for Dubai, but they can probably take it. After everything was apparently noticeably messily eaten up, I went to HMV! I bought a ZZ Top album for obvious reasons. The music playing in the CD shop was much more normal than in the burger place. If not, it could put the customers off buying the products. They’d be like ‘modern music isn’t as good as the stuff I grew up with.’ To end the shopping trip, I planned to get a notepad as my paper levels are running low. Note how the shopping trip got better and better, then fizzled out at the end. That was intentional, it follows the classic structure of books, films, etc. You build up the action/drama, then you get a relief and the film/novel ends shortly after. Anyway, the shop had a sign saying it closed on the 12th of July. That’s yesterday how annoying is that? And what’s the point of saying when the shop closed? To annoy me? If so, it worked. I bet the notice wasn’t even true, it probably gets updated every day, repeatedly saying the shop had closed just a day before. Even worse, when I got in my car I realised I lost my notes! Do you know what that means? It means someone out there may have picked up my writings and thought to himself ‘… this person’s an idiot.’ And that was the day out! Bye!