Brooklands Car Show! (Blog 578)

Yesterday, I went to Brooklands with my dad, brother, sister in law, two mini nieces and one nephew! Ok, ok, I did shave then BUT I rarely see my brother’s family on a Saturday, it’s usually Sunday and I shaved today. After leaving my car with my dad and meeting up with my brother’s family in the car park, we made our way to the show. It was admitted that no one knew where they were going, suggesting they were relying on the power of their subconscious to guide them. Derren Brown is a good example of someone who knows all about the subconscious, I recently pointed out how MY subconscious came up with the phrase ‘quick Thailand’ whilst sleeping. I guess everyone has different levels of ability. After a few minutes of walking we all saw a car sliding around corners on a track constantly covered in water by sprinklers or whatever. Sliding is cool! I was very much reminded of playing Gran Turismo as a child! However, in the game the tracks were more interesting than a basic circle and you can race against other cars, arguably making the game better, just saying. After that, we somehow we all made it to the ticket area without any issue! Derren Brown level navigation there, again I’m not sure how me saying ‘quick Thailand would help anyone.

The first thing we all did in the event was browse the supercars! Most of them were as you’d expect but one car had a toy car in the back, I think on the engine. Why was it there? Maybe it helped with the performance somehow (I don’t know how cars work, do I?) maybe it just looked cool. Speaking of toy cars, many of them weren’t placed in weird positions in sports cars, etc., some were on sale in a shop for just £1! A massive difference obviously, some would say a steal! They were probably a million times cheaper than the real cars, what would you rather have, one super car or a million toys? A sensible person would probably choose the car, but how cool would a square mile or so of toys lined up look?? It’s the kind of choice you have to think deeply about, just in case a car obsessed madman approaches you and gives you the option. I guess he’d be creepy in a way, but there are worse madmen out there, for example raging van drivers, which thank God I didn’t see. After the toy browsing, I got a donut in a building with motorbikes in them. I suppose riding such vehicles indoors is moderately mad. Not as benign as given fun options, but not as sinister as a man with an axe and screaming, which I also didn’t see. :)

After that, we all saw more cars which made sense as it was a car show, but we also saw a variety of planes. Why? I don’t know. I liked it, though. My brother shared a story of someone who tried to hide in plane’s landing gear as he was flown to another country and had to withstand temperatures of - 20 degrees c, but he sadly died. I don’t usually want criminals to get away with their crimes, but I did there. What a story that would be! Forget arresting him, give him his own chat show! It’s like those people who escaped from Alcatraz and were never seen again. It’s assumed they died on the journey to land but if they didn’t and were found, forgive and forget, right? Yes they committed crimes, but It’s such an incredible achievement, they should be rewarded, though only after apologising to the victims, of course. After the story, we all went inside a parked plane. Inside, there was a sign warning people not to touch the controls in the cockpit. Has anyone ever hijacked the plane before? Maybe the person making the sign was just thinking to himself ‘… never again…’ The youngest child wanted to leave the plane as she had a phobia of them. I thought that was strange, then it was explained she had flown in one before. I wondered where such a fear would come from… A fear of PARKED planes? A bit weird.

After that we went to the play area for the children to enjoy. Well, mostly the children. Whilst some of the toddlers enjoyed sitting in the small rocking planes fixed to the ground with springs, I STOOD on a plane as it rocked which was far more dangerous. I’m not BRAGGING about being more hardcore than a toddler but yeah, it was more dangerous. I didn’t go on the swing which is something. I wanted to though, my niece was clearly loving it. After that, we all browsed even more cars! I noticed one was for sale, however it was the worst one in the whole show. It’s like visiting an amazing land of chocolate where everything is made of the food, including the buildings, furniture, statues, etc. and only being able to buy a Mars Bar. Who cares?? I pointed out how a row of cars had numberplates that ended with the same three characters, most people wouldn’t notice! Oh, I really do. After the browsing, we went inside a museum! In the building, I noticed something that was little more than a seat with wheels and a small dashboard. The speedo said it could do 80 mph which really impressed me. I also read a story about a car that was ‘sandwiched’ between two others. Mm, car sandwich. Some people do eat cars, it’s called ‘pica’…

Back outside, I noticed a car with ‘Pantera’ on its side. It was arguably the most rocking car in the whole event and it was also my time to shine by showing my excellent general knowledge: I pointed out how Pantera is Spanish for ‘Panther’. I hope as many people heard that as possible. Back to the subject of numberplates, I noticed a motorbike plate with ‘BPD’ on it. Oh you don’t want a motorbike ridden by someone with borderline personality disorder. Such people aren’t known for being the calmest. After that, we went into ANOTHER museum, where I saw a very small car and a sign next to it, saying it could do 272 mph! No way! I told my dad about that, and he said the car was a quarter sized model. I thought that was weird… Once we all got bored and on the way back to our cars, we saw the guy drifting around the track again. He wasn’t doing that all day, was he? I’d imagine it would be fun for a while, but I wouldn’t want to do it that long, talk about an extreme version of travel sickness… My dad said various members of the public were driving the vehicle, phew! After that, we headed to a no entry sign. A bit of a navigational blunder there but only a small one, we soon found our way! :) And that was the day out! Now the Eurovision super duper blog is coming, I haven’t been doing nothing!