Techno Troubles Trilogy (Blog 459)

Yesterday, I had to update my computer again. It couldn’t be as bad as last time, could it?? I mean this time I didn’t leave things over a month too late, surely that’s what caused my problems a short while ago? Nope, when I tried installing the update it kept getting stuck again… … . AAARGGHH!!! I Googled what the problem could be and the site said it could be memory problems on the part of my computer. (Of course it would be on the part of my computer, why would MY memory affect how my Mac works?? That would be so strange). To create some space on my computer, I deleted a few hundred albums I received when reviewing for a couple of music sites. That didn’t bother me too much as I only rarely love the albums I get, but the fact many of them were very rare was PRETTY annoying. I then tried updating my computer again and it still didn’t work!!

Ok, keep cool, Simon. What did I do the last time I updated my computer? I put my computer in safe mode and installed the update using a program called ‘Terminal’, didn’t I? But what was the code that I used?? Argh! For perhaps the first time in my life, I found a use for my internet browsing history. When surfing Wiedemanncomedy, I found out the date I posted my Techno Terror blog, and then I searched for that date in my history, to find the internet site that gave the code. The code ended in 14.5, which is a reference to the name of the update ‘Sonoma 14.5.’ However, the new update I needed to install was called ‘Sonoma 14.6’. Would the code work if I used the exact same input, but changed the end of it to ’14.6’? It was the only thing I could think of.

At first things were looking good, as Terminal said the update was indeed downloading. I could have listened to music as I waited, but I didn’t want to associate various bands with the anxiety I was feeling at the time, so I waited in silence. Nope, the update didn’t work, I was right to be anxious and was right not to listen to music. ZZ Top would be ruined! I tried using the Terminal program once more and for whatever reason, it seemed to work and I was given a new app to install. Could I listen to ZZ Top, after clicking on it? Whilst things were looking promising, I wasn’t completely in the clear. I was hoping the app I was given wasn’t just a repeat of Sonoma 14.5, as my use of code was pretty DIY, experimental and very similar. As I was against the idea of listening to music, I played some guitar as I watched TV.

I quickly got a bit bored, so I tried to come up with some jokes, instead. Still no ZZ Top on my stereo, but how about a joke about the band? Here goes: ‘What band wears clothes that are simple to make? Easy Top.’ Eventually, I noticed the download bar getting stuck with the message ‘One minute remaining.’ It went on for about an hour! Why did it have to get stuck there of all places? Super nerve-racking stuff. On the plus side, I could play my special number game I mentioned in my monologue section of my site as I waited. Multiple times in fact, I tapped 7 over and over again, meaning I should be extremely lucky with the whole situation I was in. I’d soon find out. I also came up with another joke at the time, that being ‘Why did the strong man called Ian and with a hurt knee compete in the disabled olympics? He was a power limp Ian’. Was the joke any good? That's for you to decide. What I do know is I’ve actually written a similar joke before, having just checked.

As things were still stuck on the one minute mark, I decided to watch more TV. Again, ZZ Top are completely fine, but now I’m starting to associate anxiety with home buying programs, and a TV road trip program featuring Ralph Little. I really was ruining my life. As I was watching the olympics, someone said the word ‘unflappable’. That’s definitely a solid bird joke punchline, I will get back to on a later date with the full joke! Aha! Success! Eventually the program was almost installed and my computer restarted! However, before everything was completely done and done, I went to the gym. It was a bit annoying because as always I wanted a care free session with maximum peace of mind, but I couldn’t get it because of the damn update! It sure felt good when I got home and everything was fine though. The downside of the whole situation is that I now associate silence with anxiety. And… bye!