Birthday Part 2 (Blog 320)

Yesterday, I ‘celebrated’ my birthday again. Well I say celebrated, actually it was rubbish. To start the day, my car wouldn’t start, so I had to cycle to the gym. Not a big issue, right? Well, my dad had to saw off my bike lock because I lost the key. (Ok, that really didn’t bother me as it was his lock, if anything that was funny even if I didn’t show it). But then I had to pump up a tire. I had a dream earlier on it the day where my bike had a puncture which is interesting because I haven’t ridden my bike in almost two years. Ok, my bike didn’t have a punctured tire it was just flat, but it was damn close. To be fair though, my car not starting was at least partly a blessing in disguise, as when cycling I’d later find out the road to the gym was closed because of some kind of celebration. I rode right through it! The festivities really could have been about anything, people were just shouting the town name over and over again. So yeah, not only would I have been forced to turn back by the fair if I drove, I’d have been forced back by the most generic fair of all time.

When I came back, I got to work with my RPG maker. Getting the basics of the I guess ‘programming’ was boring at first even very annoying, but after a couple of short online vids, I found it’s fairly easy to use. Well, I say programming, the most complex thing I’ve done so far is create two different maps, by clicking the ‘create map’ button. (Ok, really I only worked out how to make multiple areas later on in the day, but I did do it eventually). There were ups and downs in the designing, sometimes I was thinking ‘this is cool’ other times I was thinking my time could be better spent watching people eating on Youtube, which is one of my main pastimes. After a couple of hours of creating, I left with my dad to go go karting. You read that right, my dad. My brother couldn’t come. Dear God.

I never really listen to the briefing all the drivers get anyway, but I listened even less yesterday as I didn’t care. The qualifying wasn’t particularly interesting, it was just people driving. Perhaps because I wasn’t putting my everything into it, I ended up ranking almost last. On the other hand, maybe I’m just not good at go karts. HOWEVER… the main race? I’d actually finish in the top half! I suppose because people were spinning off constantly. In that respect, the race was far more exciting than Formula 1, but of course to outsiders, the karts look like they’re going about 20 mph most of the time. But it doesn’t feel like that. Sensible Simon on the other hand? Didn’t spin off once. And overtaking my dad? Very satisfying. It was irritating how I got stuck behind a slow person for about three laps and couldn’t work out how to overtake him. Though maybe he helped me not to spin?? Positive Simon.

When I finished the race, I noticed my steering wheel had ‘Sodi’ written on it. Sodi karts are the slower ones and I booked the faster Dmax! No wonder I did so badly, it wasn’t because I couldn’t give a flip, it was because I was going 20 miles an hour less than everyone else! I checked the rear of my car and to be fair, it said ‘Dmax’, so it seems I didn’t get ripped off. Well actually, it’s a 50/50 chance, isn’t it? When the scores were printed out, I saw a racer called ‘Birthday boy’ and I beat him. I presume he had even more of a worse time than I did. On the subject of births, remember when I said I almost never see pregnant people and something fishy is going on? I’m sticking by that. My sister in law is pregnant again, and I haven’t seen her in ages, only confirming my suspicions. And don’t think my reasoning abilities/supernatural powers aren’t impressive because on the way back I was thinking ‘hurry up’ to a traffic light, and just a second later it changed to green!

When at home, I ordered a Chinese takeaway. I know I had a curry on Thursday, but I needed something to ease the pain of going go karting with my DAD. If you think that’s bad, I also gut a burger on Tuesday. Anyway, after the nomming, I got busy with my new computer program! I hate to beef this blog up with stuff you’re probably sick of hearing about, but on the plus side, it’s very easy for me to just copy and paste. Here’s some dialogue!: ‘’Hey pal. It’s good to finally see you.’ ‘I’m here because of cutlery, right?’ ‘Yes, dear Ekion. Let me explain. As you know, I really like spoons…’ ‘Ha ha, Rulkiop. Everyone knows that!’ ‘Yes. Let’s be frank. You and I both know that I’m dying. Before I go, I just want to feel my favourite long lost spoon in my mouth one more time. Mh-hm. Friend, will you find it for me?’ ‘Where is it?’ ‘If only I knew, if only I knew. All I know is it’s a long, long way away. So far away in fact. But you’re a wise adventurer, no? Shouldn’t be a problem, right?’ ‘Yes, I guess not. Will it be a perilous adventure?’ ‘So perilous’. ‘I see. Can I have some tips as to where the spoon may be?’ ‘Nope.’ ‘Oh. I guess I better ask around, then?’ ‘Cheers! Have a nice odyssey!’ ‘I’m a simple man, how do I get out of your house?’ ‘Of course. Go through the door at the back of the room.’ ‘Bye…’

‘Go through the door?’ Gaming instructions in the speech bubbles? A very neat trick. On another note, how and why did a mosquito bite me through my sock when I was in bed? I sleep in my boxer shorts, so bite my leg! A showoff pest trying to impress his fellow flies, maybe. Ok, on possibly my shortest paragraph of all time, bye!