Booster Jab! (Blog 285)

Getting my vaccination tomorrow won’t be quite as interesting as last time, as I’m only travelling two miles in my car. Luckily, the vaccination centre is right next to the gym I go to, and I have a gym car park pass. Could I be cheeky and use the same car park to stop by illegally (not a huge crime, I know) and then walk to a place I’m not supposed to? Well, that answer has absolutely no drama whatsoever, as the parking area is indeed allowed to be used when getting a dose and for free. It’s almost annoying. However, I’m only allowed two hours. Two hours till what? Probably nothing. So yeah, tomorrow shouldn’t exactly be an exciting day, but I’m sure at least SOMETHING will be noteworthy. Knowing my luck, the only thing worth noting would be unpleasant side effects. Happy Christmas. -_-

To up the tension, I guess I could park across two spaces, rather than one. That would risk me getting me some complaints. Very exciting. Unethical though, it could result in desperate people getting sick or at least annoyed. Blogging too far. Or I could do a special three-space park where I park across as many spaces as possible. Who knows, maybe even four. I bet you’ve never seen that before. Changing the subject, yesterday I had a funny thought. In the London Comedy Writers meeting, someone had a script read out that was about burglars. One of its criticisms was ‘how could the characters up the tension in later episodes without causing offence?’ It’s a good point, characters stealing from others every episode could get boring. Maybe to take things further, the characters could end up burning houses down. Try making a comedy out of that.

NOW what to say in the meantime? Oh, I know. When booking my appointment on the phone, the guy on the other end sounded kind of upset, I’m assuming because of angry people getting told to wait for about fifteen minutes to get served. This may be controversial, but fifteen minutes is a long time. I kind of wanted to point that out to the guy, just so there was no confusion. You don’t want to go through life confused. In comparison, I thought Metallica invented thrash metal. Big mistake, Venom did. The latter certainly aren’t notable for any other reason, their music sucks! (Only joking, it’s not quite that bad. But the production? Jeez). Don’t worry, on the other hand I’m actually against shouting at tardy workers. Strongly against, in fact. What’s really worrying is, I assume the people getting angry weren’t really going through any significant stress at all. God knows what they’d be like organising their tax returns. ‘The tax return massacre’.

It’s booster day! Sadly, yesterday I spilt beer all over my socks, so I might smell like an alcoholic in the vaccination centre. Making things worse, the last paragraph COULD (quite wrongly) suggest I’m an extremely angry person for no real reason, and when you combine that with alcohol? Not good. Why don’t I just put on different socks? Well, even though I bought a whole pack of them just a few months ago, most of them have disappeared. You know socks. Let’s smell my socks right now… Ok, I’m going to have to find some new ones. Really annoying. Ok! I’ve just found some ODD socks, but they’ll have to do. What kind of person stares at people’s feet for ages? I should be fine. Now I don’t have to worry about strange nicknames such as ‘Beer Foot’. Not particularly upsetting, but it’s still an attack on my character. There are easier ways to attack me when taking into consideration my various writings, but… Whatever.

I’m back! Before the injection, I got some only recently discovered potato wedges, from a petrol station. Mm-hm. I couldn’t eat them in the gym car park could I, as I was a few minutes early to the centre? If that’s a crime, I don’t know what it’s called. Maybe unlawful snacking or trespass eating. Or car park misuse. Fortunately, I don’t think that is a crime, rather it’s everyday dickishness. Not to worry, I had a great idea: Eat the food outside the centre as I stood. Strangely, a staff member noticed I was eating (as she was about a metre away from me) and said to another member of staff that ‘I may be feeling sick, because I’d just eaten’. No, that’s what she said. I’m no doctor, but if SHE feels sick immediately after eating, something IS wrong, she must know that. How she found any work in the health industry is both puzzling and alarming.

Just before my jab, I was asked a number of questions about my health and medical history. Then I was asked something rather special: ‘Did I give my consent to have the vaccine?’ Wow. What kind of NUTTER books a vaccine appointment for the third time, queues inside a special building for vaccines for ages, and then says he doesn’t want one??? Millions of people have been immunised in England now, and if that’s even happened once, there really is no hope for humanity. God knows how such a person would behave in everyday life. He’d be a very interesting blogger though, and in that repsect I kinda relate to him. That’s all I have to say, really. Nothing illegal or even morally wrong. And on that inspiring note (a G# following an E)… Bye!