Staines Part Simon’s Special Number (Blog 439)

I’ve been to Staines a ridiculous amount of times, and as explained a while ago, I had to invent a super massive number that I called ‘Simon’s Number’ to describe the amount of visits. I’ve been there again a short while ago, so what comes after that number? An even bigger one that I call ‘Simon’s Special Number’. That’s a super duper massive number, only the greatest minds can comprehend. Sorry for starting this blog off heavy, but the intellectuals will appreciate it. Right! On my way to the town I saw some road diversion warnings. Oh no, the normal route had been changed? Trip over! :S Not to worry, the closed road didn’t affect me, so the fun was still on. I was in need of new toothpicks and vitamin D supplements, and as I’m sure you can understand, buying such items wasn’t particularly entertaining, so I got that shop out of the way first. After a bit of wondering around I asked a member of staff if they had any of the former products.

I was told no, then I was given directions which confused me. I don’t think I was told to go to a different shop, which baffled me even more. I was effectively told no and yes at the same time. I pretended I understood though, as other people could hear, so I just looking sensible as I secretly skipped buying the picks. The staff member clearly understood much deeper concepts than me, so maybe I should show her my special number and see what she thinks. I think she’ll be impressed. When I asked someone else about the vitamins, I was asked what strength I needed. Oh no. I said ‘maybe 10,000?’ I was told that was very strong, so I was asked if I meant 1,000. I said yes to that, but I wouldn’t find out if that was correct until I got home. If I did end up getting 10,000 strength vits and I needed 1,000 not only would the former not help my bones, it could end up deforming them! Too much of a good thing!

Next up came the CD shop browsing. Earlier on I was thinking to myself I wanted to buy an Everclear album, so I looked for the band immediately. Because there was complete mix up of styles in the store and the CDs were sorted out alphabetically, rather than by genre, the first or second artist I came across was Sophie Ellis-Bextor. So what? Well, at the very time of my browsing, a Sophie song was playing on the radio station!! There didn’t seem to be any Everclear albums, but I wasn’t disappointed as I was high on the coincidence. In the end I bought a Steve Lukather album I was unfamiliar with. I know he’s a really good guitarist and I know he was or is the guitarist of band Toto. I like instrumental guitar music, I don’t really like Toto, so I took a bit of a risk. Was the album good? I’d find out when I got home.

Next up came the milkshake and muffin! They have flake shake now? Wowee. So good, obviously. No need to comment any more on that. After the various eating and slurping I went back to the car park and started to drive home. When leaving the park, I noticed that someone didn’t seem to see the green traffic light. I have been driving for almost 15 years, and you know what? I’ve never had the opportunity to use my car horn! Well, that time was today! Turns out the driver in front of me did seem to see the green light, her car mis-started or something, so it wasn’t really a legitimate use of my horn, which is sad. I really should have used my horn when that guy reversed into my a while ago, but I was too shocked to do so. :(

Also on the drive home, I noticed someone right in front of me skipped a red traffic light. Patience! Where is it?? The exact same thing happened on my way to Staines, and not only did they skip a red light, the driver overtook me to do so, as I waited! Anyway, sadly the Lukather CD wasn’t instrumental and it was a bit annoying, but maybe it will grow on me. There’s good guitar playing at least, but yeah, too Toto-like. It’s very calming though. If I ever feel anxious, I guess I will have to go to my CD collection and seek out Steve and his admirably chilled out band members! Oh yes, and remember how I said I would be expecting royalties for my book, The Danger of Proverbs? Sadly I’ve only made I think 34p. I guess I sold an E-book, not a physical one. On the not so good note, bye! (Oh yes, and 1,000 strength was the right amount! :D)