Contest 106! (Blog 589)

It’s time for another Matt & co. teacher themed podcast blog, now let’s go! Matt talks about getting his students to put on a live show, and after the show he thinks to himself ‘That was a lot of fun. It destroyed my mental health, but it was a lot of fun’. Sounds harmless? Maybe it is, but you know what also is so called ‘fun’ and destroys your mental health? Drugs. I’m not saying Matt is on drugs or is even prone to taking them, I’m just saying whilst Matt is in a good place in life, others with that attitude may not be, that’s all. Matt previously pointed out how his mood can be up and down, and again I’m 100% sure that has nothing to do with drugs, even though you most definitely be up and down if you take them. Too much so. If you really are so numb inside you can’t do anything that makes you happy, maybe consider becoming a drama teacher and getting kids to perform? You just need to remember that Matt and co. often say they hate teaching. THAT’S up and down. You know what, I’m not even going to mention drugs from now on as Matt is a teacher and what I’ve just said is clearly highly inappropriate. Similarly, I should never accuse doctors, MPs, etc. of getting high and then crashing down. If they did, how would you trust them? I wouldn’t even trust them to drive me to see my fascinating uncle. No thanks, I’ll walk. Walk the 20 mile journey, in the rain and miserable. If the person on drugs is giving a TED talk though? Actually pretty interesting! Whoops, I’ve just realised that made me look like I believe performers could do drugs to be interesting. I guess that is an interesting story, but serial killers are interesting too, and that doesn’t make them likeable. Now I should apologise for implying people going through hard times and turning to drugs aren’t likeable, too! My word! I might as well say I hate the needy.

Another teacher says he caught a student cheating on an unimportant test and then asks the child ‘why not cheat on a test that matters?’ The teacher clearly didn’t mean that, though some people with autism could take that the wrong way. I hate to say this, but it could be the start of his life of crime… Here’s something very seriously alarming. A teacher said ‘You’ll always remember those kids’ and Matt replies saying ‘Oh 100%’. However, the subtitles said ‘you will always murder those kids’ and Matt said ‘Oh 100%’. Oh no. A.I. has turned evil. The Terminator films warned us all about this day and here it is. Ooh two of the teachers gave Matt a surprise present and he’s about to open it? It’s a huge box, so it’s not going to be drugs, unless the teachers splurged about a million pounds on him, if so, he must be a really valued teacher! Oh I am SO sorry again! Please accept my sincere apologies! Now what could it be?? New shoes! Pure white shoes… the colour of… not drugs, the colour of clouds! Clouds are nice! Matt said he’ll be teacher of the year with his new shoes. That suggests anyone could be teacher of the year if they had those shoes, including me. Well… they’re quite the shoes aren’t they? I’d be grateful too, Matt clearly is… Matt later says teaching is like being hit by a bus (again, being run over yet satisfied at the same time is a complex feeling) but the subtitles said ‘it’s like being hit by a boss’. That suggests A.I. thinks Matt is exaggerating and consequently corrected him. Not exactly evil, but murder IS.

Matt compliments a co worker (not appearing on the show), who has been a teacher of the year multiple times. Wow, she must have some damn nice shoes… A podcaster then talks about his experiences as a sub. I just feel the need to explain that refers to substitute teaching, not sandwiches and I will move on. After that, the teachers talk about a proposed idea where social workers could respond to domestic violence incidents instead of cops, and a podcaster says getting a 5 foot 3 petit lady named ‘Carol’ to deal with violent people on drugs is crazy. Is the name the problem? Maybe if she was the same height but called ‘Chris’, things would be better, it is masculine sounding and all. Maybe the podcaster has a weird theory about people named Carol being much gentler than usual. If so, it’s not necessarily a truly bad thing. A great teacher, but has weird theories, you can’t be good at everything, can you? I get it though, I think Sophie is a soft name, don’t make her a cop… Bruce on the other hand? Hire him immediately, again I get the teacher. A teacher then tells a story about a child who punched books and the parent’s response to that was ‘yeah, he doesn’t like to read’. A bit of an understatement there, that’s someone who thinks books are the enemy. I wonder what caused that behaviour? I hate to bring up Finnegans Wake again but… well, it’s an interesting theory, isn’t it? A child is expected to read about Gruffalos but instead reads utter nonsense? I get it, punch that book. That’s the video neatly summarised, now check it out, below!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAWeOH8JFkA