Staines to the Point of Mental Ridiculousness (Blog 566)

Yesterday, I went to Staines again! To start the shopping trip, I bought two toothbrushes. Not really worth mentioning (apart from then). After that though, I bought some new shoes as I only have one good pair of trainers left, and when they wear out, which will probably be soon, I don’t want to walk around with shoes with large holes in them obviously. There’s looking punk and then there’s looking in a very bad way. As I shopped, ‘Hey Ya’ by Outkast was playing on the radio. I wanted to point out that parts of it were in 11/4, but I saw no musicians. Did the employees have at least GCSE music education? Maybe, but I wasn’t willing to take that risk. Also, when I tried on the first pair of shoes I was interested in, I asked where the shoelaces were. They were right there on the shoes, I looked like an idiot. What I really meant though, was where were the ENDS of the shoelaces so I could tie them up. They were well hidden inside the shoes and I quickly realised that, regaining my dignity. Sadly size 9s were too big for me and they didn’t have any 8s, so I had to try another shoe.

The next shoes I tried were available in 8s, but even they were a bit too big for me. Either my feet have been shrinking over the last year or so, the shoes weren’t really size 8, OR they ARE but the shoes will quickly end up fitting my feet after a bit of walking around in them. I think the latter is most likely. I could have asked for size 7s, but I don’t think I’ve done that for 25 years or ever more than that, and also, I didn’t want to feel like a dwarf. There’s nothing wrong with dwarves obviously, in fact they are worshipped by some people! Ah, Google says fictional dwarves are worshipped by fictional people. I thought there was something weird about what I just said, which is why I Googled if it was true. I was close, though. Right, there’s nothing wrong with dwarves obviously, but I’m not a dwarf (technically) so I don’t want dwarfish feet, as I wouldn’t be able to walk properly, which I think is fair enough. I’d keep falling over, and even worse it would look comical.

Oh yes, Outkast wasn’t the only thing I heard, I also heard an alarm for a few seconds. Oh no, someone had stolen some shoes… I didn’t notice anyone doing anything about that though, so either it was a false alarm, or it’s really easy to steal. If I had to guess, it was the former, but I have heard lots of stories. Anyway, when buying the shoes I wanted (or perhaps kinda wanted or even worse didn’t want) I was told to rate the customer service. I gave a smiley face! See, it’s not immature, it’s literally what someone asked of me. Therefore there was nothing wrong with the wowed face I gave when completing a survey about my latest doctor appointment. (Yes I know I said I wouldn’t bother doing that as my time had been wasted, but I couldn’t resist). I’ll tell you what was annoying, I had so many things on my mind in the shoe shop, I didn’t remember to note one other thing down and I forgot what that was! >:(

Next came the CD shopping! I noticed a Bruce Dickinson album which interested me, partially because he’s the singer of Iron Maiden but mainly because the CD case was thin and I was hoping to squeeze it into my collection without having to rearrange all my other shelved albums. Lot of shelves. When I got home I would find it wasn’t quite thin enough so I’m going to have to spend a good chunk of my day sorting everything out. I also bought a Weezer album, partially because it’s towards the end of the alphabet, but mostly because I really like Weezer. Definitely looking forward to that! There is one nitpick though: The album is called ‘the green album’. It’s not green, it’s lime. Ok, lime is a shade of green, but I think ‘the lime album’ sounds better and of course it’s more precise. It’s like someone asking how old someone is and then them saying ‘about 50’. ‘Yes, but how old are you exactly? This is important as it’s for your medical records…’ Then the person would say ‘Ok, 52’. It’s better, isn’t it? Many would say crucial. I mean right??

When leaving that shop and entering the cafe I STILL couldn’t remember what I wanted to say about my shoe shopping, ruining my milkshake and muffin. Not only that, I got the dreaded brain freeze. However, a better name for that would be cheek freeze, my brain was completely fine. When walking back to my car, I finally remembered what I wanted to say about shoes: ‘I only wanted a cheap pair as I mainly wanted to put them to their limits at the gym, rather than to show off with pride.’ In hindsight, I guess I should have bought two pairs for different purposes. It’s a reasonable thing to mention I guess. Not HILARIOUS or anything, but yeah, definitely something to point out. As I was driving home I was still feeling a little peckish, so I decided to buy a chocolate bar from a petrol station. I’ll say it again: Sugar addiction is serious. I liked the chocolate bar, though. And that’s basically all I have to say about that shopping trip! Oh yes, also I’m wondering what to call the next one… Maybe something like hyper mega super duper extreme hyper extreme. Not catchy, but I’m all out of options! Bye!