(Very) Early Health Checkup (Blog 534)

I had a thorough, three tubes full blood test in February at my local doctor to see how my general health was. The checkups are supposed to be once every year, so why am I getting another one tomorrow at the time of typing? I asked about that and was told that such appointments will be syncing with patient’s birthdays from now on. My birthday was over a month ago now, but that hasn’t exactly upset me or anything, it’s close enough. I don’t really like the idea of getting a blood test on my exact birthday, I want to do things that are fun, like all reasonable people. Who sees blood tests as one of the highlights of the year? Forget feeling sorry for people who are sad, such a person is screwed. Would a slice of pizza ease your pain? It’s stuffed crust… Please have some, I buy too much of the stuff if anything. :) Nurses are known for being compassionate people suggesting they think I DO want to get tested on such a day. Nope, not really. Bloodletting on the day BEFORE my birthday makes sense as I’d get it out of the way for a good year, giving me that tiny bit of extra peace of mind on my B-day, but the amount of peace is minimal. What really is scaring me is the large Mac update coming out sometime in Autumn. I simply can’t handle it. Yesterday I thought my computer kept beeping, but thank God it was the fire alarm signalling a change of batteries would be needed. Even a small fire would be preferable to something being wrong with my Mac.

About a week ago now, I got a text message telling me to get my blood pressure recorded, before the visit. You can’t do that at the doctor’s? You’d have thought the device would be very rudimentary. Apparently not, so I got my BP checked in the local chemist. For a good £5. -_- How is anything over 10p justifiable? Even 1p would probably cover the cost of the batteries. And I swear the person taking my pressure was trying to make me nervous so I gave a higher reading, there was something not quite right about the situation, it was just a vibe I got from him, maybe I’m being paranoid. I did give a higher score than usual, but it was still in the normal range, so I’m not that annoyed. If I wanted to impress someone with my BP, I WOULD be annoyed though, but I’m wondering who that would be. Maybe Usain Bolt? Why would I ever meet him, though and how would I bring up the topic of my BP? I guess where there’s a will, there’s a way. It would obviously be odd if I was so excited about my health I just had to email/write to him, especially as a low BP from me would probably be something to worry about. I wasn’t desperate enough to lie about the reading when I entered it online, though. There was actually an example of blood pressure readings on the site and by pure coincidence it was almost exactly the same as mine! Would I be believed if it WAS the same or would people think I was taking the P? Hm.

I’ve had a small lump on my neck for a couple of weeks or so, but I think it’s just a cyst, especially as it seems to be getting smaller, but a small part of me worries it could be a tumour. I doubt that though, as I got my dog to sniff it and if there was something wrong with me, it would sound upset when it barked, and it didn’t. I think it may actually be caused or at least worsened by anxiety (again), and who do I blame? The people working at Apple. Make your downloads more intuitive, please!!!! I’m probably not going to mention the lump to the nurse, though. If I do, I may get asked ‘is something bothering you?’ How would I say ‘Yes, I’m going to update my computer in a month or so?’ without sounded so stupid? My hives are long gone on the plus side, Cysts and Hives, sounds like a badass metal band. It’s just the explanation behind the name is embarrassing. Let’s see if Encyclopaedia Metallum lists such a name already… It’s new! My death metal band name ‘Eternal Stab’ is new as well, but what would I call the debut album? I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I think Judas Priest’s made up phrase ‘desolisating the curse’ sounds pretty cool. Right, a good three paragraphs have been done and I haven’t even been to the doctor’s yet, not bad! It would be an exceptionally large comedown if I was told I WAS dying, but again I’m 100% sure I’m not.

Right! It’s now Thursday and I’m back from the doctor’s! Again, I was wondering if I should mention the small lump on my neck as it was very small at the time of waking up. As I did an unexpected Mac update the night before, causing stress, does that prove the cyst or whatever it was WASN’T caused by stress? No idea. When I got to the doctor’s I decided to tell the nurse about the lump just in case, and when I said it was getting smaller, she didn’t even bother looking at it which I thought was funny. It would literally take 2 seconds. I then got my blood taken, but just the one tube of it. I eventually asked why three tubes weren’t taken, she didn’t make a mistake did she? It’s just that if she’d need another 2 tubes, I’d have to get another needle in me, which would be annoying. Last time, I got the three taken with just the one needle. She then said I was right, last time three tubes were indeed taken, but today would be different. My knowledge on the subject made me feel powerful. As there was indeed a device that could take my blood pressure, I asked to get it checked just out of curiosity. As explained, I’d had it taken before, but my goal is to get my BP as low as possible, so I just had to get another reading. It was lower this time, but not a record for me. :( Because of my excessively sugary diet, I requested an instant blood sugar test but was told I couldn’t get one. My goal isn’t to get the lowest reading there, btw, as too little sugar is death. That was basically the whole appointment described in one neat paragraph. Because I arrived there early, I actually got home at the time of when my appointment should have been! Hahaha. Right, bye!