Brother’s Baby’s Birthday Bash 2 (Blog 216)

Before by brother’s baby’s brilliant and unbelievable birthday bash, I needed to get a present. I was told she really likes Peppa Pig, which is not to be confused with peppered pigs. Though interestingly, as I believe pigs are only kept in farms for their meat, I suppose Peppa Pig will turn out to be a peppered pig in the end. That’s a bit dark for toddlers so I’m not going to tell her that, I’m just going to give her my present and say ‘Happy Birthday’. Unfortunately I soon found the toy shop in Staines was closed on Sunday, so I got a Peppa Pig DVD, rather than a cuddly pig toy. (And no, pigs aren’t cuddly in real life. Well not really. I guess they can be cute, but the smell outweighs the pros in my opinion. Cuddling them would probably trigger some uncontrollable farting, too, but I’m sure the show doesn’t tell the viewers that). I have no idea which is the best DVD and I’m not qualified to judge what makes good or bad TV for infants, but it’s the thought that counts, right? As in ‘to me your present is super annoying, but I did pay for it at least’.

But before the DVD purchasing, I thought it would be good to get some grapes. I thought candyfloss grapes were out of season, but no! I got some tutti frutti grapes again too, but some were a little soft spoiling things. I don’t know how they’re bred to taste so nice, but if the farmers could perhaps breed them with harder fruits, they really would have the perfect grape. Soon after walking in the local Starbucks after getting the DVD (sorry if I’m all over the place, I blame it on laziness I mean stress), I was shown a square picture with black boxes and white spaces in it. I was kind of thinking to myself ‘What, am I supposed to be able to crack this code?’ A bit of an obnoxious thing to think, but deep down I was just jealous of the very clever phones that were designed to do the scanning. If only my brain could surf the internet and stuff. Yeah, cool. I didn’t have a mobile on me to make me easy to trace if I got infected, but not to worry, all I had to do was write down my name and phone number on a list for everyone to see, instead. The establishment missed an opportunity to make people write down their addresses and times where their houses are empty, but maybe that’s something they can do in the future. As usual, there were issues when drinking the hot chocolate and cream as the latter seemed reluctant to be swallowed, but it was fine, I guess.

Let’s skip to Tuesday then, the actual day of the breathtakingly beautiful birthday blowout! (I promise to go in chronological order from now on. In this blog, anyway). I mean there’s not too much to say as I’m waiting to leave the house for my brother’s but I’m sure I can come up with a paragraph at least. I suppose the main thing on my mind is the fact my medication was delivered much earlier than usual. That could have been a huge problem as if I wasn’t in to collect it, I’d be kind of stuck. It’s not supposed to be left unattended on my doorstep as it’s simply too potent. Like rocket fuel. You don’t want people thieving stuff like that. Also, it would be to no one’s interest if I were to go cold turkey, that’s for sure. So yeah, it’s lucky I came back from the gym in time. If I didn’t the delivery driver could say to his boss ‘Simon doesn’t want his medication anymore! He’s clearly rebelling against the system. I’ve noticed his car isn’t parked by his house, too. I’m assuming he’s gone off to meet with the pixies that he’s been imagining and to race them in some kind of suburban drag race.’ That’s pretty serious stuff.

Hm. Still a bit of time to kill… I think I’m going to do some not so serious music reviewing. Bye!

The party, then! It was kind of just me, my two neices, my dad, my brother and his wife hanging round really, but that’s fine as I don’t really enjoy 2 year old activities anymore. I’m not into musical chairs the way I used to be, for example. Looking back now, the game was kinda dumb, though it had something about it at the time. One of the toys the birthday girl was playing with played some really creepy music, I have to say. It WAS major key and upbeat, it just had a sinister quality to it. It’s hard to say how. It’s like when you see a really sweet looking doll, but when you look at it, it stares right through your soul. That’s how the music made me feel, anyway. Again, difficult to describe. Sweetness mixed with evil. She didn’t even seem bothered by it. Of course it would be cruel to show her a horror film and I wouldn’t, so don’t worry, but I bet she’d be able to handle it VERY well. And I'm talking films like Saw.

Ok, that was my BBBBBBBBBBBBBB 2, basically. A bit short, but that wasn’t to worry, as that meant I had time to join the online version of the London Comedy Writers meeting when I got home. I was a few minutes late, but the great thing was, others had trouble logging in so most people were! How about that? Bye!