Comedy Contest 48! (Blog 273)

(WARNING: This blog will require extreme concentration. You may want to count with your fingers).

Today, I’ll be reviewing a video about a man who is desperate to find the amazing Tom Cruise; so much so, he is willing to slap people who don’t help him. The good news is, apparently if you meet anyone, their friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend will know how to find any person on Earth. No wait, it’s not their last friend alone, that would be odd. Fascinating, but a real head scratcher in the extreme. Painfully so. Let me rephrase that - Either their friend; their friend of a friend; their friend of a friend of a friend; their friend of a friend of a friend of a friend; their friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend; OR their friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend. Clear now? I think that is my most boring writing to date. :) The theory is called ‘six degrees of separation.’ Simple. But maybe I should have just mentioned the name of the concept, and left the explanation. I guess it was technically accurate, but I’m hoping this blog won’t be the first thing newcomers see. When combined with the odd warning? Hm.

The bad news is, Tom Cruise probably wouldn’t want to meet the uber fan, because the latter is mental. You may have heard the actor going on an angry rant because of the stress of his job. Then someone like the fanatic nutter turns up. One can only imagine the response that would get. So that Tom calms down a bit, and doesn’t suspect I’m judging him, I’m actually ambivalent about the rant, personally. Yes, I’m a poor worker in many respects, just like the people getting yelled at, but at the same time, people can be annoying. Moving on. You know how to simplify the six degrees of separation to just one? Befriend Forrest Gump. He knows EVERYONE. Maybe Forrest Gump 2 should come out, where video maker Matt Jones pesters the loveable super-runner to find his hero. It wouldn’t be quite as sentimental as the first film, but I think it would be an adventure. Who knows, maybe there would be gun battles too, like in the original. The only difference is rather than Matt firing weapons against enemy armies, he instead fires at the police who rightly accuse him of stalking.

Perhaps a more appropriate film hybrid would be the obsessive fan, mixed with The Terminator. As in ‘Where is John Conner? I don’t want to kill him or anything, I just want to get his autograph… What? You won’t help me? Then give me your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle.’ That may sound silly, but if done right, it could be a genuinely good psychological thriller. The obsessive fan mixed with Bambi however, would be a load of crap. Well, I guess if done right… No. Let’s move on. Anyway, check out the guy’s video below! (I’m not going to pad this review out, by saying ‘check check check check the the the guy’s guy’s video out out’ times a million. Even though doing so wouldn’t make sense, maybe I should. A bit of a weedy paragraph, this one. Ah who cares? Cares? Cares? Cares? Cares? Cares?)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?fbclid=IwAR1E_T5mYOLZnXo376JcbuvsxhWA6T-zU_zUprsdTjo6IugpFIJIqBgJUeQ&v=Hi_dM2ZGbVA&feature=youtu.be

So yeah, I’ve done another one man contest, haven’t I? Ah, who cares, times, what is it 7, now? Now to change the subject! Jackson have some guitars out that are camouflaged. What’s the point? So you can play rock guitar in war zones? That would be an exceptionally complicated military tactic, as everyone has different tastes in music, don’t they? Some foes would like the music, perhaps enough so, they approach the musician, making them easier targets, others would want to retreat, saving the allied soldiers. Maybe that’s what Jackson were going for. But surely Jackson would only want one kind of reaction, not two? If both reactions happened, the battlefield would be dangerously unpredictable. Still though, camouflage is aesthetically pleasing. It’s possible Jackson just wanted to look cool, which does make sense. Again, apologies for the earlier, repetitive writing, but it was clear, if you used both your hands. I hope. Bye!