England Vs Panama! (Blog 588)

England are about to play Panama in the world cup! Before that though, I’ll be talking about the pre-match talk and not only that, I’ll be listing the times things get said/the times where I make humorous observations! Hell, sometimes I may say things that come across as stupid, stay in school, kids. I’ll tell you what is smart, though: I won’t be saying ‘PM’ this time, but using the 24 hour clock! It’s that little bit more sophisticated, now let’s go!

20:58: I basically missed the first 13 minutes of the talk, as I was eating Papa John’s pizza and four PJ’s cookies (very good), and then I brushed my teeth (went well). Wait a minute… where did Ant and Dec come from? What happened to the original presenters? A bit weird.

21:03: The presenters are changing every few seconds, now! Oh it’s a clip show, I guess of previous pre  match shows. I thought the TV program was trying to appeal to youngsters who get bored easily. It may be good for you, for me it’s confusing.

21:04: The apparent clip show has ended, and Ant and Dec have gone! The first presenters are back! I hope the match is this action packed!

21:08: Adverts… I should have brushed my teeth then. No, now I can wash my face.

21:11: I’ve finished washing and the presenters have gone again.

21:13: Now the setting has changed… There’s an advert in the football pitch saying ‘Ban America’? Ah, Bank of America, a (new) presenter was covering part of the commercial up. I mean the contest is IN America, why ban that??

21:14: Someone new is being interviewed, this really IS exciting! He has a foreign accent too? How can you spice things up more??

21:16 It’s back inside and now the first presenters are back!

21:18: I have to be honest, I’ve barely taken a word in, in all this time, I keep fixating on all the people changing. Runners of the show may want to take note of that, for the ADHD viewers…

21:19: Wow, on the chat show there is a TV showing even more people.

21:24: There’s a new presenter!!! Who knows, maybe people keep getting sacked for obscene language, again, I wouldn’t even notice…

21:27: I know it was weird when I compared Kane to Elvis Presley, the footballer being interviewed ever so slightly reminds me of Sid Vicious. Keep him away from bass guitars and singing, he’s not very good.

21:50: I can’t think of anything to say apart from changing presenters, tbh. The match will be starting soon.

21:53: Huge flags have been shown on pitch like last match, again, where do they go??

22:00: The match has started!

22:01: Coca Cola seems to be taken up 90% of advertising space. Is there anyone on Earth unaware of the drink? Maybe spend the advert money on something else?

22:03: Oh good the ads have changed, they’re on computerised screens, they’re not being manually changed by workers, it would be too distracting!

22:04: Visa are dominating the ad space now. Again maybe a bit OTT? Then again, maybe they’re so famous because they advertise so much.

22:08: Hyundai adverts, this time, but is it pronounced hi-un-die or hyun-die? Or here’s the biggest question: Who cares? A lengthy advertising campaign made a big deal out of the issue, though.

22:12: Oh England are wearing red and Panama are wearing white? I thought it was the other way around. England usually wear white don’t they? I guess I’ve been focusing on adverts too much!

22:15: I’m still getting used to England wearing red. They have black shorts too? Black and red are the two most evil colours, especially when combined. Who’s idea was that really?

22:17: England have white numbers on their back which is something, I actually have a Van Halen jumper with the exact same colour scheme… Not an evil band! I’m not playing football for England though, despite my clothing!

22:18: Someone headed the ball and then fell over…

22:22: A McDonald’s advert said ‘I’m loving it’, arguably a better advert than simply ‘Coca Cola’. How about ‘Coca Cola is really nice!’ That would basically be as creative as the burger advert.

22:27: The England goalie saved and admirably he didn’t shout a swear word afterwards.

22:34: Two footballers ran into each other and fell over, and neither had the ball…

22:44: An advert saying Kraken? Let’s google that… Yes I knew it was some kind of mythological monster why is it advertised in football? Ah it’s an A.I. company, too…

22:49: Half time and no one scored! Good hasn’t triumphed over evil which is worrying. Ah yes, England are wearing Van Halen colours!

22:54: There’s more talk show. Please keep the same four presenters, I can’t handle any more.

23:04: The 2nd half has started!

23:07: Martinez looks a little bit like one of my brother’s old friends, his name was David…

23:13: Why do footballers keep running into each other? It’s not bumper cars…

23:14: Still no one has scored! The intro talk was indeed more action packed. :(

23:16: Kane nearly scored at very least. Still the intro was kinda better…

23:20 England scooooooooore. The power of the Van Halen colour scheme! I recently saw a numberplate with VNH on it, and not only that, it was a van! BVH doesn’t mean anything though and I saw that, too. Maybe brother Van Halen.

23:26: England score agaiiin! Kane is either celebrating or he really thinks he’s a plane.

23:29: People are singing Bon Jovi… Why not sing Jump? That’s a nice song, by Van Halen too.

23:33: Panama nearly scored and the England goalie said ‘God!’ is that swearing? I guess not really.

23:39: Ghana have equalised with Croatia in another football match, meaning England are top of the group! I should have pointed out the two countries are playing at the same time as England earlier, but I forgot. Anyway, hypothetically England could punch a Panama footballer, and they’d probably get away with it. They’d get a red card, I know that, but they’d probably still win! So why not?

23:43: A footballer has replaced another in a substitution. Is he thinking ‘what am I going to do in the few remaining minutes?’ I would.

23:47: Someone in the audience is either dressed as an old knight or he IS really a mediaeval knight!

23:49: Panama nearly scored but it was offside! Haha.

23:51: Panama nearly scored again but the English goalie didn’t swear. Not so hard, was it?

23:55: England wwwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiI!

Right! All in all, I preferred the match over the talk, fine. Now it’s time to go to bed! Oh what I’d give to sleep for 8 hours like a normal person. That’s the price of sanity and medication side effects, bye! No actually I want to see my computer clock at the very start of the next day, that’s always satisfying. Not as satisfying as seeing the start of the next month, I almost never see that happening. :( Yeah, seeing the time was pretty good. I’m not sure how I forgot to make a Panama by Van Halen reference in the prior writing, but there’s always 2030! Oh no the next England game is Wednesday at 5pm? I’ll be at the gym! Gym > football, so there won’t be a football blog! Now bye!